On being the Center of the Universe (as a Reader)

Many of us have heard the infamous comment, “Do you think you’re the center of the universe?” Though likely said with indignation, there is truth to this statement about our students.

Yes! They are the center of the(ir) universe! Children are naturally narcissistic.? Yet, in some ways as children begin to feel shame, the more narcissistic they become in seeking validation of “self.”

One of the reasons we need to talk about shame in reading is because in many ways students are removed from being the center of the universe. Paradoxically, our classrooms are all about student achievement, helping every learner succeed, etc., but it has to be done in a defined way. Students are removed from being the center of their universe to find their way among the masses, which is often done through comparison if not competition.

The entire goal of schooling and inspiring readers is to transform them (though they may not understand why or for what purpose they must be molded). Moreover, as students try to make sense of themselves, what’s around them, and how to fit reading into their lives they can be (unintentionally) discredited. For example, “No, that’s not how it is” or “This is how you need to do it.” It’s not surprising then when students show arrogance, self-centeredness, or selfishness. Most of the time they are only trying to defend who they think they are when they cannot make sense of what’s going on around them and they constantly need to prove themselves to find validation. Ultimately children learn not everything can be about them, but how they fit within a larger culture and fulfill the (academic) expectations set before them. Undoubtedly, as they go through these changes, shame will be experienced to varying degrees.

If anything, shame is implicit in our classrooms. A child’s introduction to formal schooling can be a shock. Where once the student was the center of the universe and garnered all sorts of attention from their parents, now has to seek a fraction of attention from a teacher who has to distribute their attention to seventeen or more individuals.? It’s not hard to see how a student can withdraw and feel defeated early because of the contrasts in their supportive environments. Forget the idea of well-intended practices (i.e. RtI) which might further distort students’ sense of being the center of (their) universe.

Next comes reading and what their Concept of Reading is.? Please note that a Concept of Reading is anamorphic or always in a state of change. It should never remain in a particular state for too long. If it does, the teacher who comes along and alters the meaning of what reading is and how success is defined stands a strong chance of sparking shame.

Returning to my point. I think of the kindergarteners who love reading going to school. They are always read to. They carry books around and look at pictures constantly. The child’s Concept of Reading is pretty engrained after a few years, full of validation and love.? Within a period, say the middle of 1st grade, the student no longer likes reading. They don’t pick up books.? There is no more perusal, etc.?? What happened?

Many things happened (not all of which I will say here). For one, the Concept of Reading changed. Now the student has to make an effort to break the code. This was not required before school. Secondly, the reader is still read to, in a group, not the lap of a parent.? The student aren’t grabbing random books from their bookshelves and narrating their own stories, now they have managed choice, where they need to create meaning as they read, rather than enjoying the oral reading. In a sense, nothing about reading is about them anymore. Another choice is conformed, becoming compliant with a better chance of finding validation or dissociating, which is to become who they are expected to become, that is compliant, forsaking any interest or developing an authentic identity.

?This sense of confusion leads to feeling lost, which begins to internalize as shame, though the student has no idea what’s really happening. They just respond the best way possible: Contempt (“I hate reading), sullenness, and withdrawal. Such manifestations can be experienced as early as the first day or switching schools, where what was familiar had to be relearned, and figuring out how and where fit matters as much as academic pride – that is the willingness to be seen, regardless of acceptance, for intellectual identity.

In time, students who develop healthy shame, understand who they are and how they can be successful. Students who experience negative shame or become “shame-bound,” try to figure out who they are, often trying to replicate someone more successful or who garners the attention they desire and struggle to be successful.? They continually wrestle internally with the ideas of:

What is my role or place in the classroom?

Who do I have to be?

Can I be me?

When readers cannot figure these questions out because expectations continually alter or become ambiguous or they become dependent on others for the answers, they become challenging to teach. Their natural defenses close off opportunities to be vulnerable (which, when “coerced” into being vulnerable, only makes things exponentially worse).

Believe me, students will find their role. They DO NOT need to become readers if their experiences are marked with negativity or disconnection. Moreover, if they have to be readers, students will master the art of doing what is necessary, while not adopting any authentic aspects of being a reader. Read is done to them and that’s where it’s left.

A question becomes, “How can maturing readers be validated when there is uncertainty regarding what reading is all about and the determination of their reading identity can often be defined for them? How can we help readers be resilient while being true to developing an authentic identity in the face of transgressions and acclamation for others?

When maturing readers know they can be themselves, equating with the idea that they are again the center of their universe, positive things happen, including increases in reading achievement. Being the center of their universe means they are in control of their reading lives; they have gained a Concept of Reading that is successful for them. In this state, students demonstrate self-efficacy, and love positive feedback and affirmation, but are comfortable enough that intrinsic motivation and positive self-perception propel their progress.

Though students might lose their sense of self and realize they are no longer the center of the universe in the primary years, with proper interactions, support, and instilling a sense of identity, they can return to being the center of their universe.