Being Brave doesnt mean not having fear

You will bump into fear on the road to personal and professional development. There is no way around it. As we let go of who we are today and become the person we choose to be tomorrow, the road of the unknown can be frightening.??

The more something appears to be unknown or uncertain, the greater our fear can become. This can leave some people feeling stuck and others reverting to their past, where things were more familiar. When you wonder why some people stay stuck in their old patterns, think about it from the lens that the past is what they know; it's familiar and gives someone the illusion of safety. It is much easier to see from the outside than when you are stuck in the cycle of your patterns that hold you back in the past.

So, how do we break free from this cycle? This is a question that leaders, managers, parents, and anyone who has ever been in a relationship often ask. The answer, though it may sound simple, is a journey of learning to build our bravery. It's a process that can be challenging, but it's one that empowers us to overcome our fears and anxieties.?

Let's start with the misunderstanding that being brave means the absence of feeling fear.? That is not the case. The correct definition of bravery is not about eliminating fear but moving forward despite fear. As leaders, we must remember that many things we say and do look frightening to those around us. What we think and/or demonstrate as easy is, in actuality, well practiced - not easy. Things like picking up the phone and calling someone, handling an upset client, juggling our calendars, budgets, and projects, and still nurturing the things that are important to us, like family, friends, and significant others, have been practiced until we could get them into a place others see today.?

As a behaviorist, I am often invited to TV segments, give keynotes, and work with People. Officers and leaders around questions about dealing with fear, anxiety, and feeling stuck within our families, teams, and organizations. These emotions are part of the human experience. To better grasp them, we must delve deeper into their origins. The first step in cultivating bravery is to become more aware of these sources. The more clearly you understand the root of the fear and anxiety, the more empowered one can become to build their bravery. How? By learning to challenge those unhelpful thoughts and patterns.?

When someone is suffering from fear or anxiety, it is helpful to get the thoughts out of their head and onto paper or tablet. Somewhere where they can see it. The thoughts that we keep in our heads are rarely accurate.? This simple but powerful exercise is to think out loud and on paper what is really at the root of your fear. We soon discover that the root of these fears is far from true. For fears with some basis, I suggest breaking them down into smaller pieces to peel away what is a genuine fear and what is being amplified out of proportion, then taking each of the smaller obstacles and building a plan of action steps forward. This isn't to say these action steps will be accomplished without fear; it's to showcase that the plan helps someone take small steps forward while they are feeling the fear. With practice, you can empower someone to begin to make progress, and in that progress, they will appear to do things well practiced.