Being Authentic
One very frequent theme we are hearing from our young adult and adult population is about being authentic.?
They feel they need to be more authentic, struggle with being so, feel it doesn’t go with what others expect and so on.
Most of these situations seem to arise when discussing relationships. But then since everything is a relationship, this applies everywhere?
COVID gave us the opportunity to physically mask up. Create actual barriers which, while necessary, showed us how desperate we are to tear it off and breathe free, even if penalized.?
We have psychologically masked up for millennia, so we are acceptable to the crowd, be one with them, feel safe in numbers.
Wearing a mask has been fun in the literal sense of Halloween parties at apartments, theatre and perhaps even liberating when we wear them to avoid being judged for flaws that we perhaps can’t control. Make-up, filters - all tools to help mask up.
In a while it's stifling. The inability to show our true emotions, to not be able to see another’s response to who we truly are gets exhausting. Keeping up a charade, even if it is a minor one gets tiring.
And then is the fear and stress of if the crowds that embraced us earlier will do so now. What if the mask wasn’t voluntary? what about the ones we put on for the sake of familial cordiality, or to blend in at the workplace.
A few simple steps that have helped our clients are:
1. Look at what you have been hiding.
Is it something that you don’t love about yourself, then start with self-acceptance. If it is sadness or anger, the starting point is to admit that this is the issue and start to get help for it. If it is a personality trait you’d like to change, explore how.
2. Take a solo vacation from your mask.
If it is makeup that you have armored up with, or a need to portray yourself differently, take time out by yourself. Go someplace new, drop the mask, and allow yourself to be you. Look at what the effects of that are. Perhaps not as bad as you thought they were.
3. Try taking off the mask in front of your close friends or close family.
These are people who love you in your entirety and are your safe space. You’d be surprised at the help you will get from them on your journey.?
Each of our clients was right when they spoke of a layer that they had put up. Life is better without that veil between us and our loved ones.
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Devi Mani,
Founder & CEO