Being Held at Gunpoint - Part 1

I would like to offer a story that is both chilling and likely one's worst imaginable nightmare. It illustrates many of the topics that SAFE International covers during their self defense seminars.  Danielle has agreed to share her story in hopes that it may offer some insight into how easily someone can find themselves in a life threatening situation that started off so seemingly innocent.  She shares some very intimate thoughts along with her rationale for some of the strategies she used to survive.  Rarely will you read or hear from someone who thought more calmly in the face of violence. I will offer part of her story followed by my comments, thoughts or bits of advice I feel may be useful to the reader. Please be warned there are some graphic details in her story. The thoughts I will offer are easy to come up with in front of a computer with time to think, but by offering them here, perhaps if one found themselves in a worst case scenario, they may recall them.

In no means are any of my comments meant to question anything that Danielle did because as I always say, “If you got home to your family, then you did a fantastic job”. My thoughts are just to get people thinking about the options they may have or how they might handle such a terrifying experience.

Here is Part 1 of her story in bold text with my comments following.

I was on my way into work early one morning. Traffic was light since it was before 6 am on a Sunday. As I headed down one of the main roads I saw a car that appeared to have been in a minor car accident, (it was off the road between some trees). I quickly glanced around to see if anyone else had stopped and didn't see anyone other than a cabbie and a guy in his late 20's, who was well dressed, good looking, yet slightly shaken up. I thought to myself that I was almost an hour early. I could stop and see if there was anything I can do to help. I made a U-turn and pulled up alongside the guy. I rolled down my passenger window and asked if that was his car? He said yes and asked if I could I help him. I said sure, would you like me to call the police, a friend, or anyone else? He reached into the car, unlocked the door and jumped in. He tells me his cell phone isn't working and tries to plug it into my jack with my cord. I immediately think that maybe he has been drinking as his phone wouldn't work with my cord! He tells me he called his friend, but she hasn't come yet. He picks up my cigarette and starts to smoke it. I don't smell alcohol on him, yet I can tell he is on something, as he keeps looking around, and his hands are shaking. I say that I have to be at work shortly, but could I call someone else. He looks directly at me and tells me I'm very pretty. I feel nervous, and my laugh shows these feelings. Why doesn't he answer my questions? I try to take charge as I reach over and start to take his pulse, explaining to him that I am a nurse's assistant, and think he may be in shock or something. He asks my name, and I tell him. I ask his in return and he says it is Jonathan, but he paused and looked up to his left, making me more nervous. I say, OK, 'Jonathan' I have to go now but I hope your friend gets here soon and wish him the best of luck.

1) One of the greatest human traits is to help others in need, but unfortunately it is also one of the traits that “attackers” look for in possible victims. A huge part of my teachings include how attackers will look for people who are not just polite, but hopefully overly polite. In this story Danielle sees someone who might need help, and being a nurse, helping others is not only natural, but a priority. There may have been a time when you could help another person and have virtually little chance of any harm coming to you, but more and more often I now have to warn people that this could be a tactic being used against them. I can’t think of anything sicker or more sad than this, but it is a fact. As I often ask, “what does your intuition tell you about the scenario?” If you feel any apprehension in regards to your safety, do not feel obligated to stay and help. If not certain, get somewhere safe and do your best to help by calling the appropriate person or maybe 911, but do not feel you must stay where you are in that moment. If you feel pressure to stay or made to feel guilty for not helping, those are indications that your apprehension may be very warranted.

2) The challenge here is that Danielle felt comfortable helping here, so she did get close to the man. If you feel comfortable, you aren’t going to be on high alert necessarily. If you invite the man to sit in the car, that is one thing, but it is very bold for the person to reach in, unlock the door, and get in without asking. Here is where some may have a definite answer on what to do. Should you get out of the car if possible? Should you start yelling? If yes, what if there is no one around? Should you crash the car to attract attention? Should you drive somewhere public? EVERY SCENARIO MAY REQUIRE A UNIQUE STRATEGY. Based on specifics I would have an answer, but being in the moment of increased adrenaline, fear, affects all decisions.

3) Look for physical cues. This man is shaking, nervous, and immediately goes into complimenting her appearance. As attractive as a person may be, they should feel uncomfortable with a stranger offering these compliments within minutes of meeting you. Meeting you does not mean they know you. It is a strategy many attackers use because who doesn’t like to be told they are attractive? It is meant to calm you down, when in fact it should make you much more nervous.

4) Danielle begins asking several questions, but he doesn’t answer any of them. She begins to take charge as a nurse may do which was smart in my opinion acting as if she isn’t aware of what may be happening. Then Danielle notices something I think the vast majority of people would never notice. She asks his name and he responds while looking up to his left. I have read articles that indicate someone who is looking up to their left while speaking is a sign that they are lying. I asked Danielle about this and this is what she said,

I was watching his facial expressions as I felt I could tell his ‘mood’ by his eyes, the Jekyl and Hyde thing, when he was angry they were clouded over and when he wasn’t, they were almost sparkly. When he looked up to the left I assumed he was contemplating on what to say, being creative or lying. In my head I was going through everything I had learned in Social work, mostly abnormal psychology.

Very few people would be able to pick up on the slightest of those signs, but she did and it began telling her that she was in a lot of trouble.

His face changes, it creeps me out, and it went blank like something you would see in the movies. All I can think of is Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He reaches into his inside pocket of his blazer, pulling something out and tells me to drive around so he can think. I don't look to see what is in his hand as I already know what it is. I turn to him and look directly in his eyes and say, I really have to get going, it was nice meeting you Johnathan. He tenses up and shoves the gun to my head and says “do you not know what this is?” I assure him that I really do, but I still don't show my fear. I'm playing stupid out loud, yet the wheels in my head are turning faster than I thought possible. He tells me how pretty I am again, and how he will have his way with me. He tells me that he is going to cut me up in little pieces so they won't be able to identify my body. I start driving while he yells at me to turn this way, then that way. I take in my surroundings while making small talk. I size him up. I'm guessing 150lbs minimal, and he doesn't look like he works out. He changes the conversation and asks if I have ever seen the movie Natural Born Killers, I lie and tell him I'm not that much of a television person. He tells me that our day is going to play out the same way the movie did.

1) Now a weapon has been introduced. Is it being used as a tool of intimidation or for the purposes of physical harm? They are in a car.  If the driver wants to take you to a “secondary location” then I recommend you do ANYTHING you can to draw attention immediately because the secondary locations is generally where police find the bodies. This may mean crashing the vehicle somewhere public or crashing it strategically based the environment. There are generally 3 things an attacker does not want, although I think the times are changing and I believe sometimes they do want to get caught because they want publicity drawn to their cause whatever that may be. In general terms here are the 3 things attackers do not want:

A. To Have Attention Drawn.

B. To Get Hurt

C.  To Get Caught

2) If you allow the attacker to take you where they want, the odds of survival are very limited as there will likely be no one around to hear you yell, they will have assistance available to them to continue their attack, or they will have the isolation most attackers want and need to not get caught.

In this story Jonathan has told her what he is going to do to her! As bad and terrifying as it sounds the one good thing is she doesn’t have to wonder what he might do, he has told her so time to base your survival strategy on that fact.

TO BE CONTINUED……………

Keep SAFE!

Chris Roberts

Managing Director, SAFE International

www.safeinternational.biz