Being a Dad is like being a leader - it is an honor

One thing I know for sure is that being a Father isn't always the easiest job. Often, I say, being a Dad is a honor. I believe that and have learned to feel that way over time. I don't think I felt that way when I first became a Father 13 years ago. I think I kind of felt like wow, this is amazing - now what do I do? All this focus is on this new baby and suddenly less of the focus is on me, or so I thought.

Fast forward to now - I have three kids and even more responsibility as a Father. 13, 11 and 6 year old kids run around and share my name. Their interest in me varies based on the kid and based on what is going on in their lives. I have learned over time that this is perfectly fine. You have to step back and realize that it is not what you get out of being a Dad, it is what you put into it. This is true with most things in life if you really stop to think about it. As a younger Dad, I did not realize it, but early on I kept falling back into a mindset of thinking it was about me or trying to make it about me. It wasn't.

As I got comfortable putting more of myself into being a good Dad, I found it got easier. Putting in the work, doing all the things you do as a parent without a thank you or any fanfare. That way of thinking can really change your perspective and give you a lot more confidence as a parent. For me, I was a worried younger Father. I worried I would not be a good Father. I worried I would be judged by others for not doing something right or missing a step or missing something obvious. The more situations I found solutions for, the more obstacles I was able to overcome when nobody was around really helped build my confidence.

Having good, supportive role models around really helped too. You get to be in a situation and see how someone else handles and calms a kid screaming their head off. You learn from watching others. Reading articles. Listening to people who know more than you do on the topic.

It is funny when parenting starts to sound like other things in your life you had a chance to pick up, like a new sport or workout routine. Like starting a new job when you didn't know all of the people or processes in your new role. When others knew more and you suddenly were the person in the room that didn't have all the answers.

Guess what? You figure things out. You draw on other situations and experiences just like anything else. It is amazing what you can pick up, the things you can grasp rather quickly and also how each part of your life and each learning builds on the last learning and experience.

Being a Dad is like being a leader. You have to make decisions, you have to fix things. You have to think ahead and consider the way certain decisions or approaches will impact the long game. You have to look to other parents to see what they are doing, how they are managing and navigating. You pick up tips and tricks and you share tips and tricks a long the way.

Over the years in my career, I have been a leader to many people and I have worked for amazing leaders in so many of my roles. I think some of the most special moments of being a leader come at times when you least expect it. When after many years, you hear from someone you hired or promoted or someone who was on your team. They recall something that made an impact on them. Other times I will be in the middle of a project or an issue and think of an amazing leader I wonder worked with and think, what what they do?

The same is true being a Dad. When one of my kids brings up a funny memory or recalls a serious situation, like an injury and what we did to quickly help them or get them the care they needed - that's when you know you are doing a good job as a Dad. It is not so much the day to day stuff, it is really more those moments in your kids lives when you were there for them when it was important to them and they needed you. So those thank you's and recognition may not come every day or even often, but they do come and you have to savor those moments for sure!

I do not strive for perfection in being a leader or a Dad. I try to bring as much of myself to both roles and keep growing. Have as much fun as you can on the journey and be the first one to laugh at yourself. It puts kids (and people) at ease.

Happy Father's Day!