Being in "Fly" State

When was the last time you had a meaning conversation by taking everyone else's viewpoint into consideration? How often do you have them on a daily basis?

Every day we go through multiple interactions with people. In almost every conversation, we focus primarily on what we think, what we believe and how people respond or react to us. Although it isn't wrong, all or most of our conflicts others directly result from our perception of reality that affects us.

I'm sure that you have heard that one of the best way to deal with our perceptions and misunderstandings is to walk in another person’s shoes. But, how can you actually do it?

The "Fly State", as I call it, is an great NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) technique that can help us gain insights and provide learnings for a lifetime.

Imagine a difficult conversation you had recently and think how that conversation would be perceived by a third party that is not associated with you. When you are a fly on the wall, you are only interested in things that matter. You don't care about fluff and would be distracted quickly. When we look from a distance, we can review our conversations and interactions in a dissociated way i.e. detach from our emotions and analyse our responses. We understand what we can do differently in similar situations in the future. We learn the importance of listening and understanding our emotions. We can adapt to situations more efficiently and focus on the larger picture.

The best way to become a fly on the wall is to imagine yourself standing 10 meters away and watching your conversation. See, hear and feel what it means to observe the “you” in the discussion. Monitor how you are reacting to what the other person says and your body language. Also observe the same thing about the other party.

What advice would you give? What change would you recommend? What behaviours would you adopt going forward? Growth and learning are the keys to success, and by using this NLP technique, you can change the game.

Post Credits: Sue Knight - NLP at Work