Begin with the end in mind

It works miracles

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Savita is the mother to Anirudh, an 18-year-old. She works as an Admin Assistant in a local NGO which supports the education of children from disadvantaged communities. They had set up learning centres in remote locations where children had no access to school.

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Savita valued compassion and wanted her son to be a compassionate person. Right from his younger days, Anirudh along with his mom would visit the sites where the NGO carried out its work with children.

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As Anirudh visited the sites, he interacted with the children and felt compelled to teach them in his spare time. Savita was quite pleased with the results of her efforts over the years. She felt proud seeing Anirudh interacting well with the children. He was doing very well at school and had committed to do voluntary work with the NGO?over the long term. “Having a son who is kind and compassionate is truly a gift,” thought Savita.

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Have you visualised a grown up in the place of the child who now stands before you? As parents, we are usually so caught up in the present moment that we seldom reflect that all the ordinary moments of the present are what builds our child into the person of the future. The grown-up version of your child will be deeply influenced by all the experiences he/she goes through. We can guide the experiences our teen has and the meaning they give to it.

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What kind of a grown-up would you like to have around you? Close your eyes for a moment and visualise your child ten years from now. You are conversing with an adult; you feel proud and grateful for who he/she has become.?They have qualities you are proud of. ?Some of these qualities could be:

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·????? Responsible

·????? Honest

·????? Compassionate

·????? Caring

·????? Reliable

·????? Resilient

·????? Adaptable

·????? Respectful

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If you think of ‘Responsible,’ ask yourself, ‘What are some of the steps I can take to make my child responsible?’

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I will need to help my child develop the quality of being responsible. I can support him/her with carrying out some responsibilities. I could look at being a role model as a responsible parent.

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To develop responsible children, we can guide them to be responsible in their?studies, managing time, managing the money we entrust them with, planning and management of daily tasks. Thus, an appropriate development and management of emotions, behaviour thought and attention to detail must be encouraged in them effectively. However, the development of qualities in our children should be done gently without the child feeling pressured in any way.

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We saw the example of Anirudh where his mother’s actions helped him become more compassionate. It is also about being a role model for your child in whichever quality we wish to instil in them. If you want your child to be compassionate, as parents, we need to model compassion. This is what Savita showed her son through her everyday interactions.

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It should be noted that the activities you involve your child in should be natural and not forced. Your teenager should want to participate in?these community and civic activities and see it?as very normal.

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In Steven Covey’s Book, The Seven Habits of Effective People, the second habit is: Begin with the end in mind. He explains it as starting with a clear understanding of your destination. It is all about knowing where you are going, so that the steps you take are always in the right direction.

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What kind of picture do you see ten years from now for your child?

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Parenting resources:

ABC of Parenting deals with supporting the mental and emotional health of children: https://amzn.eu/d/0bGsbQd

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?Parenteening Made Simple deals with the seven principles of positive parenting and is a great resource for preparing for the adolescent years: https://amzn.eu/d/5VSi7dz

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**For free additional resources on parenting, visit the website: https://teensgen.com/

Picture Credit: Freepik.com