A Beginner’s Guide to Riding Waves (and Life)

Originally published in Mar 5, 2017. Note to the revised Edition:

Lately, I’ve found myself in a season of firsts—again.

I’m settling down in Jersey, owning land for the first time, and adapting to a deeply American way of life. For someone who once found home in constant movement, this is, ironically, my biggest cultural shock yet. I miss the rich, multicultural vibrancy of Southeast Asia and NYC—the colors, the energy, the diversity—yet I know this is exactly where I’m meant to be.

I’m also building something new within Timeleft—starting from scratch, uncovering what we didn’t even know we didn’t know.

And amidst all this, I’m navigating the most profound first of all: being a mom.

Perhaps that’s why I’ve been drawn to surfing again. The ocean, like life right now, demands presence. It humbles you. It forces you to embrace the unknown. And, most importantly, it reminds you that every wave—every challenge—is just another chance to learn.

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Making Decisions with Your Body

Engaging in physical activities offers a clearer understanding of how emotions influence your actions. I’ve learned the most about myself through movement—snowboarding, tango, rappelling, and, more recently, wakeboarding and surfing.

Each activity brings unique lessons, many of which parallel professional and personal growth. Here are a few insights I’ve gained from different activities:

• Snowboarding: Fear paralyzes me, keeping me from executing ideas;
• Wakeboarding: I learn best when given a vision rather than step-by-step instructions (tell me where to look, not how to move my legs);
• Muay Thai: Assertiveness is crucial. I used to hesitate before throwing a punch and even apologized if I made contact. But in a real fight—just like in leadership—decisiveness matters.

These lessons translate directly to life.

Fear, for example, shows up everywhere. Whether standing on a mountain slope or facing a tough client negotiation, the feeling is the same. But physical fear—like falling from a 10m waterfall—feels more tangible than the fear of rejection.

Daily fears are subtle: they creep in when we hesitate to make that phone call, confront a difficult conversation, or ship an imperfect product.

Yet, physical experiences make these fears visible. Your body reacts, your breath shortens, your muscles tense. Understanding these responses in sports makes them easier to manage in other aspects of life.

One More Wave: Cultivating a Beginner’s Mindset

Lately, I’ve been learning to surf. What fascinates me most isn’t just the sport itself but the clarity that comes with being a beginner.

On my first day, I was surprisingly successful—I stood on the board almost immediately. But that wasn’t the real achievement. What made the difference was my beginner’s mindset:

• Zero expectations about my performance (I felt free to fail).
• Complete presence and focus on the moment.
• Total humility and openness to learning.

But then came the second session, and things didn’t go as well.

I rented a board, went out alone, and unknowingly carried something extra—expectations. Since I had done well in the morning, I assumed I should perform the same way. But the sea had changed. It was rougher. I was less prepared. And I got frustrated. Crossing waves to find the right spot is no small feat. And then come the waves themselves—the very reason you're here, yet daunting if you're out of position. When they roll in relentlessly, giving you no time to recover, it feels a lot like life: challenges rarely arrive one at a time.

At one point, my mind raced: "Holy sh*t! OK, turn, paddle, stand up—wait, is my bikini in place? Forget that guy looking. Watch the wave—paddle faster!"

That absolutely did not help.

I realized something crucial: I get anxious, and that doesn’t serve me.

The sea magnifies emotions. Unlike in daily life, where anxiety hides beneath layers of rationalization, the ocean makes it crystal clear: short breath, tense muscles, erratic movement. But that clarity also presents an opportunity—if I can manage my anxiety in the water, I can manage it anywhere.

And so, I brought myself back to my beginner’s mindset.

TL;DR: A Beginner’s Guide to Riding Waves (and Life)

1. Smile, breathe, go. "Great things are achieved by an anxious mind," said no one ever. My instructor told me to smile before catching a wave. I resisted, but when I finally did (even awkwardly), my body relaxed. And I caught the wave.
2. Be patient and save energy. Fighting the ocean gets you nowhere. Picking the right wave does. The same applies to life—know when to push and when to wait.
3. One more wave. Whatever happens, keep going. The next wave might not be perfect, but you won’t know unless you take it. Wave after wave, you improve. And before you know it, you’re cruising—fully present, effortlessly riding the moment, and having the time of your life.

What’s Next?

After Bali, I went to Cherating, chasing better waves. And this love story with the ocean continues.

Until then, I leave you with this note (from my journal) on my fifth day of surfing:

"Soft is nice. Wait for the next wave, smoothly turn around, look back once, paddle, faster, breathe, stand up—ready, go!"

Satu ombak lagi!

One more wave, and then rest. Tomorrow’s a new day. ??

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