Being Coached

Up until a few years ago I would not have believed that I could benefit from a career or life coach – I was wrong. Having had the very positive and surprising experience of being coached since that time, I thought I would share my thoughts on that in the event that it helps others to understand the benefits and try it themselves.

A while ago, Jane Pak, someone who I had previously worked with, asked me whether I would be interested in trying a sample coaching session with her. To be honest, I initially gladly accepted the offer thinking that I would be helping her gain experience.  Little did I realize how much Jane’s coaching would benefit me! Even as a relatively new coach at the time, Jane was able to help me see some of the opportunities I was missing. She challenged me and really opened my eyes up to things that were going on in my life, giving me a valuable different and independent perspective and helping me maximize my potential.

I've always been a relatively self-confident and self-aware person. I've never had any particular hang-ups or bad vices, although I have never met a piece of chocolate I didn’t like. At that particular time in my life, I had a successful career and business and a strong and fulfilling relationship with my wife and three children. In short, there was nothing “wrong” with my life - I didn’t think that I really needed to be coached. But I was wrong.

It turns out that no matter how mentally strong you are, no matter how self-confident and intelligent you are, looking at your life through the perspective you've always had can be limiting in terms of seeing your full potential and the opportunities around you.  Looking back on what I have learned through my coaching journey, it seems silly to ever have thought that I could know everything about myself as it relates to opportunities in front of me.  My perspective has since changed and subsequently so have the opportunities to improve my lot and the lot of those around me. These improvements can be in relationships, in professional aspects, in whatever aspects are important to you. I found that simply determining what really is important to me was significant.

Probably the most important thing I learned from being coached (and I admit to having read about this before) was that, whenever you face a difficult decision, the simplest way forward is to first consider your core values. How will taking one direction impact your values? What about another direction? And while considering your values should not be the only factor in making decisions in your life, for me I have discovered it should be a major factor.

I recently faced a tough and major decision (the biggest in my life so far) which was made so much easier in large part by considering what I valued most: family, integrity, fairness and trust. Those values shaped my decision and, when I began to waver, simply reaching back to consider those values made my decision so much easier to follow through on. Of course, without the benefit of coaching I would not have gained such a deep awareness of my values and may never really have understood which of them are the most important to me or how significant they should factor in my decision-making. Now, my family situation is as strong as it has ever been (if not stronger) and I am able to more easily honor my core values.

I have learned that it is conflict with one's values which often makes one feel uncomfortable or uneasy with a particular direction or decision, yet I suspect that an evaluation of one's values in those circumstances is rarely undertaken. I believe that such a conscious and deliberate evaluation would make things much clearer and understandable as to why one is feeling uncomfortable in such a situation and the make the right path so much easier to see. However, without good coaching it may not be so clear how to do that, or to see that in fact one's values are not being honored.

In conclusion, my challenge to you is this: Simply try a session with a coach! Don't be embarrassed or feel awkward about it. Being coached doesn't mean that there is something "wrong" with you or that something needs to be "fixed".  It's about maximizing your potential!  And minimizing your internal conflict. And this applies equally to a 20-something or a 50-something.

There are many coaches out there: I personally know of two who I wholeheartedly recommend: Jane Pak (www.starlitskycoaching.com) and Heather Stewart (www.edenparkgroup.com). Best wishes!