BEING AND BECOMING A GOOD LEADER

When were you first a leader? Was it as a child or young person, that you first felt what it feels like, what it means, to be a leader?

Many current leaders were leaders relatively early in their lives. In a youth organisation like the Scouts. Or in a youth group at church. Leading a team in local Cricket Club or Netball or Football Club. In some other sort of community organisation.

But according to Forbes contributor, leadership professor and much-published business journalist Eli Amdur, leadership begins on a personal level as we lead our own lives: We cannot lead others unless we first lead our own lives with some sense of order, perspective, connectedness, and purpose, Amdur asserts, in 20 Life (Not Business) Lessons For Leaders, in Forbes, Sep 14, 2024.) Leadership exists on three levels: personal, organisational, and global – and we achieve them in that order, Amdur writes, adding that this axiom has underpinned all his teaching (two graduate leadership courses over 15 years), and in leadership advisory work (corporate across 25 industries in 27 years).

We, one and all, he recounts, had to commit to understanding our own personal situations first, then that of others whom we chose to lead. It was not negotiable.

He offers 20 ‘lessons’ to live by – in no special order – that speak to the individual in a personal way and a spiritual sense.

There are no guarantees, Amdur cautions, but the more of these that are embedded in your personal life, the more likely you are to elevate yourself as well as those around you. The evidence is not empirical; he allows, but it is anecdotal. And irrefutable, he writes.

I have rephrased Amdur’s ‘lessons’ as questions – to provoke and encourage self-reflection on your part.?

1. Are you routinely interested in, fascinated by, and in awe of everything around you??– large and small – always? G. K. Chesterton said, We are perishing for lack of wonder, not for lack of wonders. If you let yourself be interested, fascinated, and awed, you will be become interesting, fascinating, and awesome. Don’t merely exist in the world. Live in it. Immerse yourself in it. Delight in it. Be fascinated and charmed by it. Don’t merely live life. Embrace it in all of its richness, challenge and joy.?
2. Are you willing to get out of your comfort zone??– and stay out of it? Whatever you believe in doing, go for it. Challenge yourself. Keep striving. As Amdur wryly admits, you’ll have plenty of time in your comfort zone after you die.
3. Do you habitually aim high??Michelangelo said, The danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it. Remember the old adage – it is better to have tried and failed, than never to have tried at all.
4. Are you ever tempted to give up? Thomas Edison said, Many of life’s failures are people who did not realise how close they were to success when they gave up. Edison never gave up on his countless attempts to invent a successful light bulb; he persevered until he succeeded.
5. Are you afraid to make decisions? All you can be is wrong, says Amdur. So what? In most cases, even wrong decisions are better than no decisions at all. And you learn from them. Mistakes, provided they are not too frequent, are splendid teachers. Indeed, humans learn far more from their failures than they do from their successes. This is a vital lesson for every child and young person to learn in your school.
6. Do you do things for others as much as you possibly can? And if you do this with no expectation of anything in return, you’ll be doing it for the right reason, Amdur asserts.
7. Do you strive to learn something new every day? From the Japanese concept of Kaizen, we learn that small daily improvements eventually result in large growth.
8. Do you work at excellence but simultaneously look for luck? Chance favours the prepared mind, said Louis Pasteur, one of history’s great achievers. He knew the relationship between the two.
9. Are you curious? More important than thinking you have all the answers is knowing you have the questions to ask to yield the answers. Albert Einstein’s mother did not ask the standard mother’s question as Albert arrived home from school each day. Mrs Einstein did not ask, What did you learn in school today? But rather, Did you ask any good questions in school today?
10. How daring are you? Albert Einstein himself said, Anyone who has never made a mistake has tried anything new. So stick your neck out. Be willing to take risks – with new ideas; new approaches; new strategies. If you fail, so be it, but at least you will have found what does not work.
11. Do you expect life to be fair? Are you fair to others anyway? Thank you, Mother Teresa, for that advice. And don’t forget George Bernard Shaw either – Life was not meant to be easy, but it was meant to be very enjoyable.
12. How often do you create something? Play music, take up art or sculpture, write an article, plant a garden, or learn to cook, Amdur recommends. There is nothing more exhilarating than creating something. Nothing! he adds.
13. Are you able and prepared to solve your own problems? Amdur rbluntly points out that nobody else will or even can.
14. Do you seek a reason to laugh and smile every day of your life? Then laugh and smile every day of your life. Leaders need a sense of humour! People who do are happier, more productive, and live longer, healthier lives, Amdur avers. And they make the world better.
15. Do you strive to keep educating yourself? Are you a life-long learner? You’ll fulfil yourself, enjoy yourself, and even like yourself more, or so Amdur says. Then find an opportunity to teach and mentor others. That’s when you figure out why you’re really on this planet. What better way to learn something than to teach it to someone else?
16. Do you intentionally practise gratitude? It’s not enough just to be grateful. Show it and, further, do things to deserve it. Practise random acts of kindness every day too.
17. Are you willing to resolve to be successful and happy, and do you strive to live a meaningful life? Great, but don’t confuse these three, Amdur cautions. They are entirely different things – and they’re in hierarchical order in this aphorism.
18. Do you routinely work ahead? One step taken in advance is longer than ten steps taken to catch up. Diligent personal planning ought to be part of every leader’s tool-kit. Anticipating challenges; positioning yourself to best advantage for difficult meetings. Be prepared – for anything and everything. Winging things is always risky – don’t be foolhardy about it. Plan.
19. Do you make time to slow down? To “unplug,” to look around, and to think? Time is precious, and we all need to use it more wisely, not necessarily more efficiently, all the time, Amdur counsels.
20. And finally, do you ever ask “What if?”?You should ask this a lot. And then test it. You’ll amaze yourself when you start answering this question, Amdur claims, adding, you see, the world is either an endless flow of possibilities or a limited choice between probabilities. It’s your decision.

Lists of personal qualities, characteristics, traits and ways of living like these of Amdur’s are always a bit twee, but what Amdur has gathered here is a list of prompts and provocations to some important self-reflective thinking you might do. Remember that Daniel Goleman viewed self-reflection leading to deeper self-awareness as the first step to developing high emotional intelligence. Make it part of your day!