Behaviour Is Language

People's behaviour is language, and you better learn to understand it than to wonder why things happen. People talk to us all day, every day, and we are tone-deaf about it. Why? Because behaviours don't lie, and we hate the truth! Truth is harsh, but it is your best friend. It is a friend that tells you what you need to know so you can progress. It is your choice to listen or stay in the dark.

The behaviour of people tells you that spoken words will not. We have taught people to "be nice" and sugarcoat things or to say absolutely nothing. But behaviour rarely lies, especially in the long term. Here are the things it can tell you that words won't:

• The reason you are repeatedly overlooked for promotion is that they don't think, for whatever reason, that you are worthy of it. You are too fat, too ugly, too pretty, too smart, too competent, not so competent, too old, too young, too outspoken, too shy, don't fit the corporate picture of whatever, or just you are not as good as you think you are.
• Your partner is not spending enough time with you because he/she is just bored in your company or doesn't love you anymore.
• If you are a manager, leader, or organisation with high turnover, it might be telling you that you need to look in the mirror because people don't like experiencing you.
• If people don't tell you the truth, it is because they don't trust you or are scared of the consequences. The same applies in relationships, and the motive behind not saying anything is often self-serving.
• If people avoid you, ask why. There is a reason. Sometimes, it is your body odour, the dandruff on your clothes, your weird jokes, or you just don't fit in their world.
• If people don't invite you to a conference, it could be because they are intimidated by you and not because they dislike you.
• When incompetent people are hired, it might be because the boss's ego cannot handle competence and is being challenged.
• When people stay quiet in meetings, during decision-making, or during an argument, it is because they don't agree with what is happening but won't fight it. They checked out or don't think their effort will yield results. Silence is disagreement; remember that.

We see that everywhere every day. We see it with individuals and teams, corporate values and culture, policies and procedures. But we chose to ignore them and say, "Well, nobody told me/us." Well, they did you just did not listen.

Behaviour is language, and you better learn how to listen so you can move forward. The truth will always set you free, but you must have the courage to face it.

Books and videos to help you to think differently about corporate practices:

Watch here "Employee Loyalty is Misunderstood." and join me on YouTube: