NOT BEING BELIEVED: THE THING THAT MAKES MOST MENTAL HEALTH TORMENT WORSE THAN IT NEEDS TO BE.

The core theme of my mental health campaigning is the reduction of suicide. And not being believed, or being dismissed as a 'snowflake' or worse, can set many people with mental health challenges on that path.

Victims of childhood abuse know all about the pain of not being believed (the person who abused them “can’t possibly have done that, he’s a police officer / priest / teacher / doctor / charity worker / Jimmy Saville”).???

Thankfully, informed people now know that abusers often seek out positions of trust and authority because it facilitates their criminal activity.

But the message still hasn’t been heard everywhere. I’m personally aware of one well-meaning charitable organisation that does a lot of work with children but won’t DBS-check members because “we all know each other”.?

The police officers, priests, teachers, health workers and celebrities who’ve been convicted of abusing children were also all ‘known’ to people who worked closely with them.?It didn’t prevent their abusive behaviour. It quite often helped to ensure that their victims weren’t believed for a long time. *

Victims of rape and sexual assault know all about not being believed (“your skirt was too short” / “you had too much to drink” / “your heels were too high” / “you had a lot of makeup on” / “you were flirty” / “your dress was too revealing” / “he bought you dinner” / “he’s famous”).???

People with learning disabilities know all about being patronised, which is often the same thing as being disbelieved (“you must have misunderstood”).?

Black people know all about assumed guilt, unconcious and institutional racism (“the black guy will have done it”), and the fact that White people may simply be more 'believable' to some police officers.

Domestic abusers have long traded on the impunity offered by our reluctance to believe their accusers.

Gay people are familiar with being ridiculed, stigmatised and marginalised, which reduces the assumed credibility of their word (thankfully, that particular issue is in sharp decline, largely due to assertive, collective, gay mobilisation, but it still exists).?

The vitriol directed against trans people is hard to comprehend (some people are apparently unable to differentiate between a person who is transgender and a rapist or child molester).??There are those who will simply will not believe that the term "transgender" is not interchangeable with "sex offender".

Neurodiverse people are becoming more open about their disabilities (neurodiversity is a disability, largely for administrative reasons, but not a mental illness; it's simply a different way of viewing the world). But so often, they're dismissed as people who "want to have an 'ism'".

Neurodiverse people are also becoming more articulate, organised and assertive in combatting the bigotry and discrimination they often face ... but they still face it.

And many people with mental health conditions are fully attuned to the stigma which attaches to them in the minds of some.

For the record, disproportionately large numbers of people in groups which are seen as minorities, or as in any way ‘different’, develop mental health conditions … largely because of the way society treats them.

Some (like transgender people) even have a significantly lower life expectancy; there’ll be many reasons for that, of course, but societal stigma is almost certainly a major factor.?

Yet instead of being outraged by this, and organising against it, we ask them to be “brave” and to reach out for help, in spite of the stigma.???

There are still those who will ridicule people with mental health problems, or with Autism (even the 'High Functioning Autism' more commonly seen in the workplace), perhaps because, in some cases, their behaviour seems eccentric, random, irrational, or amusing; or their words are unusual, direct, or unvarnished.??

If you don’t believe that, let me remind you that the celebrity Katy Price’s son, Harvey, has Autism and other disabilities – and two Metropolitan Police Officers were recently dismissed for mocking him in a WhatsApp group.

Being different, in almost any way, is an unforgivable offence, to some people.??

It is (apparently) threatening, scary, and deserving of contempt, or violence.?It is worthy of being stigmatised.??

It’s tempting to be so angry about this that you try to stigmatise the stigmatisers, and give them a taste of their own medicine.?

But that’s descending to their level.??

Let’s do something else, instead.?

Something more mature, and intelligent.?

Let’s not stigmatise anyone.?

Let’s be compassionate (but not patronising) to those who need it and helpful to those who’ve hit a rough patch.?

Let’s not be irrationally frightened of difference anymore.?

Let’s take what someone says seriously, even if they’re from a minority group, or look a little different.?

If we do that, it might help to improve everyone’s long-term mental health prognosis.

Hell, I don’t know.?

It’s just a thought.?

*A DBS check, even an Enhanced DBS check, isn’t fool proof. It essentially relates to known past behaviour, and it won’t pick up unreported previous offences.?But it’s something, and it’s a lot better than nothing.?