Before You Judge Another ...

... Consider the impact on the inner peace of your soul.

Yeah, it’s so easy to do. Sometimes I find myself judging someone without even being conscious of it. I form opinions, yet I don’t even know the person.

We all do it.

Famous people have it the worst, actors, singers, politicians, and others in the public arena. They don’t just get judged via someone’s unconscious thought processes. They get judged through abusive online vitriol.

And if it’s not bad enough to judge people you don’t know, then consider the impact your judgment has when you inflict it on people you do know, like friends or family.

So, what makes us judge another?

Carl Jung summed it up perfectly:

“Thinking is difficult, that’s why most people judge.”

Judging others is the easy option. It requires very little brain power. You don’t need to expend mental energy making informed decisions, forming analyses, evaluating, or reasoning about everyone you encounter.

To open your mind and think profoundly consumes a lot more effort than to form a mindless, superficial, quick judgment.

Judging allows your ego to assert you as Top Dog in your self-perceived hierarchy. “Look at what she’s wearing.” “What is that haircut all about?” “He’s not as good as me.” When you express a judgment towards another, you are positioning yourself above them — I’m better than you.

It’s easy to express judgment to boost your self-esteem. This can often occur in groups (think High School or the workplace). What better way to be accepted by the cool gang than to lay criticism or snide comments on someone outside of the group?

For some people, judging provides a welcome respite from ongoing self-criticism. Instead of getting stuck into yourself, you give yourself a break, deflecting that negativity towards someone else.

On a more serious note, sometimes judging others stems from childhood trauma. It can be a learned defense response to creating a safe barrier between yourself and others.

Now, consider this for a moment

Imagine meeting everyone who crosses your path (in the real world and online) with loving kindness.

There is so much deep peace on offer if you can step up to the challenge.

You never know another person. You don’t know what they have lived through, what they have experienced, and how each experience has impacted their expression of who they are. You don’t know their hurt and pain.

They are, in fact, no different than you.

You are them, and they are you.

If you believe in God, then surely you believe God created each of us in God’s image. Therefore you are everyone, and everyone is you.

If you believe in Spirit or your Higher Self, then you believe that you are a beam of energy that comes straight out of the main Source and connects everyone together.

Perhaps you don’t believe any of that. That’s OK too.

I encourage you to step into your greatness and extend a warm hand to everyone you encounter, regardless of your belief system.

I will finish with a quote by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Dietrich was a German theologian, Lutheran pastor and anti-Nazi dissident. He died well before his time, aged 39, in a German concentration camp:

“Judging others makes us blind, whereas love is illuminating. By judging others we blind ourselves to our own evil, and to the Grace, which others are just as entitled to as we are.”

Let’s make a pact to stop and replace those judgmental thoughts with understanding and love.

Silva x

Being Excellence - Coaching and Consulting for Ethical Businesses

P.S. Have you ever been on the receiving end someone else’s judgements? How did it make you feel?

If trauma has played a significant role in your life, and you find yourself struggling mentally, I encourage you to speak to a doctor or therapist to find a way to release the negative pressure.

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