Being a mom in a time of social distancing

Perspective for this Mother’s Day weekend 

Let’s face it – this is a challenging time to be a mom. As we head into Mother’s Day weekend, when typical brunches with loved ones will be replaced by Zoom calls, I’m struck by many different feelings – ranging from the joy I feel having extra time with my son, to the gratitude I have for my own mom, to a feeling of disappointment that many of us will not be able to be with our loved ones this weekend. Above all, I have a true sense of awe listening to the stories of many who are balancing so much during this pandemic – work, home, homeschooling, caregiving, and more.   

If you can relate to this mixed-bag of emotions, you’re not alone. Through our research, we’ve found that a majority of women feel this ‘emotional load,’ – the invisible, extra weight or pressure women often take on in their personal and family lives to care for others. This is especially true of parents who take on extra responsibility in the household – like so many have had to do lately. And that includes the women who are like moms to us; whether it’s grandmothers, aunts, cousins, sisters, neighbors, or others. So many are truly unsung heroes during this time. (And fully recognizing many men are carrying the extra load right now too, I’m focusing on moms in this post given the holiday this weekend.) 

I’ve been thinking a lot about this over the past few weeks, and about the examples set by my own mom, sister, grandmothers, and loved ones who helped raise and guide me. Every generation has had to navigate challenges – and the life lessons these women taught me repeat in my mind as I navigate this current situation as a mom myself. 

My mom worked tirelessly for decades so that my sister and I could have the best education and opportunities – and she continues to be a source of love and support for us. My grandmother founded the first all-women’s music school in India – paving the way for education and empowerment for many. She was also a freedom fighter for India’s independence. They each rose to the challenges of their day – and the examples they set are at the forefront of my mind right now. The feeling of an emotional load isn’t new, even if it evolves from one generation to the next.  

Even though we won’t be able to mark Mother’s Day in the usual ways this year, we can still remember, recognize, and celebrate the deep meaning of moms and what they mean to us. And that includes both acknowledging the load that so many moms are carrying during this time – and the things we have learned from the moms who shaped us. It’s a time to truly express our gratitude and recognize them. 

In this time of social distancing, I’m looking forward to spending time with my son and husband, and then connecting with other loved ones by video chat. For me, having this time together is the best possible way to spend this day – and the meaning of the day is just as profound as ever. 

So whether you’re a mom, or whether you’re celebrating the women who have guided you, I wish you a happy Mother’s Day.