Being Heard, Confidence and Lean In

This week I want to share sone of my favourite blogs and articles on -

1. Female leaders making themselves heard
2. Do we lose when we lean in?
3. 10 tips for confident leaders

Female Leaders Making Themselves Heard

This is a real and unfortunate issue. Our female leaders are not being heard or being spoken over. We run a number of leadership programs ranging from middle managers, emerging leaders and women in leadership – the challenges I hear within these groups are very different. The women in leadership share their frustrations around not being heard or being able to speak more so than any other program.

This is something we teach and it is a wonderful technique (it can work with any team or group as well to embrace diversity of thoughts).

I read an interesting article from Quartz which discussed a communication technique adopted by?women at the White House to make themselves heard.

Politics has long been a man’s game so it’s no wonder that women are outnumbered in the White House, particularly as the President’s Aides. Quartz makes the point that women are typically interrupted by men, no matter what the setting, and that has led to the introduction of the new term “manterrupting.”

However, women at the White House have developed a new technique which they call Amplification, helping each other be heard.

The technique is simple but clever, and it’s one that women could apply anywhere they really want to get their message across.

The technique

The article says “When a woman made a good point, another woman would repeat it, and give credit to the originator. This made the idea harder to ignore, or to steal. The women called the technique ‘amplification.’”

Why does it work?

Constantly repeating yourself so your message is heard is a waste of time. All that happens is that the intended recipient switches off. Your voice becomes little more than ‘white noise’ blocking what other people are saying.

The key to amplification is that someone else picks up your message and repeats it, acknowledging that the contribution is yours.

Immediately, your message gains credibility because someone else has recognised its value. It’s much harder to ignore two or three people saying the same thing, than it is to ignore just one.

What does it rely on?

The technique will only work if you have someone willing to support you in getting your message across.?It’s based on cooperation and not competition. You need an ally at hand. As women, we naturally collaborate well especially when we have a common goal. I would suggest building your alliance before you head into your important meeting so each woman knows what the message is and how best to help you (each other) get it across.

The article comments that “Obama noticed and began calling on women more often.”

So we know the technique works and we understand why it works. Why aren’t we using it?

Would you use this technique?

Would you consider using amplification in your next important meeting? I’d love to know your thoughts on the subject. Your experience and thoughts might help others who are reading this post. Please leave me a comment below and let’s start a conversation.

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Do We Lose When We Lean In?

Women leaders and executives, I have a quick question for you: would you walk into your boss’ office tomorrow and ask for a raise? The question might make you smile at first. You should, you say – you deserve it right? But then you start to doubt yourself – why? For so many complicated reasons, and being a woman is just one of them.

Overall women believe that they should negotiate their salaries more often – on a fundamental level that sounds like the right thing to do. But in reality, it does not happen or not as much as we would like to think it does.

Negotiation

Research shows that men are four times more likely to negotiate a higher pay, and if granted, it can create the disparity of female to male salaries across the board. You might not think a few thousand dollars makes a difference in the scheme of things, but that difference can lead to larger raises and bigger bonuses annually, not to mention a higher starting rate at their next position. And so on. Once the gap widens then, it makes it harder to catch up or remain on par.

How women react during negotiations.

But so many emotions come into play with leaning in to negotiate. Fear for one. Often female executives don’t have the skills to negotiate for themselves and are too scared to make the first move. They would prefer their employer to offer a higher salary or hand them a large project rather than go out of their way to ask for it. It is not that men are better negotiators, as there are many empowered women doing it successfully already. It is the fact that men are almost expected to negotiate, so the well-trodden path makes the journey easier. Female executives often feel like they have to negotiate the bramble before the pathway is clear. Women face both unconscious and conscious bias when it comes to their salary negotiations. They are being evaluated under a separate set of circumstances entirely.

Female executives and leaders are afraid of offending their employer. Will they think of you differently if you ask? Will you be labelled demanding or challenging for violating non-traditional gender norms? These can have real and disastrous consequences if the situation is not right. And not every situation will be right. You may have heard the story about the female aspiring professor who challenged a job offer with the Nazareth College in the U.S. She asked for a higher paying salary, paid maternity leave, a pre-tenure sabbatical, a cap on the classes and a deferred starting date. They rescinded their offer and wished her the best in finding a new position. Too much? Too early? Who knows; either way, they withdrew the job offer.

How to make your approach.

If you wish to discuss your salary, avoid entering the room in defence mode as the chances are that your case will not be heard. They don’t want to listen to the “he gets she gets” story, even if that is obviously the case. It should always be about your value to the role, your willingness to take on additional tasks and your position within the organisation. The fact that not every negotiation will be successful is what puts many females off asking in the first place.

Negotiation techniques and tactics need to learnt and practiced if we are to close the salary gap, and Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook knows this as much as anyone. She published a book in 2013 entitled Lean In focussing on women’s ambitions in the workplace. Interesting and worthwhile reading for both male and female leaders in the workplace if we are to understand our worth and change our thinking.

Do we really lose?

So do we lose when we lean in? I think the answer lies somewhere in the middle. We must continue to break the gender norms and push the boundaries by asking for more and showing that we are worth more. However, we must look at each case scenario individually and determine the best way to approach it.

What has your experience of leaning in and negotiation brought you? We’d love to know so please share your comments.

If you believe you need some help in this area, consider joining our OWL (Outstanding Women Leaders) Program - new intake August 2023 - which will help you develop the skills and attitudes you need to become an amazing leader.

Call the team on 1300 719 665 or email us at [email protected] to find out more about the program

Join Sonia for her free masterclasses and one day public workshops!

