Not Being Busy Makes Me Impactful

Going into a recent coaching session, I felt light, free, and unconflicted except for one thing. I wasn't busy. My schedule wasn't packed. I didn't have many deadlines to hit. I didn't have people waiting on me for something critical. So, with a little bit of anxiety, I am thinking in my head, "What am I missing?" "What should I be doing?" "Why does it seem like everyone else is busy except me?" all roads pointing to "I am doing something wrong. I am not having the impact I should." But I didn't feel like I was doing anything wrong. Like I said, I felt good. After an hour-long conversation with my coach, the picture became clear.

Not being busy is the only way for me to have the impact I need to have in my current stage of life.

Let's start with work and save the best parts of life for last. When I have projects, deadlines, meetings, and day-to-day tasks to complete, I am focused on them. My head is down until my task is complete, and I check the box. When my head is down, I am missing everything around me.

• I am skimming over the email I am copied on, which could indicate a more significant systemic problem.
• I am not attending the optional networking event that could lead to a life-changing connection.
• I do not notice a team member who would benefit mentally and emotionally from a conversation about something unrelated to work.

By not being busy, I have the freedom to notice things and respond accordingly and appropriately with virtually unlimited time and attention. Does this mean I am wandering around with no intentionality? Sometimes, sure, but even then, I am doing it intentionally.

While I had yet to formalize it before my coaching session, it became clear that I was following a specific blueprint as we talked. We dubbed it "Walking the Four Corners." As I brought up situations I was able to give my time and attention to, it was clear I was focusing on key areas:

• People—Sitting back and watching how things have developed, I've had the time to observe what people are doing, talk to them, build up personal relationships, and, most importantly, give them space to grow without me looking over their shoulder. I can see what roles we are fulfilling, what roles are missing, etc. I've been able to ask questions and provide insights that someone busy may not notice, all with no agenda other than to be present, ask questions, and, most importantly, listen.
• Processes—I've had the time to see how we're doing things, but most importantly, I notice when there may be friction within a process making it harder than it has to be. I've been able to ask, "Hey, is this the best way to do this?" and remove obstacles while the people neck-deep in it might not have the time to notice or, if they do, not have the time to fix it.
• Data—I can dive into data across the business to look for things that I otherwise might overlook, both in hard metrics and less tangible items. I can look for trends, things on the horizon, or things for future focus.
• Impact—I've been able to volunteer my time, talent, and treasure locally in my community and at my alma mater, 美国普渡大学 . What excites me is to talk about things like this and help people where I knew I needed help when I was starting my career. I've been able to make amazing connections with people in the spirit of serving them, knowing that the more everyone does this, the more we all benefit.

In my personal life, not being busy has opened up opportunities that will be even more impactful than anything at work.

• Faith life—In the past, when things were busy, prayer could easily be the first casualty. By having mental space, I've been able to hone in on my faith life and develop a relationship with God that has interweaved itself into every facet of my life versus short, desperate prayers when things aren't working out well. Building that relationship is central for me to be at peace and prosper everywhere else. Discovering my idols and keeping them in check is the only way for me to be who God has designed me to be. Keeping that line of communication open at all times is crucial. Not being busy has made that much easier to maintain.
• Marriage - Next to Jesus, Jordan Moore is the most important person in my life. That relationship needs time, focus, and attention; in many ways, that does not come naturally to me. Speaking different "love languages," I have to intentionally be the partner she needs. When she has a problem, she needs me to listen and not jump to solve it, which is very difficult. Not being busy allows me to focus on how to serve her in ways that she needs in a much deeper way than if I were working a 60-hour week.
• Fatherhood - God has trusted me to care for four crazy little kids. They are going to grow up into four adults. They will be called into their four vocations. Whether that is marriage, religious life, parenthood and/or a career, how Jordan and I raise them is who they will be and will dictate their impact for better or worse. Being an example for them is our most important role. Being able to spend time with them, have conversations with them, see their achievements and failures, encourage them, correct them when needed, show them what a good spouse should be, how to love their spouse, how to be a good leader, but most importantly, how to be a servant of God, is hands down the most rewarding thing we can do. Not being busy has allowed me to get them ready for school in the morning and be home when they get off the bus. I've been able to play Fortnight with the three older ones. I've been able to take them to practices, build pillow forts, have tea parties, and once, I even pretended one had a dentist appointment when the weather was nice so we could go golfing.

While some of that may feel like a waste of time in the moment, it all means so much. One situation really put it into perspective for me. My then eight-year-old son came up to me and said, "Hey, Dad, can we have one of those conversations where just you and I talk?" he brought up a sensitive and difficult conversation without my prying or prompting, and I was able to help him work through it. Without those hours with him of video games, binge-watching Back To the Future and Jaws, shuttling him from activity to activity, and forging dentist appointment notes (is it forging if I am his dad?) to get him out of school to go golf, I am not sure he would have brought it up. That makes it all worth it and puts it in perspective.

Reflecting on this, I see that not being busy directly results from the intentional plan I put into motion years ago. With an "achiever" mindset, it's easy to fall into the trap that not being busy is "bad" and it's one that I fell prey to often. While not being busy feels like I have less impact in the moment, it's clear to me now that not being busy is actually allowing me to have a bigger impact than I ever have in my life and on those around me.