Being Friendly or, Being a Friend?

Most managers & parents are grappling with this today:

Dealing with 'The most difficult 2 generations' of the time:

*The Generation 'Z' or The Gen. Z

*The Millennials...

How do we deal with them?

Be it your Gen Z daughter or your Millennial son, and / or, most often handling these two generational workforce at our work-place. Managers are clueless on how to deal with them and often try various instinctive combinations only to later find out that it will simply not work.

The academic world that propelled parent-teacher meetings don't seem to work, student counsellers are clueless, advise is rejected outright, repermind and penalising acts are out of the window. Corporal punishments are prohibitted in most evolved societies! Reward, recognitions don't do enough. Threats & punishments, calling parents to school - meet the principal & teachers don't work...

Parents on the other hand with no formal education or training in parenting fail to understand where they are cluelessly failing, much ahead of the child's failure not just academically, but in most areas of social behaviour, basic & acceptable mannerisms, inter-personal relationships, empathy, career aspirations and media (social & online) gluing.

Most often parents-teachers judge and term the teen-adolescent behavior as brash, inobedient, careless, spoilt, pampered, arrogant and adamant. While these are the only 'known terms' mostly used by the current parents-teacher group who have mostly used to describe the behavior of the children during the teen & pre-adolescence phase. This definition is repeated today for lack of definite defining words in the parenting dictionary.

Parents & teachers listen! the displayed behavioral meaning of the teens and pre-adolescent Gen. Z & Millennials is much beyond the definitions of your known vocabulary. You simply cannot get into the cerebral space of these two generations! The colossal failure on the limited intellect, understanding and indepth psychol-analysis of this generations whom we have to deal is an everyday reality. Let us accept it in all humility and face this truth.

At our work-place, feedback meeting, open meetings, town-hall meeting, pre & post appraisal meetings, warnings, one-on-one meetings, write-ups and more.... hasn’t worked with this new generational breed. It is neither going to - Often coming across as "I care less" - the only resounding impressions that constantly recaliberates in the minds of the Gen. Z and the Millennials are – “my manager simply cannot understand what we want” or, "My boss is my pain and will never ever understand me! "?

As adults dealing with these two generations, its best to draw the line...just before setting your foot on their toes. Being on the other side, try to be empathetic, be receptive and unlearn 'your' generational learnings, the learnings of your times need a thorough unlearning and overhaul. Are you prepared to go through this journey? With very little choice, the only way out is - Learn the new language of the Generation Z and the Millennials - Welcome to their world!... now make it your world. Attempt to be 'Friendly' thats the closest you can get.

As the adult manager & boss of the yester generation, the better way out would be to stop being authoritative - organizational hierarchies don't work with them! Showing them your power & position at the workplace don't work either. The official level or designation you hold is hardly a differenciator. To understand simply 'Rules' are not meant for them - it’s their game, their rules! Any attempt to penalize them,(with a hope of disciplining them) and you will find them repeat that action or behavior with much more velocity, resistance and resilence. They will vow to revolt your intentions everytime from then. Punish them, they will retaliate beyond your imagination and, emotionally abandon you and watch how you fervidly bleed.

So what are we supposed to do?

While the generation of yester years dealing with these two generations are seeking answers through various platforms, it is simply a inter-generational conflict. Both the groups are on an attempt trying out various combinations without a definite answer or formulae, hoping that something might work on these two distinctively different generational species. It should never turn out to be They versus Us - It is We & We for sometime now.

The best try would be to watch them, learn from them and just 'TRY' to be friendly. Give them enough space to discover, evolve and let them fight their internal battle, a battle of identity formation, unanswered questions, defining life & careers, personal definitions of relationships and the universal challenge of worldly reality and stumbling truth that they will encounter.

Never give them an opportunity to feel 'victimised' lest they psychologically ostracize you and your actions. Understanding that they disagree with your life's principles and they don't see your rules or philosophy & ideological rationale. Being sensible and emotionally sensitive is the first leap towards accepting their behavior without judging them. A hard try indeed on every trick in the book yet to be written. Remember the thumb rule - "you can never-ever enter their lives as a FRIEND" Please do not attempt.

This video summarizes:

https://youtube.com/shorts/j7R1cTHFzZQ?feature=share