Being Enough is Your Guide to Beyond Limitations

“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody” ~ Maya Angelou

From the desk of Lesley Benson

We live in a society that regular bombards us with messages that have the ability to breed self-doubt and comparison. Yet it is imperative to remind ourselves that we are enough, as we are. Our self-worth should never be determined by external factors or the standards set by society, rather it is essential we affirm to ourselves that we possess intrinsic value deserving of being loved and respected.

Sounds simple when said like that yet on a daily basis we are challenged to hold true with this concept.?

How many times have you told yourself that regardless of what another thinks or feels about you, you will continue following your own path?

Then you are either out and about, having a conversation with an acquaintance, in a colleague meeting and the other person out of the blue says something that brings you down and you find yourself capitulating and agreeing with the other persons opinions.

You feel deflated, angry or sad, vowing that you are going to behave differently the next time, only to repeat the response over and over again.

Today, we are delving into ways that will assist you to stay true to your true self.

Lesley.

Aisling is a remarkably capable young lady. Upon graduating university with a very impressive degree, she was offered numerous roles in her chosen career path. The new recruit started well. Praise was forth coming, for her obvious talent and academic acumen yet as the honeymoon period started to wear off, the challenges started to appear.

At first it was related to constructive comments on how to be more effective with her time management of tasks and clients, but slowly the personal comments started to creep in to the dialogue and Aisling found herself answering and behaving like a small child again.

Being aware that this was behaviour that she grew up with in the family home Aisling knew that she required herself to make some constructive changes to how she responded to the comments. The intellectual brain knew she was capable, intelligent enough to be a valued member of her team but her emotional self, needed to catch up.?

After all, she was aware her family whilst proud of her, had their own issues relating to her success.?

Implementing this strategy would demand considerable effort, but Aisling understood that for her mental and emotional wellness, personal fulfillment, and the advancement of her career aspirations, it was essential.

So where does one start?

Self-acceptance

The ability to embrace yourself fully including your ability to acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses without judgement. When you have a clear picture of your strengths and weaknesses you will allow yourself to fully connect with others.

When you give yourself the freedom to be true to you, you will also allow others the same privilege.

An exercise to discover your strengths and weaknesses:

Taking time to discover your strengths and weaknesses is a productive exercise in fully understanding your whole self, not just the part you put on show for others but the parts of you that you have hidden due to any perceived fears you have in how others will receive you.

Find a quiet space where you will be undisturbed grab your device or a pen and paper and take an objective look at your strengths and weaknesses.

Create 2 lists one with the heading Strengths and the other with the heading Weaknesses.

On the strengths list take time to contemplate and reflect on your positive attributes. Then on the other list do the same with the areas you struggle with.

Think about the qualities and skills you appreciate about yourself:

• personal characteristics, kindness, resilience,
• your talents, e.g. creativity, problem solving.
• your achievements e.g. academic, professional, personal

Write at least 5 strengths you recognise in yourself. Be specific. Be descriptive.

Now to the 2nd List – Acknowledge your flaws.

Shift your perspective now to your perceived flaws or weaknesses.

Reflect on habits, behaviours and traits you struggle with or wish to improve.

Have compassion for yourself and be compassionate towards yourself. Treat yourself how you would treat another.

Remember we ALL have areas where we can grow.

Again, write down at least 5 areas for improvement. Be honest. Be specific.

Do not be overtly critical.

Reflect on both lists and observe patterns and connections between strengths and flaws.

Consider how your strengths can be contributing to your success and happiness as well as how your flaws may be presenting challenges or obstacles.

Reflect on how you can leverage your strengths to overcome or mitigate your flaws.

Self-Compassion: the ability to treat oneself with kindness and understanding especially when feelings of struggling and failure arise.

Life is never entirely positive; without contrast, how can one recognise the potential for new opportunities?

The notion that feeling anything less than constant happiness and positivity means you're doing something wrong can lead to a life where opportunities for personal and communal growth are overlooked, possibly affecting not just those close to us but also the wider world.

Humans are often quick to judge and dismiss their decisions, yet it is through these experiences that growth occurs.

