On Being An Entrepreneur

Facebook, YouTube, and all other Internet apps were all the buzz. "Social Media Influencer" became a real thing. As I scrolled through my feed, aesthetically pleasing motivational quotes caught my eye, an angry (or passionate) middle-aged man was saying how I should work more, news of randos getting millions in funding for the weirdest ideas emerged, college drop out billionaires were heading into work in pajamas... and eventually, I started to believe that I too can conquer the world.

"The Hustle"

I started my career at the euphoric height of the entrepreneurship and hustle cultures. As a person being at his most productive stage of life while caught in this blip of time, I took in these cultures with open arms.

I was a hero in my own mental playground. Being an entrepreneur involved taking the less worn path while using my mental, physical, and financial health to achieve "success" (loosely defined to be within the intersection of meaning, influence, autonomy, and financial gain). Also, I started this early on in my professional life. This meant putting a detriment towards establishing a solid career path. At that time, I felt like I was embarking on one of life's greatest adventures.

With being unprepared and unskilled, I dove head first into all that appetizing risk and uncertainty with an unhealthy dose of optimism and naivete. Sure, there were moments of triumph. Though as what is said in the stars of this life decision, it is one that is blessed with a more generous portion of tribulations.

Since being an entrepreneur, I have been operating on an overwhelmed basis by default. Being whelmed is a rarity. In fact, now that a good part of the decade was spent doing this, I feel as if something broke. I do not really know how to operate in any other way. The driving mode is in "sport" at all times. The downside being it consumes a heck of an amount of fuel. Between all the excitement and turmoil is a person who is always on the edge.

Stubbornness, the age old recipe?

During one of those lonely and hopeless nights some moons ago, I told myself that I shall allow myself to endure this for a total of 5 years. When I failed, I told myself that I would make the next try the last. But this became a recurring pattern of behavior against any personal standards that I had set for myself. It also went beyond any time limit that I supposedly stood firm on. Now, my "last try" miraculously worked out, but I wonder what would have happened if this didn't. Would I have stopped or tell myself once more that the next will be my last?

There is oftentimes a reference to the "entrepreneurial DNA". That is, there are characteristic predispositions for individuals who are suitable to be an entrepreneur. This is separate to general characteristics that are much needed in the working world (such as being responsible, a team player, etc.). Speaking from my experience alone, this "DNA" may instead be related to being resilient (or stubborn), requiring high stimulation (or an addictive personality), and risk taking (or foolish). Depending on the circumstances that surrounds one's life, these characteristics best describe an entrepreneur or a stubborn and impulsive addict. Perhaps they are merely two sides to the same coin?

Conclusion

Anyway, if I had the choice to turn back the hands of time, would I still choose to be an entrepreneur or would I choose the alternative? From a cost-benefit analysis, both options are riddled with their own challenges and likewise pleasures. Both could potentially lead to meaning and fulfillment (otherwise known as "The Good Life"). Though if my hunch is right, I would likely turn out to be an entrepreneur once more. Perhaps it is the stubborn thrill seeking fool within me. Or perhaps, deep down, I know that having taken the less worn path made all the difference.??