Endings & Beginnings

Growing up, I enjoyed holding onto memories and sentiments for the beauty of the emotion attached to them. Then, I reached to the present moment where I realized that looking back may give some sense of satisfaction but it does not give me the peaceful state I yearn to feel and keep. I like knowing that now is all I have and that there is no definite beginnings and endings in life — because somehow everything and everyone is a chain, we are all connected. I do not have to miss my past nor anticipate for my future because right now, I can create the energy that will transform my whole being.

This time last year, I was in a different reality. As the year closes, I hope we can recognize the beauty it has brought. Today, you are still here, possibly reading this article and still breathing. That is a small blessing that brings me a lot of joy, that I get another opportunity to experience love, feel my soul and heart throb, make a difference, talk to my loved ones, listen to my favourite songs, dance away and immerse in nature’s gifts — the earth’s softness, wind’s whispers, the night’s silence and the sun’s warmth. 

Since I have experience the bliss of the flow, I must remember to keep that close to my heart so when the right time comes, I am able to join in the dance without any hesitation. I miss my grandpa, who is definitely the simplest and most content man I have met in my life. He does not want nor need much and enjoys observing people and his environment with ease. I know he suffered a lot before his passing but he took it with grace, keeping his daily routine without any excuses and always remembered to take and return things to its proper place. He took care of his physical and mental state throughout the process, even though his weak body took over his mind at times. He would never miss the chance to ask us if we've eaten yet whenever we see him because his heart is that pure. He is and will always be known as a strong caring man — he later let down his guard and showed signs of help and appreciation. I love him so much and everyone around him can say the same. He lived a good life. When the time came to say goodbye, we were told that all his organs weakened but his heart was still healthy, our own hearts beamed hearing that. We will always miss him but we know that his energy & the impact he made here will stay.

Hello. Goodbye. Everything else in between birth and death is life.

Some may say that there are a couple of beginnings and endings in between though none of those are definite because everything is infinite, in my opinion. I believe in energy and how it impacts not just my own life but also the people around me. Everything between point A and point B are ebbs and flow, chapters and series with relative stories and perspectives. I get to translate them in my own reality. I get to choose the tone I use to read them to myself and in my interactions. What is my story? 

Whenever I finish reading a book or watching a movie/series, I always leave with a glitter of imagination of what could happen next — sometimes, even the frustration of how it ended so abruptly. That shares the sentiment that those endings could flow into any path and storyline. What I saw was only a part of that story. How about how that story began? I am sure that there is a prequel and that prequel had a prequel too. 

We are always connected to our past but that does not dictate our future if we are aware of this present moment because being self-aware allows us to understand the power we hold in being in tuned with ourselves and making decisions. 

How we react to the situation we are right now impacts our future. How we show up for ourselves right now affects our future realities. How we show up for our loved ones right now impacts our future relationships. How we perceive our current circumstance affects our future story.

Yes, COVID sucks. Many things went wrong this year but so did the previous years. The pandemic brought a magnifying glass in our realities that forced us to deal with our truths — yes, I know it can be painful to see all the imperfections, mistakes, failures, and could-have’s. Without them, I am certain that I would not be able to see with clarity my strengths, blessings, passions and truth. I do not believe in beginnings and endings, only a beginning and an ending - singular vs the plural, because I do not want to forget what made me the person who I am seeing at this very moment.

I believe that my life and reality is evolutionary, transformative and dynamic. 

I am blessed to have the opportunity to direct myself to many places and meet really wonderful human beings who can share their stories that have added some colour in my lenses of perception. 

Thank you, universe for giving me a beginning — the opportunity to take risks, live adventures, and feel the power of the soul and emotions.

And to my ending. I appreciate and accept the idea because without it, I would probably not see the true value of each moment that passes by. I am still learning to continue feeling this abundance that the world offers. 

And to everything in between, they are all beautiful. Thank you for letting me experience the push and pull - the gains and losses but mostly, the significance of learning to take each breath with so much joy for my existence, to not hold back on loving the people I hold dear and to laugh at myself from time to time because hey, life is short!