Self-Compassion Exercise:

The objective of this exercise is to cultivate understanding, support and kindness when encountering moments of difficulty or struggle, assisting you to understand your choices.

Find a quiet place for reflection and understanding. Gather your gem kit (supplies: paper and pens).

Identify a challenging situation that is either recent or you're currently undergoing. One where the experience is:

• leaving you having difficulty,
• struggling to comprehend or
• you're filled with self-criticism

e.g. a mistake you have made, a setback to plans and you are feeling emotional turmoil about the future

Notice: Observe and acknowledge any self-criticism, judgement or harshness you have towards yourself, or where you are making yourself wrong or seeing yourself as a failure.

Now write yourself a letter. Address it to yourself and write it as if you are writing to a close friend who is experiencing similar challenges. Start by acknowledging the difficulty of the situation and validate your feelings of distress and pain.

Express your understanding and empathy to yourself and recognise that setbacks and struggles are universal. Then offer yourself words of kindness, encouragement and support, reminding yourself that you are worthy of love compassion and forgiveness regardless of any mistakes and shortcomings.

Shift your focus to your strengths and your ability to persevere and be resilient, drawing on your strengths to navigate the challenges.

Close your letter with heartfelt words of encouragement, reassurance and compassion. Reminding yourself that you are capable of handling what comes your way. Remember the sun rises every day. This cycle will change.

Upon completion, read aloud to yourself focusing on the words being given to you by your supportive friend.

Notice how you feel upon having read the letter aloud.

Take time to repeat this letter regularly.

Embracing self-compassion fosters a sense of calmness, nurturing and kindness when faced with adversity.

Self-Worth: The ability to recognise one’s inherent value, being able to be deserving of love, respect and fulfilment.

Why do we not see what others see in ourselves?

How many times has someone close said to you ”why don’t you see what I see in you?”

The $64,0000 question, right?

Yet only when you value yourself can you move forward in understanding.

Lesley loves looking in the mirror and telling herself "I’m fabulous, I am enough, I love myself," to name a few.

At first, she wrote "Good job you can’t see me do my twirls in the bathroom, then she corrected herself – oh wait I wish you could, because I am enough and I don’t have to prove it to anyone.

Karen also has her self-love: I am enough routines. where she sings love songs to herself as she looks into one eye. Though a few months ago she took it up a notch when she purchased this ring:

So how do you get to this stage and beyond?

Yes, it does require commitment and continued effort but oh so worth it and so are you.

I AM enough exercise

This is where repetition is your friend,

Create a list of 33 affirmations

• I am enough
• I deserve to be loved
• I deserve to be rewarded for the effort I put in
• Etc.

Repeat regularly: As you smile, say them into the mirror, whilst noticing how you feel, as you say them out loud.

Be Authentic: Live true to your values, beliefs and true self rather than conforming to societal expectations or seeking approval from others.

This is the biggie. It's so easy to sell yourself out without realising you have done it. The innuendos, the snarky comments pushing yourself into a direction you had no idea where you're heading. STOP believing others before yourself.

Here is a 'Be Authentic' exercise

• Spend time looking at what you value and how it creates a positive impact in your life.
• Compare the 'what you value' list to the times when you've sold yourself short to fit in, keep the peace.

Which makes you feel better?

• Create practical steps to honour your values in relationships, work, leisure... all areas of your life.
• Consider how you can assert yourself when necessary to protect your boundaries.

Being able to assert you are enough is a journey, that some days you win and others you are bringing up the rear, though so long as you are participating in the journey means you are a winner and you truly are enough.

You are enough when you participate, when you believe that your efforts are for your higher good. Believe in yourself, dream the dream and go for it because you simply are the best

In Summary

As we close this edition, we trust that you'll carry forward the wisdom and practices shared. Let them be a constant reminder that being enough is not merely a state of being but a guide to living beyond your perceived limitations.

Pledge to be kinder to yourself, to value yur unique journey and to recognise that in the quest for self-acceptance, self-compassion and self-worth, the journey itself enriches you far beyond your imagination.

Until we meet again, always remember that you are Simply The Best!

#EmbraceYourWorth #BeyondLimitations #YouAreEnough

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