Beginning with the End in Mind

I love to discover new books. But I love it even more when an old book finds me.

Recently, Reid Prichett, Ph.D. , a lifelong friend of mine, joined FranklinCovey as a Leader in Me Coach, working with school leaders to deliver their K-12 leadership curriculum. It’s an awesome fit for him, and I’m so excited about the next step of his career journey.

In hearing Reid’s news, I thought it was time to rediscover the magic of one of the best books I’ve ever read: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. I read it about a decade ago, and after just re-reading two chapters, it’s even better than I remembered!

I’m not going to attempt to capture the lessons of this entire book in one piece; that might take a year’s worth of writing. So given my focus on the topic of focus this month, I wanted to share a few gems from Chapter 2: Begin With the End in Mind.

Here are three questions I have my I’ve been asking myself after reading this chapter. If you’re looking for greater clarity on what’s important in life, I challenge you to ask yourself these three questions too.

Question One: Are you Managing Your Life, or Leading Your Life?

Last week, I had one of “those weeks.” You know the ones I’m talking about – where you grind through a lot of items, but you feel disconnected from the mission. I was really busy, as the days were packed - and at the same time, I was really frustrated. There were a lot of urgent fires to put out, and it was draining. It’s not the kind of week I enjoy having, and reading this chapter helped me highlight how this week could have been handled differently.

Getting things checked off the to-do list is nice. But if that is all you do, if you’re not careful, you can spend days, weeks, months, years, or a lifetime hammering through punch-list items, and you may not be focusing on what is important. You can spin your wheels handling hot-button items, but you may not be focused on what is essential.

Reading this chapter helped me remember a key truth: management without leadership is folly. A particular quote hit me square in the eyes: “Effective management without effective leadership is like straightening deck chairs on the Titanic.”?

This quote reminded me that filling your days doesn’t mean you are creating impact. Without the vision of why you are doing what you are doing, the rest is noise. The next time I have a week where a lot of unexpected scenarios pop up, I’ll be looking at them through a clearer lens.

Question Two: Are You Winning the Battle, or Winning the War?

Each day, all of us face challenges. The question is, are we dealing with them in a way that is in alignment with the big picture, or are we solving a short-term problem only to create a long-term one?

This one hit home for me from the parenting perspective. As my twin daughters approach thirteen, there has definitely been more friction in the house than I care to admit. I know this is developmentally appropriate, but at the same time, it can test my patience and will.

When the daily mini-crisis erupts, there are two options for me as a parent: impose my will and squash it, or work for a more constructive solution. To accomplish the former, I can simply raise my voice louder, or choose another tactic to overpower my daughters. This way, I can win the battle.

In choosing that path, what am I really modeling? The loudest voice wins? Might makes right? To me, the better path is to be present and patient. This allows me the chance to authentically work out the best way to approach these situations by coming from a clear place. Sometimes, that solution means seeking to understand and showing empathy. Other times, the choice will be having the discipline to stay in the corner and let the girls work it out on their own. “Winning the war” to me means modeling respectful communication and productive problem-solving as opposed to being the snow-plow parent who cleans up all the messes.

When we encounter these problems, each of us have our own style of how we handle them. The prescription the book offers is to stop and consider your approach from this perspective: reflect on what script you are running, and whether it is time for a new script. Of course, while I used parenting as a domain, the same could apply for business, marriage, friendship, or any other arena.

Question Three: What’s at the Center?

This one really got my wheels turning…

Every day, we all make decisions. But have you ever given much thought to HOW you make those decisions?

It’s not a conscious part of our process to consider what drives each of our choices – but nonetheless, there are reasons behind our decisions. We may make decisions based on spouses, employers, money, friends, church, and other factors. While that makes logical sense, Covey challenges us to see that all of those drivers, while meaningful, are external. They are outside of who you are.

Covey prompts the reader to look internal. By leading with values, you can help guide your decisions so that your wisdom, security, power, and guidance are governed by timeless principles as opposed to transitory factors.

How does a person know what their values are? Pull a Jerry Maguire. Find some quiet time, and develop your own Mission Statement. Once you do this exercise and articulate what you stand for, you have a foundation for your decisions, and can apply them in the various roles you play in life.

After reading this chapter, I’ve got some work to do to answer these three questions. It’s time to double down on personal leadership and to recraft my mission statement.

Thank you, Stephen Covey, for the gift of this incredible book. Your legacy truly endures - not only through this great text, but in the seeds of leadership that FranklinCovey is planting, building the next generation of leaders to come! ???