Being bold is like wearing a new pair of shoes.

Be bold! What does this mean? I recently received this advice from someone that I trust and respect and it made me reflect, what is boldness? And what would it mean for us to embody our boldest self daily? To try it on so-to-say, almost like a new pair of shoes.

When you think of someone being “bold”, what comes to your mind? Is it someone who is loud? Is it someone who is brash? Is it someone who is confident in themselves? Is it someone who is confident in what they want and how to get it?? Is it a mixture or neither of these things??

Being bold is courage.?

For me, being bold is being confident, but more than that, it is courage. The very act of being bold is courageous. It’s like digging out those shoes at the back of the wardrobe, that you haven’t seen for years. Still in the box. Unopened. Never worn. It’s having the courage to dig back there, despite knowing that we’ll likely make a bit of a mess first. It’s having the courage to go back there despite not knowing what else we may find, have to deal with or chuck out in the process.?

Most daren’t look at all, never mind try the shoes on.

But why is it daunting for many of us to rediscover them and try them on? Boldness shouldn’t feel scary. To me being bold means a similar thing to being authentic, and when we talk about either, they're about being unapologetically ourselves.

We all have these shiny unopened shoes, or the ability to find them, but for most of us, they’re in the back of our wardrobe gathering dust. We’ve forgotten that we bought them in the first place or if we do remember, we really can't be bare to find our way back there and deal with all the mess and clutter that comes with it.?

But why?

Reflecting on this, I think the answer lies in the fact that it’s challenging for many of us to rediscover the shoes in the first place, never mind try them on, and then embrace the discomfort of wearing them daily before the rubbing finally stops.?

Is it because we have all been conditioned in some way, rightly or wrongly, intended or not, to not to ask for too much, not to put ourselves out there, not to “blow our own trumpet” with sayings such as “self-praise is no honour” being ingrained in our minds for generations.

This got me thinking, why have we all been conditioned this way? To dim ourselves down, or act smaller, play it safe, and not step into our power because it's not the “done thing”.

Some may view boldness as intimidating or brash.

But delving further why is this? What is it that makes us feel uneasy or uncomfortable around someone bold??

Is it because seeing someone so bold makes us look at ourselves and question why we’re holding back in the first place? Is it because it feels like they are holding a mirror in front of us and forcing us to look inside ourselves? That feels uncomfortable. Vulnerable almost. So, is it sometimes easier to label other people as “scary” “forthright” “assertive” or sometimes even “aggressive” and dismiss them instead of looking inside ourselves??

Or is it because the people who have stepped into their power and are embracing their boldest selves are few and far between, so it's easier to hide among the masses and label them as “odd” instead?

Why does boldness make us feel so uncomfortable?

Why does boldness make us feel so uncomfortable, whether it's embodying it or being around it? Are we scared? Scared of what others will think? Scared of the consequences? Scared of standing out? If we were to stop running away from being our boldest selves and being around bold people, but instead run into it, what would change? Instead of viewing our future bold selves or others, as scary or intimidating, what if we could instead view them as someone we could learn from?

What if we asked them questions about how they managed to be this bold shining light in the world, despite the environment around them trying to keep their light dimmed?? What if we leaned in with curiosity, instead of running away in discomfort?

Wouldn't the world be a better place if we were all our boldest selves? So authentically raw and true? So authentically us!

Time to reflect.

When you think of the word bold, what does it mean to you?? To me, it means knowing who you are, what you want from life, how to get there, and acting upon it fearlessly and unapologetically. That is not to say that you can’t also be kind, thoughtful, loving, and fun while being bold, you can be all these things and more all at the same time.?

I guess the real questions for reflection are, what does bold mean to you? And how do you feel when you are around someone you class as 'bold'? How does it make you feel to be in their presence? Are you inspired? In awe? Intrigued? Curious? Intimidated? Or perhaps a mixture of all these emotions.

Understand what you feel and then ask yourself why. Because the way we feel is never about anyone else, but instead about ourselves. How do you feel? And what is this trying to teach you about yourself?

Embracing boldness

If you were to start being that bold version of yourself today, what would change? What would you say? What would you do? How would you act? And how would you speak??

And before you tell yourself a million reasons why you couldn’t possibly be that person (yes I’m pre-empting that here) ask yourself why not? What fears are standing in your way?

What impact would you have on the world if you were brave enough to first dig to the back of the wardrobe, find the new shoes, and try them on? What difference would it make to you, those closest to you, and everyone who you interact with?

We all know putting new shoes on at first can be uncomfortable. They hurt your toes, and they rub your heels, but after you’ve “broken them in” they feel much more comfortable, they almost feel like an extension of you. When you look down, you love walking in them and you love how they make you feel. You glow differently and are almost bouncing,?

Who would you be if you tried them on?

If you were to rediscover and try on your pair of 'bold' shoes today, who would you be??

While growth is always uncomfortable, sometimes a little initial discomfort is better for you than wearing the same outdated shoes forever. Be bold. Be you.