"Behind the Mask: How Bullying is Disguised in Professional and Educational Environments"

By David Wongso S. Psi MM MBA MMin, CEO DexWellness, Founder of Fathering the Generations

Bullying in universities, schools, companies, institutions, or professions often gets masked under various guises that make it harder to identify, report, and address. This masking occurs when bullying behaviors are framed as something else—like "tough love," "initiation rites," or "harmless jokes."

Masking Bullying in Companies, Institutions and Professional Environments?

1.??????? Harsh Management Styles:

Some managers or supervisors disguise bullying as "tough management" or "strict leadership." This can involve public humiliation, constant criticism, micromanagement, or setting unrealistic expectations, all of which are justified under the guise of driving performance or maintaining discipline. This "results-oriented" approach often ignores the emotional and mental well-being of employees.

2.??????? Office Politics and Sabotage:

Bullying can also manifest as more covert actions like exclusion, gossip, undermining someone’s work, or withholding information. These behaviors are masked as part of "office politics" or normal professional competition, making it difficult to directly address the bullying behavior.

3.??????? "Testing Loyalty" or "Team Fit":

In some corporate cultures, bullying behaviors are rationalized as a way to "test loyalty" or see if someone "fits" the team. This might include setting people up to fail, giving impossible tasks, or subtly isolating individuals. The lack of direct confrontation allows these behaviors to be masked under seemingly legitimate business practices.

4.??????? Hierarchy and Seniority:

In institutions like hospitals, law firms, bullying can be disguised as part of the hierarchical system. Senior professionals may abuse their authority by mistreating juniors under the guise of "training" or "mentorship." The hierarchical structure often prevents victims from speaking up due to fear of retaliation or damaging their careers.

5.??????? Professional Critique or Peer Review:

In professions where peer review and critique are part of the culture, such as academia or journalism, bullying can be disguised as rigorous critique. When critiques are overly harsh, personal, or conducted in bad faith, they cross the line into bullying but are masked under the veneer of professional standards or quality control.

6.??????? "Rites of Passage" in High-Stress Professions:

In professions like law enforcement, firefighting, or medicine, bullying can be masked as part of a "rite of passage" that everyone must go through to prove their worth. This often involves asking for favors including money, hazing, public humiliation, or emotional abuse, which is framed as preparing individuals for the "tough realities" of the job.

General Tactics to Mask Bullying Across Settings

Minimization and Dismissal:

Bullies often downplay their behavior, describing it as “not a big deal” or “overreacting.” This trivialization can make victims doubt their experiences or feel invalidated when they speak up.

Normalization and Cultural Acceptance:

In environments where bullying behaviors are normalized as part of the culture, individuals may not even recognize their experiences as bullying. This normalization makes it harder to change behaviors or report incidents.

Lack of Clear Policies or Enforcement:

Many institutions lack clear anti-bullying policies or fail to enforce them effectively. This ambiguity allows bullying to be masked as a gray area where it becomes difficult to distinguish between what is acceptable behavior and what constitutes bullying.

Blame and Gaslighting:

Bullies may manipulate the situation to make the victim feel responsible for the bullying. This psychological manipulation, or gaslighting, can mask the bullying by shifting blame onto the victim and making them question their reality or responses.

Key Points

Bullying is masked in various settings—schools, universities, companies, and professions—by disguising it under seemingly legitimate practices like "training," "tough love," "competition," or "professional critique." This masking is often facilitated by a lack of clear policies, cultural normalization of harmful behaviors, and ambiguity about what constitutes bullying.?

Addressing bullying effectively requires clear definitions, strong policies, a cultural shift towards empathy and respect, and mechanisms that ensure victims are heard and supported. When bully happened in an uncontrollable setting, where any senior can intervene and involve in bully, the institution cannot control the damage.

?

Perception of Bullying Across Generations?

Bullying, whether in schools, universities, workplaces, or other institutions, is a pervasive issue that has been addressed differently across generations—Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z—owing to varying social norms, cultural shifts, and evolving understandings of mental health.?

1.??????? Gen X (born 1965-1980):

?Perception: Bullying was often seen as a normal part of growing up or as a "rite of passage" in schools and workplaces. Many from Gen X grew up in environments where "tough love" and "sink or swim" attitudes were prevalent.

?Response: Members of this generation might perceive bullying as something one should "tough out." There was less awareness of mental health implications, and speaking up against bullying was less common or even discouraged.

2.??????? Millennials (born 1981-1996):?

?Perception: Millennials were exposed to growing awareness around mental health, empathy, and the harmful effects of bullying. With the rise of the internet, they witnessed or experienced cyberbullying, leading to a more nuanced understanding of the issue.

?Response: This generation is more likely to advocate against bullying, support anti-bullying campaigns, and value environments that are psychologically safe. They are also more open to discussing mental health challenges and seeking support.

3. Gen Z (born 1997-2012):

?Perception: Gen Z is the most outspoken generation against bullying. Raised in an era of social media, they have seen the devastating effects of bullying, both online and offline. They are more aware of mental health issues and the importance of inclusivity and respect.

?Response: Gen Z is less tolerant of any form of bullying and advocates for mental health awareness, safe spaces, and anti-bullying policies. They tend to have a zero-tolerance stance on the issue and are more likely to call out and report bullying behaviors.

?

The Question of "Strengthening Mental Toughness" Through Bullying

The idea that bullying can be beneficial for "strengthening mental toughness" is a myth and a harmful one. Research in psychology and sociology shows that:

1.??????? Negative Psychological Impact:

Bullying can lead to severe psychological trauma, including anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and even suicidal ideation. The notion that enduring bullying makes someone stronger is flawed, as it overlooks the damage it can do to one's mental health.