10 Tips for Confident Leaders

Being a leader can take a lot of courage and putting yourself out there. You’re not only expected to produce an extraordinary outcome, but take a diverse group of people along with you. On top of that, your team is also expected to perform and produce, and work closely and collaboratively.

Your team members rely on you for decision making, taking the right steps, and, ultimately, leading them to success. However, if they have a moment of doubt about your abilities, or sense you’re unsure, you’ll lose their respect, and quite possibly their desire to put in the required effort.

You’re already a leader, though, so it isn’t much of a step from there to command respect and appear confident. Here are the top ten tips for being a confident leader.

1.????It’s not personal. If something goes wrong, or one of the team is frustrated or disgruntled, it’s not about you. As a leader, you’ll be the sounding board for your team, and at times this can get a little uncomfortable. It may even sound personal, however it rarely, if ever, is.

2.????There are no favourites. If you have a truly diverse team, you’re likely to experience conflicts and clashes. It’s important to hear out both sides equally, and feedback the concerns without emotion, and without favouritism. Even if you agree vehemently with one member, being neutral is essential.

3.????Make decisions. Confident leaders are those who can think quickly under pressure, and call the shots when required. It is not so much the decision you make, but the indecisiveness that causes you to look unsure and shaky. Do something; don’t leave the team in limbo.

4.????Acknowledge achievements. Even the little wins can have a big impact on the team, so it’s important to recognise these milestones. Just as importantly, acknowledge individuals for their contributions and efforts, as well as the team as a whole.

5.????Credit where credit is due. There’s nothing worse than someone taking the credit for the hard work you’ve done. It’s a good way to lose all the respect and trust you may have had for them. As a leader, you’re likely to be the one acknowledged for the overall output or the success of the project. Average leaders accept the praise; great leaders give credit where the credit is due.

6.????Responsibility and Accountability. Leaders will accept responsibility and be accountable for all that happens. If things go well, of course, they’ll distribute the credit. When things don’t go so well, a confident leader will work out what went wrong. Was it their communication, the decision they made, the system they set up that contributed to the issue? Then they go about fixing it.

7.????Communicate honestly. This is where a confident, competent leader really comes into their own. They don’t try to appear as though everything is running smoothly, and will ask for input or ideas when needed. If one of the team isn’t performing, they support them while they discuss the reasons behind the lack of performance. Honest communication combined with genuine support will get your team out of almost any negative situation it encounters.

8.????Respect. Leaders understand that this goes beyond valuing a person’s position or perspective, and involves their individual circumstances and needs. They aren’t frustrated by a person’s need to learn in a certain way, or their need to leave early to care for a family member. They’ll also ensure that the rest of the team adopts this same attitude towards all team members.

9.????Trust their instincts. It’s this trait that allows a leader to make decisions quickly and efficiently. They not only have a highly developed sense of ‘gut feel’ but know it is essential that they listen to and follow it.

10.?Don’t Lead to be Liked. Good leaders honestly don’t care if you like them or not. They’re there for the success of the project, not necessarily make new friends. Like the first point, none of this is personal, and they’re not doing this because they need more friends, or need more people to like them.

Confident leaders don’t need the approval of anyone. Confident leaders are about what they give, and how that comes across, not what they’re getting out of it.

By?Sonia McDonald ?– CEO Of?LeadershipHQ ?And?Outstanding Leadership Awards , Leadership Coach,?Global Keynote Speaker, ?Entrepreneur, CEO, Mum And?Award Winning Author .

Sonia is passionate about her voice. When Sonia speaks, everyone in the room feels like she is having a conversation with them as her audience will feel as if they are the only one in the room. She speaks from the heart. She is brave. She wants everyone to be brave. She is an impactful and motivational leadership expert and speaker that creates a life-changing experience. People call Sonia sassy, inspirational, real and a speaker who leaves a lasting impression. Her high-energy, authenticity and humour combined with actionable and practical advice, empowers her audience and provides them with great drive and confidence to take courageous actions and inspire great leadership in all aspects of their lives.

Sonia also is founder of LeadershipHQ and McDonald Inc. and is also a renowned and award-winning author, having written several of her own books, Leadership Attitude, Just Rock It! and First Comes Courage as well as being a regular contributor in The Australian, HRD Magazine, Smart Healthy Women and Women’s Business Media. She was named as one of the Top 250 Influential Women in the world as well as Top 100 Australian Entrepreneurs by Richtopia.

Through her leadership advisory and coaching work at LeadershipHQ, and founding the Outstanding Leadership Awards, Sonia is internationally recognised as an expert in leadership and culture, organisational development, neuroscience, kindness, and courage.

Sonia is also a full-time single parent and has a passion for women in business and teenage mental health. Sonia travels and speaks across Australia and Globe, and she is on a mission to building a world of great leaders and leadership.

We are a leadership development and performance organisation. We encourage leaders to realise their full potential, discover their calling, and make a real difference in the world.?With us, you’ll find a truly invested team that offers genuine care and support while telling it like it is. We are deeply committed to the success of our clients.?You won’t have to deal with the egos of large consulting firms – your success and progression are everything to us. In our work, everyone feels safe and inspired.

About LeadershipHQ

Outstanding Leadership Begins With You (With Our Help)

We focus on leadership development and encourage leaders to reach their full potential, find their calling and make a positive difference in the world.We genuinely invest in your learning, provide authenticity and tell it like it is. We are deeply committed to our client’s success.

We don’t have the egos of large consulting firms, and your success and significance to us are everything. Everyone feels safe and inspired at work.

We do everything –

• Cultural Development
• Leadership Development
• Executive Coaching
• Online Leadership Solutions
• Team Alignment and Building
• Safety Leadership
• 360 Degree Leadership Assessments
• Project and Bid Team Development
• Survey Design and Reporting