Being Nice Is a Trap — Foster This Attitude If You Really Care About Your Employees And Company

Being Nice Is a Trap — Foster This Attitude If You Really Care About Your Employees And Company

Christine Park, chief people office at Pantheon, thinks "being nice" at work is a trap.

This first came into focus early in her executive career before she became a chief people officer. She was working on a merger, and a junior team member was eager to take on a critical role.

Deep down, Park knew the employee wasn't ready. But she wanted to be a nice leader. So, she ignored her instinct and engaged in what author Kim Scott has called "ruinous empathy." In her desire to give that teammate what she wanted, Park set her up for failure during hardcore negotiations.

Result: anxiety attacks for her and a huge headache for the team.

Here's why and what you can do instead.


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Abdullah Reed

Eating Coach <> Salt Free <> Guiding <> Responsive ??Eat With Purpose ??Reject Bad Food ??Transform Your Life ??6 Month Salt Reduction ??Follow Me For Insights

1 个月

Thanks for sharing this insight.

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Neil Thompson

Teacher of Geeks | Inc. Magazine contributor | Children's book author | Speaker | Podcaster | Engineer | Follow & Ring My ?? for Technical Presentation Insights

2 个月

If niceness had honesty baked into it, it’d be great. Often though, it doesn’t. People will lie to each other to be nice. At least that’s what they tell themselves.

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Abby Robbins

Delivering impactful talent solutions for the world's leading brands

2 个月

Great advice, the kindness ROI is not talked about often enough, it can't be forced or faked and creates a genuine and meaningful work experience that benefits everyone now and in the future.

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Maureen L Teasdale

Functional Skills and GCSE English and Maths Teacher. Teacher Active at Derwentside College..

2 个月

Being nice and polite costs nothing. Being honest and polite costs nothing. Offering a potential employee CPD to help improve upon his or her skills is minimal and in reality a must. Leading someone up the garden path only to drop them in it is evil. One upmanship here is the story of the power wrangles in the office and who is vying to be in what prime position. Top dog. To be truly kind you should just do it and expect no thanks for it, no recognition, lets not feed the inner ego. After all, if you stick your head out over the parapet as being a do good, extreme;ly kind indivdiual, someone else may just come along for the sake of it and take advantage of you. Then what happens to your ego? What happpens to your inner ego, if you have set yourself up as that kind do it all, It will break and you will end up feeling abused and treated as a dogs body. But there is nothing wrong at all with being nice, being polite and being honest.

"The culture shift from niceness to kindness creates space for honesty, accountability and fear-free conflict", I totally agree.

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