Behaviors and Attitudes to Adapt or Dump Post Pandemic

I was watching the news the other night. The interviewer was asking a diverse group of individuals how they envisioned the future now pandemic restrictions have been lifted. People said a variety of things ranging from excitement to get back to the office and their colleagues, loving the fact they were continuing to work from home, happy to reduce Zoom time and so on. All very predictable. What caught my attention was a young man who was asked,?“What about getting back to normal?”?He quickly replied, “Get back to normal? Normal was Sh*t!” It was for many people before, during, and now after the crisis. For him, the new future was more promising than the new normal.

If we are now ready to rewrite expectations and goals, we will also need to examine what we learned over the last 18 months and then sort out the transferable from the useless or outdated.

Many of our behaviors and attitudes have been altered or changed completely.?Though our time in isolation had been long, it opened up rather quickly (at least in my state). I argue we need a pause. A time between then and tomorrow to look at options, assess what happened to us and others, and adjust.

Adapt or Dump?

Some questions and actions to help us decide whether to adapt or dump a pandemic behavior or attitude.

1. Acknowledge what happened.?Yes, you were in lockdown, worried about your safety, health, food shortages, and employment. Most of us were forced to work from home. We adapted new ways of communicating and getting the work done. We had limited or no contact with many of those we love. If someone told you that story, how would you hear it? I think I would say, “OMG! I can’t believe how well you coped.” Accepting the fact this was hard?frees us of the behaviors and attitudes requirement?to be strong, accommodating, and understanding. Been there, dump that.
2. Admit we found new ways of rewarding ourselves.?For many people, food (especially treats) and alcohol were ways of saying, “You did good today.” Some of us watched more Netflix than ever before. Others spent extra time connecting with friends and family, even people they had not contacted in years. The rewards were consoling, nourishing, and helped the loneliness. Our attitude? It was a hard time and we deserved something good. Unfortunately, many of us put on unwanted pounds, drank too much, and stayed up way too late watching just one more episode.?There needs to be some new, healthier, prizes.
3. Accept we were angry.?You are not the fighting, screaming, sulking type and there you were yelling at your partner, your kids, or complete strangers. Why couldn’t you get a vaccine appointment? How could Uniqlo be out of stock with your favorite sweatpants? Time to make amends with those you love and who tolerated your behavior. Look back and see how stressed you were in the moment and?forgive yourself. Enjoy those cooler leisure pants, give kisses and hugs in abundance.
4. Push emotions up, not down.?Denying we were sad, stressed, anxious, does not take the feelings away. That attitude and behavior only comes out as weird or inappropriate behavior and tends to linger.?You’re human, hopefully full of emotions. If debilitating feelings, unusual thoughts or actions continue, practice self-care, get the help of a professional.
5. People helped and failed you.?Oh yes, we were all happy with the people who stayed in contact, our boss who asked, “How you are doing?” before inquiring about if the project was finished, and the strangers who said a kind word. The other reality was some people did not meet the challenge. There is an opportunity to assess the long-term impact to you and your commitment to others. What did you learn about them? Did they demonstrate the values you hold dear? Would you expect them to show up if needed again? If the answer is “no,” maybe it is the time to reexamine the relationship(s). Cherish the people who were there for you, increase your interactions, tell them how you feel about your relationship and their contribution. With the disappointers it is not necessarily the end of the relationship but?a time to set boundaries, be grateful for what they do contribute, reduce your expectations, and see them as second place holders. A few of them probably should be dumped.
6. List your heroes.?It is amazing how many of us admire and for what reasons they get our attention. For some reason, the Kardashians come to mind. Then something big, like the pandemic, happens and?we could see real heroes. These are the people who put the lives of others ahead of themselves, gave innumerable hours and energy to strangers, and figured out how to feed every public-school kid three meals a day despite the fact students were not in school. Most make low wages, travel long distances to work, and their names will never be known, no less made into a cable TV show. We need to remember them. We must acknowledge these are quality people whose behaviors and attitudes having meaning and positive intent for others. Maybe we will aspire to become them.

Our behaviors and attitudes were forced or chosen during the last year-and-a-half.?Now we have the opportunity to reassess what worked, what was destructive, and what needs a rejiggering.?It has to do with body and mind health, personal and work relationships, plans for the future (and the timeline we now place on it), and who we want to be. It’s a unique time. We can take advantage of it.

Jane Cranston is an executive coach, career coach and management consultant based in New York City. She shares with success driven executives and professionals, techniques, skills and goal setting strategies that accelerates their career trajectory, increases people management skills, and assists them in career change or job transitions. Receive Jane’s free “Competitive Edge Report” and the free audio download “Creating a Career Strategy” by visiting?https://www.executivecoachny.com .