Why being honest is better than being impressive

Honoured to be invited by Eric Sim. Had a great time sharing with MSc in Financial Engineering students at the National University of Singapore.

I had an engaging exchange with one of the students, who asked me on my note about Being Honest at job interviews. I got the sense she felt the need to impress the interviewers at such sessions, but as a young graduate with limited work experience, being honest may show more of what is lacking due to inexperience. Brings back memories.

I pondered on this that evening. It is natural for people to want to impress, possibly at all first meetings. Be it an interview, a work meeting or a party.

I am reminded of the words of Adam Smith (often known as the Father of Economics):

Man naturally desires, not only to be loved, but to be lovely.

Before we get the wrong idea, let's put the sentence in context, given the differences in understanding and interpretation of "love" and "lovely" during his time and now. It has nothing to do with romance but more a sense of wanting to be liked and respected. To be appreciated, desired and cherished.

The first part of the sentence seems natural. Most people want to be loved. It is the second part of the sentence which I want to focus on; "to be lovely". To me, Smith added that in the same sentence, highlighting not just the desire to be loved, but also to be worthy of being loved. That's the part where honesty comes in. Where praise and respect are deserving. Earned with honesty, so the love is authentic.

We are often told that first impressions count. And they do. It is equally, if not more important, that those impressions be a true reflection of who we really are. The first meeting is but a start. If there is authenticity, then I would like to believe, the relationship formed will then be long-lasting. Whether it is a job, a business relationship or friendship.

It isn't easy. Most of us want to impress. As I grow in my personal journey, and marvel at those lasting relationships which I have been fortunate and blessed to form, Smith's words ring true. My journey towards loveliness continues.