Being Content with Not Being Able to Fit In

In life, we may force ourselves to fit in so that we can be accepted by groups. But sometimes those groups may not be the answer as it does not give us any happiness or perhaps even make the person into a bad human being.

Therefore, we should know how we can be content with not being able to fit in with everyone we meet.

Islamic view on fitting in

Islam has stated that those who socialize with all kinds of people are better than those who are not, as stated in a hadith:

?"The believer who mixes with people and endures their injury is better than the person who does not mix with people nor endure their injury." (Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 388)

While mixing (socializing) with others is definitely better, it does not mean we have to force ourselves if it is beyond our capabilities. As stated in the Quran:

“Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear.” (Surah Al-Baqarah: 286)

We should focus on maintaining relationships and social circles that allow us to be ourselves while also bringing positivity to us and our surroundings. That way, it can ease our heart and mind and will be able to allow us to do our tasks better.

There is a view related to socializing where it is recommended for us to uzlah (self-isolation) if in socializing it will lead us to slander. As the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi Wasallam said:

?????? ?????? ?? ???????? ???? ????? ???????? ??????? ??? ??? ???????? ??????? ???? ????????? ????? ??????????? ? ???????????? ? ??? ???? ?????????? ?? ????????? ? ???????? ???? ????? ??????? ???? ?????

"The best of people when dealing with fitnah is the one who holds the reins of his horse against the enemies of Allah. He frightens them, and they frighten him. Or someone who exiles himself to the slopes of the mountains, in order to fulfill what is due to Allah" (HR. Al Hakim 4/446, authenticated by Al Albani in Silsilah Ash Shahihah 2/311).

If we hesitate in adapting for fear of being affected by slander, it would be better to do uzlah. However, if we believe that we will not be influenced by evil, then it is better for us to associate with the community.