Begin with the End in Mind

By John Smith

From Habit 2 of Stephen Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (read it in early 2000s).  

Imagine a funeral. All the seats are filled with a blur of people dressed in black. Sniffles can be heard, and shiny, tear-soaked cheeks dot the room.

Soft organ music plays in the background.

A casket sits at the front of the room. Flowers surround it.

A man steps up to the podium to deliver the eulogy. He’s got a handkerchief in his hand, just in case he gets teary-eyed.

He opens his mouth to speak . . .

Now I want you to imagine that the body in that casket is your dead carcass.

Welcome to your funeral.

The undistinguished people that you imagined in the funeral home should now be morphing into people you know. Who do you see? Who’s at your funeral? More insightful question, who’s not at your funeral? Is it a packed house or are there only a few people there?

Take a look at the guy giving your eulogy.

Let’s see what he has to say about you.

What do you hear? What do you imagine him saying?

This is what Covey means by “Begin with the End in Mind.” The END. Death.

Why does Covey want you vividly imagining your death and funeral? 

Because it distills what you ultimately value in life — or at least what you want to value — and what you hope it all adds up to in the end. 

Résumé Virtues Vs. Eulogy Virtues

“The résumé virtues are the ones you list on your résumé, the skills that you bring to the job market and that contribute to external success.

The eulogy virtues are deeper. They’re the virtues that get talked about at your funeral, the ones that exist at the core of your being—whether you are kind, brave, honest or faithful; what kind of relationships you formed.”

When you imagined someone giving your eulogy, did you imagine him talking about your résumé virtues? Did he talk about how much money you made? Your job titles? How big your house was? How many cars you owned? That you not once, not twice, but three times had a clever tweet go viral? That you had thousands of Instagram followers?

If you’re like most decent human beings, that’s probably not what you pictured. You probably imagined him talking up your eulogy virtues.

You likely imagined him talking about your character and your relationships. The kind of husband, father, and friend you were. How hard you worked to give your kids not only a good life, but a sense of purpose and a sound moral compass. How you still did little romantic gestures for your wife, even though you’d been hitched for decades. How you’d give the shirt off your back to your buddies. You probably imagined him sharing stories both funny and sad that highlighted your integrity, kindness, and curiosity. The effect you had on the lives of others.

Live your life, working towards the eulogy you’d want to hear.