Being Gagged Loses My Voice
Lady Mia Bly BSc (Hons) Dip
Massage & Reiki Therapist & Instructor, Holistic Sensualist, Bitchin’ Witch, Burlesque Instructor, BDSM & ABDL Educator, Biomedical Scientist, Author & Poet
To quote a friend of mine on being gagged, ‘The thought is one of my biggest turn-ons… I tend to think I'm fairly good with my words; the thought of losing them is what I feel makes me most powerless … Like you can take away my hands, but I'm generally not touching you without permission. You can ask me not to talk, and that's hot too, but the physical manifestation of losing that ability is hotter.’
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When they said this, I found it rather intriguing. The psychological effect of ‘losing your voice’ is an interesting way to consider being gagged. Words are powerful, so not being able to use them is to be rendered powerless. The premise of being gagged as a removal of power is quite understandable. A gag takes away your ability to express yourself, to beg or to complain, you can only endure. In this respect, it instils a sense of helplessness beyond other forms of bondage.
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To relate, for me, it is like when being bound; the appeal is that you are helpless, and that you can not physically 'fight back,' so you are powerless to resist the pleasure.
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Bondage is defined as the state or (consensual) practice of being physically restrained, either by being tied up, chained, or put in handcuffs, for sexual gratification. There is no mention about the restraint of being gagged.
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A common pleasure from practicing bondage comes from the feeling of the temporary transfer of control and power from the submissive to the Dominant. The restrained partner is rendered more accessible to other sadomasochistic behaviours, with the submissive deriving a sensual enjoyment from the feeling of defencelessness. The restrained partner is vulnerable to a variety of acts, including some that they may be inhibited from otherwise engaging, and would otherwise be reluctant to try.
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So, how does this differ for the act of being gagged? Losing your voice means not being able to object from acts that you would normally be self-conscious of.? Being gagged (in general) means that a piece of cloth is tied around or put inside your mouth, in order, to stop you from speaking or shouting. This prevention of speech leaves you vulnerable, which many submissives find exciting. Often as a restraint device is used to stop the sub from calling out, and to keep them verbally silent. This is usually done by blocking the mouth, or by attempting to prevent the tongue, lips, or jaw from moving for normal patterns of speech.
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There are many reasons why people allow and enjoy themselves to be gagged. Some feel a freedom during this corporal passivity, being able to concentrate on their feelings and emotions, feeling at peace, and decluttering their mind from everyday tasks and stresses; Some people have to be tied up to be free.
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If you are naturally very vocal, or have a job which requires you to be overly verbal, then having your voice restricted can feel liberating. Permitting a Dominant total control over your mind and body is not only arousing, but the relinquished control can give you a release from pent-up tension like nothing else in the world. Restricting your ability to talk means that you know that pleasure is coming, not necessarily knowing when or in what form, and you can not even ask or beg for it, you just have to endure.
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The type of gag changes the experience too:
·?????? Ball gags vary in size and softness. They range from large, hard ball gags and dildo gags fill your mouth and do not allow you to bite down and they drastically restrict your speech, to smaller, squishier ones that you can bite and are able to mumble through a bit easier – and there are all variations inbetween.
·?????? Breathable gags are usually hollow balls that have multiple holes in the main body, in order, to allow air to pass through and make it easier to breath while wearing.
·?????? Bar gags are fashioned like a horse bit and usually made from silicon, this allows you to bite down hard and easily, and you are able to mumble your distain and delight.
·?????? Muzzle gags are very dehumanising. These do not force an object into your mouth, but rather enforce the unique feeling from being ‘gagged’ in the same way as an animal.
·?????? Open mouth gags, such as ring, ‘lips’, and hook gags, are where your mouth is forced and kept open, giving access to anybody to do anything they want with your gaping mouth. There is no way to bite down or make any sort of understandable words. Drooling is inevitable, and the whole experience feels humiliating.
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Whatever gag you gag on, it is more than likely going to immediately quieten your mind and help you to relax into the scene and experience. Wearing a gag tends to make the restrained partner to feel more submissive and objectified. The act of being gagged by a Dominant is essentially telling you, ‘I do not need your input here, I am going to do what I want, and you do not have a say.’
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This being said, the submissive does always have the last word when it comes to BDSM play, and there are several ways to use your ‘voice’. Ways to use safewords when you have a ball gag in your mouth include:
·?????? Oatmeal! The word, oatmeal, can still be said and heard even with a gag in your mouth. Humming is another way to communicate.
·?????? Blinking; if you maintain some level of eye contact during the scene.
·?????? Hold onto a bell or a squeaky toy (or anything that makes noise), and ring/squeeze, in order, to communicate.
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·?????? Tap out; tapping your Dominant on the arm, leg, or torso to indicate your needs, or tap against the bed etc.
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Note: The truth is, a good Dominant will be watching your body language, and also checking in with you during a scene.
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Bondage and restraint feels good, yes. The feeling of helplessness that the submissive experiences, along with the anticipation of unstoppable pleasure from your Dominant's next move, is pure delight – but just because you are rendered silent does not mean that you can not communicate.
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Your voice is your main method of expressing yourself, and having someone take it away from you can be extremely exciting. Being gagged…
·?????? Produces a feeling of sensory deprivation, which increases the level of excitement by enhancing the sensation of the remaining senses.
·?????? Enhances pleasure and leads to an altered state of consciousness called subspace.
·?????? Builds deeper connections, as all forms of bondage are dependent upon trust and security within the relationship. The sense of vulnerability that comes with giving up control will develop trust and closeness between partners.
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Think about it…
·?????? When it is dark and you can not see, you can still speak.
·?????? When your ears are covered and it is hard to hear, you can still speak.
·?????? When your ability to move is taken away, you can still speak.
If your voice is taken away form you, then how do you speak? Your expression, character, charm, opinion, and personality are all rendered speechless. Being gagged means that all you are capable of doing is listening; so, listen to yourself, your body, your feelings, and restore your inner peace and pleasure. ?
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Always keep it safe, sane, and consensual all you glorious beautiful kinksters.
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References:
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