Being Over Doing
Pamela O'Leary, PCC
Leadership Development | Building Transformative Learning & People-Centered Programs | Executive Coach & Facilitator | Social Impact
I am in love with Trevor Noah's brain. Okay, maybe also some other parts of him! I was listening to his recent podcast episode reflecting on his 40th birthday, and what he said really related to my inner struggle as an insecure overachiever. He shared how so many of us are in the "machine of achieving, working, doing." Yup, that's been me for sure.
Trevor shares, "I am trying to spend as much of my brain power on living a life well-lived as I would normally spend on achieving things in life...so my goal now is to try and find a bit more of a balance and say, okay, instead of just trying to like do, maybe I also wanna spend more time being, and...it requires you to let go. It requires you to find moments where you're unsure. It requires you to do things you've never done before."
"I am trying to spend as much of my brain power on living a life well-lived as I would normally spend on achieving things in life." Trevor Noah
Yet, so many insecure overachievers like myself get paralyzed by the uncertainty. We must know now. We must stay busy. We have deeply ingrained patterns of the urge to always be productive. It's so hard to just be, let alone be happy with just that.
To live any other way would be lazy or dare I say worthless. Who am I if not for what I have done, accomplished, or achieved? Is there possibly another way to feel proud?
During a recent conversation, we started by talking about what we did over the weekend. One person shared they felt guilty for just spending most of their time playing with their new cat. That alone was not enough to make a proper use of a weekend.
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Trevor asks us, "How did you rate your week or your month? Is it by the things you did or by the ways that you were?" Could being a good human, a good friend, or family member be enough? Can anything ever be enough? How would it feel if I focused more on who I was becoming rather than just what I was doing?
Just like Trevor, I am very much still learning how to see myself from a lens of who I am versus what I have done. Oh, and happy 40th birthday Trevor Noah, my fellow 1984 baby! May you and all of us continue to find not only success, but happiness.