Behind the Links: Encounter with Mr. John SEO

Grab your popcorn, folks! Today, we’re diving headfirst into the bizarre world of SEO through my latest encounter on LinkedIn with someone who might just redefine the term “expert.” Meet Mr. John SEO (name changed by the editor)—yep, that’s the name he goes by. His profile tagline is a jumbled mess that promises white hat SEO tactics but ends up sounding more like a black hat comedy routine. So, let’s roll up our sleeves and get ready to chuckle as we unpack a conversation that’s less about link building and more about laugh building. Join me as we explore the wild side of SEO, where things are not always as they seem!

As soon as I responded to Mr. John SEO’s invitation to connect, I was immediately greeted with his pitch: "Actually we provide paid linking service through blog posts. I have many websites and blogs which have high traffic and good Alexa ranks. I help my clients to boost up their sites and provide blog posts service with dofollow back links via anchor links."

Curious, I pressed him on his methods, asking, "How is that White hat?" His response was as vague as it was unenlightening, simply regurgitating jargon: "Your guest post publication - linkbuilding." Clearly, we were not on the same page. I repeated my question, hoping for clarity, but again, no clear answer came.

Deciding to take a different tack, I asked him about the Alexa rank he had boasted about in his initial message, well aware that Alexa rankings were no longer publicly accessible. His reply—or lack thereof—would surely reveal the depth of his understanding, or confirm my suspicions of his credibility.

Undeterred by my skepticism, Mr. John SEO offered a textbook explanation as if reciting from an outdated manual: "Alexa rank is a global ranking system that ranks millions of websites in order of popularity. It’s calculated by looking at the estimated average daily unique visitors and number of pageviews for a given site over the past 3 months. The lower your Alexa rank, the more popular the website is."

I couldn’t help but chuckle. "Since December 8, 2021, there is no Alexa rank anymore available. Amazon stopped providing that service. Where do you get your Alexa rank from today?" I asked, fully aware that any response—or lack thereof—would be telling.

Despite the clear disconnect, I decided to give Mr. John SEO another chance to clarify his methods. "And could you please explain to me again, how buying backlinks from guest blogs is White Hat SEO?" I asked, hoping for a moment of enlightenment or at least an acknowledgment of the grey areas in his strategy.

His reply was a bewildering blend of outdated metrics and questionable practices: "When you buy good quality i.e. unique backlinks, your website's Alexa Rank will be good and due to this you will get more traffic and promote your website."

I could almost hear the record scratch. "There is no Alexa rank anymore!" I reminded him, frustration tinged with amusement. The irony of promoting 'White Hat' SEO strategies with techniques that blatantly disregarded Google’s guidelines was not lost on me.

Finally, after some back-and-forth, Mr. John SEO seemed to acknowledge the non-existence of the Alexa Rank with a simple "Ok." Sensing a sliver of progress, I decided to probe further, curious about the metrics he might cite next. "Do you need guest post publication? I can show you the website," he offered abruptly, dodging the essence of our discussion.

I decided to test the waters once more, asking about the Alexa rank for the website he was eager to show. Predictably, he sidestepped the question entirely. Instead of addressing my inquiry, he sent over a large list of domains. The screenshot he provided displayed a few obscure sites—none remotely close to having a noteworthy ranking, had Alexa Rank still been in existence.

It was becoming increasingly clear that Mr. John SEO was more interested in sticking to his scripted sales pitch than engaging in a meaningful conversation about SEO ethics or effectiveness.

Seeing that a logical conversation was off the table, I decided to play along with Mr. John SEO's script. Why not have a bit more fun with it? So, I threw him a straightforward curveball: "What would you consider a good Alexa Rank?"

It was a simple question, but given our track record, I was half-expecting him to circle back to his scripted pitch or dodge the question entirely. This was less about getting a real answer and more about seeing how he’d handle a direct query about a service he claimed to understand deeply, yet seemed fundamentally misinformed about.

