A beginner’s guide to relaxing

Making an effort to relax might sound counterintuitive but it’s vital to your emotional and physical wellbeing. Professional Head of Emotional Wellbeing Brendan Street gives a few techniques to help your unwind before you unravel.

Roll with it

Stress will trigger the same physical reaction in your body as sensing danger. Your heart rate increases, adrenaline is released, and the body tenses up. Your muscles tighten up to get you ready for action, and to form a solid layer of protection for your vital organs. Your body literally goes into defensive mode.

When your body prepares for fight or flight, you can end up hunched and tense without realising it. If you notice yourself doing this, you can consciously relax your shoulders and upper body. Try pulling your core muscles in towards your spine, sit up straight, and roll your shoulders deeply. If that doesn’t feel comfortable, try pulling your shoulders tightly up to your ears for a couple of seconds and then suddenly release them.

You can also try gently and slowly leaning your head from side to side – breathe regularly whole doing so. Releasing tension in your body will signal to your brain that you’re not about to do battle. You should then begin to feel calmer. Repeat as necessary.

Breathe in, breathe out

When your body prepares to either fight or flee, stress can cause your breathing to become shallow or irregular. This can make you feel more anxious, but you can make a conscious choice to shut that down.

Stop what you’re doing, and take deep, slow breaths. Breathe in for five beats, and out for five. Some people also find it helpful to close their eyes, so they can focus on their breathing without distraction. You might also like to try listening to relaxing songs, or a guided mindfulness body scan.

Or, you can use this octagonal breathing technique to control the pace of your breathing. Breathe in as the shapes expand, and out as they fold away.

Allow your chest to expand and your belly to rise as your lungs fill with air. At the end of the exhale, try making a “shh” sound to squeeze the last pockets of air out. Do this four or five times, and see how you feel. If you can, try to remove yourself from the stressful situation while you do this.

Carry some calm with you

It’s possible to train your body to associate a particular scent with the feeling of being relaxed.

We don’t always have the time to practice a full meditation or mindfulness exercise, but smell is a powerful tool for evoking memories and feelings. These sensory queues can help you to stay centred.

When you’re in the bath, reading a book, unwinding before bed or having a massage, try using something scented. This could perhaps be a perfume, candle or defuser. When you need to re-centre and calm yourself, use a hand cream or perfumed oil with the same scent. This can stimulate the part of your brain that remembers being calm, and it will help to relax you.

Talk to a therapist

If you’re really struggling, sometimes it can help to talk. While there used to be a stigma around seeing a therapist, it’s much more common than you might think, and the value of it is more understood and accepted than ever. It’s now possible to meet with qualified professionals in person, over zoom on the phone, or whatever medium works best for you and your schedule.

A therapist will help you to understand why you feel the way you do. They’ll give you time to explore your concerns and answer any questions.? If further therapy is required, they will discuss with you what approach is right for you to enable you to feel better.

Emotional wellbeing | Nuffield Health