2.??????? Hinders Personal Growth:

Rather than building resilience, bullying can lead to a fear-based mindset, impacting an individual's ability to trust others, build relationships, and feel safe in various environments.

3.??????? Promotes Toxic Environments:

Institutions that tolerate or use bullying as a means to "toughen up" individuals often create toxic cultures that reduce collaboration, trust, and overall well-being. This can lead to high turnover rates, reduced morale, and poor organizational performance.

4.??????? Healthy Alternatives to Build Mental Toughness: True mental toughness and resilience are built through positive reinforcement, supportive environments, constructive criticism, problem-solving, facing challenges, and learning from failures in a psychologically safe space.?

Key Points:

Bullying is widely perceived as detrimental by younger generations, who advocate for mental health awareness and supportive environments. The belief that bullying builds mental toughness is outdated and harmful. It overlooks the profound psychological and social damage bullying can cause, contradicting the principles of healthy, constructive development.

?

Reasons Why Bullying is Often Carried Out by Troublemakers

Bullying in campuses or civil institutions is often perpetrated by individuals who are not role models but rather troublemakers due to several psychological, social, and institutional factors. These individuals may use bullying as a tool to exert control, gain status, or express unresolved personal issues. Performing initiation (bully) where some seniors that are troublemaker can intervene without control and distort the objective, could create damage and cause legal consequences.

Here’s a breakdown of why this behavior occurs, focusing on psychological and sociological perspectives:

Psychological Factors:

Need for Power and Control:

Many bullies, especially those not seen as role models, have an underlying desire to exert power and control over others. This need can stem from insecurities, a lack of control in other areas of life, or deep-seated psychological issues. Bullying becomes a means to compensate for their perceived inadequacies.

Lack of Empathy and Emotional Regulation:

Troublemakers often exhibit lower levels of empathy and poor emotional regulation. They may struggle to understand or care about the feelings of others, making it easier for them to engage in bullying behaviors without guilt or remorse.

Past Trauma or Negative Experiences: Some bullies have histories of personal trauma, abuse, or negative experiences that they project onto others. Bullying becomes a coping mechanism, albeit a maladaptive one, to deal with their own pain by inflicting it on others.

?

Social and Cultural Dynamics:

Perceived Social Status and Reinforcement: In many campus or civil settings, individuals who engage in bullying might receive social reinforcement from peers who admire or fear them. This is especially true if the institution lacks a strong culture of accountability. Troublemakers might bully to create a fa?ade of strength, earning a skewed form of respect or notoriety.

Group Dynamics and Peer Pressure: Bullying behavior is often influenced by group dynamics, where individuals who might not act out on their own join in due to peer pressure or a desire to fit in. Troublemakers often have a following or a group that encourages or turns a blind eye to their behavior, reinforcing the cycle.

Negative Role Models and Institutional Culture: In institutions where leaders or prominent figures do not model positive behavior, or where a toxic culture is allowed to thrive, individuals are more likely to mimic negative behaviors. Troublemakers may emerge as prominent figures in such environments, perpetuating bullying behaviors.

Institutional and Environmental Factors:

Lack of Effective Policies and Consequences: When institutions lack clear anti-bullying policies, enforcement, or consequences for negative behavior, troublemakers may feel emboldened to bully others without fear of reprisal. The absence of accountability creates an environment where bullying can thrive.

Failure to Promote Positive Role Models: Institutions that fail to recognize or promote positive role models may inadvertently allow troublemakers to dominate social dynamics. When the focus is on maintaining status quo or avoiding conflict rather than cultivating a positive, inclusive culture, bullying behaviors are less likely to be addressed.

Misguided Attempts at Establishing Dominance or Initiation: In some civil or campus environments, there may be misguided beliefs that bullying or hazing can serve as a rite of passage or a way to establish dominance. Troublemakers exploit these beliefs to justify harmful behaviors, often without understanding the long-term psychological damage they inflict.

?

Psychosocial Factors and Identity Issues:

Low Self-Esteem and Insecurity: Individuals who bully often have low self-esteem and use bullying to mask their own insecurities. By belittling others, they attempt to elevate their own status or self-worth, albeit temporarily and in a harmful way.

Need for Validation and Attention: Troublemakers may engage in bullying to seek attention or validation that they are unable to attain through positive means. They often lack the social skills or emotional intelligence to form healthy relationships, turning to bullying as a way to feel significant or noticed.

?

Why Are Troublemakers More Likely to Bully?

Lack of Positive Influence and Guidance: Troublemakers are often not guided by positive role models or mentorship that would help them channel their need for attention or validation in constructive ways.

Propensity for Risk-Taking Behavior: Individuals prone to troublemaking tend to engage in risky or deviant behaviors, including bullying. They may have a higher tolerance for conflict or disregard for rules, making them more likely to bully others.

Unresolved Psychological Conflicts: Many troublemakers have unresolved psychological issues such as anger, resentment, or a history of being bullied themselves. This can lead to projecting these issues onto others through bullying behaviors.?

Key Points:

·????? Bullying by individuals who are not role models but troublemakers in campuses or civil institutions is often rooted in a complex mix of psychological insecurities, social dynamics, institutional failures, and a lack of empathy or emotional regulation.?

·????? Understanding these underlying reasons is crucial for developing effective interventions that focus on addressing the root causes, promoting positive role models, and fostering environments that do not tolerate harmful behaviors.

?