To my surprise, Mr. John SEO did respond this time, albeit with an answer that only added another layer of comedy to our conversation. He confidently stated that a good Alexa Rank would be "8 to 7." Understanding how the Alexa Rank worked—it was a singular, unique number assigned to each website, with each rank distinctly held by only one site—the absurdity of his response was palpable. Was he suggesting he had access to websites that could, hypothetically, hold the 7th and 8th ranks globally? A claim that, in the realm of Alexa's operational days, would imply these sites were just steps behind giants like Google or Facebook.

Armed with this bewildering claim, I decided to push the envelope further. "So, can you provide access to websites with an Alexa Rank of 7 or 8? I’d love to see them," I asked, half-joking but fully curious to see how he would wiggle out of this corner.

In a twist that felt more like a bad joke, when I pressed Mr. John SEO if he genuinely offered websites with an Alexa Rank of 7 to 8, he retorted that it was my responsibility as a client to verify the metrics of his websites. This struck me as bizarre—akin to a car dealer asking me to figure out which of their cars were Porsches and which ones were electric. Is this what salesmanship had come down to?

Perplexed, I questioned how I was supposed to check the Alexa Rank, given that the service to do so had been discontinued over two years ago. His initial response was a dismissive reiteration that his websites had a good Alexa Rank. It was only after further prodding that he conceded, yes, he did have websites for guest blogging and backlinks that, in a hypothetical world where Alexa Ranks still existed, would be ranked 7 to 8.

Equipped with a new factoid courtesy of ChatGPT—that the last two websites to hold an Alexa Rank of 7 and 8 were giants Amazon.com and Baidu.com—I decided to confront Mr. John SEO with this insider knowledge. With a mix of sarcasm and curiosity, I asked if these were the two illustrious websites he claimed could host my guest posts for an Alexa Rank of 7 or 8. Without skipping a beat, he quoted a staggering $3000 USD for a guest post with a backlink.

Stunned yet skeptical, I demanded proof, expecting nothing short of a marvel. True to form, he sent me a link to a Baidu Baike article on "空间技术" (space technology). The audacity was almost admirable—this was one of Baidu’s most reputable entries, heavily liked and well-ranked. And yet, he expected me to believe he had managed to secure a guest post there. The irony? The only link in that entire entry was an ICP license link pointing to a Chinese government website. No trace of the promotional prowess he boasted about.

Giving Mr. John SEO one final opportunity to come clean, I pointedly asked him if he really was the mastermind behind the Baidu Baike post he claimed to have created. Against all odds, he didn't flinch, insisting he had indeed crafted the article. So, I laid out the facts for him, noting that the only external link in the article led to beian.gov.cn—a government website. I half-expected him to claim this government site as his client in a desperate bid to salvage his pitch.

Yet, his response took another turn towards the absurd. He simply stated, "His client didn't want a backlink." That was it. No elaborate justification, no further attempts to twist the narrative—just a flat, confounding reply that defied the very essence of purchasing guest posts for SEO purposes.

With the absurdity reaching its peak and patience wearing thin, I decided it was time to cut through the charade: "OK, let's get honest: you do not have knowledge of SEO, you promote White Hat SEO but you sell guest blogs with links, which is NOT White Hat at all, but officially against Google guidelines for webmasters, which makes it Black Hat. You are promoting your services with Alexa rank, which does not exist since 2 years. You are also a liar and you did NOT create the Baidu Baike entry for '空间技术' (space technology). Furthermore, there is no possibility to insert links into posts on baike.baidu.com that would be recognized as backlinks by Google. Anything that I forgot?"

Despite the clarity of my final statement, Mr. John SEO continued his pitch, unfazed, insisting he could meet any guest posting requirements I might dream up. When I questioned whether I should just disconnect and block him or report him for scamming, he feigned confusion. It was clear that no amount of reasoning would penetrate his scripted facade.

In the end, I chose not to report him. Instead, I disconnected, unfollowed, and blocked this would-be SEO guru. It was a surreal journey into the darker, more baffling corners of digital marketing—a stark reminder that not all who claim expertise are to be trusted.

The End