Before searching for soulmates search for your soul

The people who are very close to me, or the people who follow me know my addiction to the “Eat, Pray, Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert. It is like 5 years the story is a center of my life. Whenever I am in depression or whenever I am feeling a bit down the story or movie comes to my aid. I feel that it has an answer to all my questions. Every time, in every situation of my life I find new sentences, which echoes like the sound of my higher self, being for me a lighthouse, a direction. Actually, I was thinking that I have gone through a soul-searching journey and it was time for me to find a soulmate. Actually, I bought tickets to Bali. But, fate has its own surprises.

Yesterday, in one of my days being blue and down I did not  go for routine. Somehow, I ended up with Oprah’s show SuperSoul Sunday where the guest is Elizabeth Gilbert. For my surprise, until now I was unaware that my hero Liz divorced with Felipe, who were my lighthouse all of these years. She declared that she was in love with her girlfriend. All of these years I tried to believe to love and existence of forevers by holding to this story. I wanted to believe with all of my heart that true soulmates exist. That we are all destined to meet our other half one day.  

You know, we are the generation who were born and raised with sweet pinky stories. We are the princes and princesses who were raised to believe in the existence of forevers, in the existence of the only Ones. That one day, we will meet them and ever since that time everything will be perfect.  We were raised to be perfect, to take promises, to stick to certain values for our whole life. And the ones who were out of these values were judged, were ostracized by us. We are not soul seekers; we are the soulmate seekers. All the time looking for someone to come and to affirm our perfectness, our greatness.  As we have to be perfect we are afraid to be in alignment with our emotions. As being emotional is weakness for the world we live in, and even some call it drama.

But, we cannot forget that we are human beings. And the life does not look like to Disney stories or books. It’s life. And it’s more complicated than our values, beliefs or stigmas. We have feelings, we have emotions and they are as real as our existence. And life... Life is more complicated than we even can imagine. We always can hope to have something, but we don’t know what life will bring us. From my experience, it turns out that it does not matter what you want, life only brings us the experiences that we need. To hurt us, to make us happy, to break us, to heal us and finally bring us closer to our soul, day by day, step by step, tear by tear, smile by smile. And we have our own unique roads leading us to our souls.

In my road, I had many wow times. At first, it started reading Osho the book of Golden Flower. In these 7 years, I was not able to finish this book, cause in every sentence I have a wow moment. I cannot take more than one page a day. Cause every sentence is full of meaning for me. The other wow moments happened when I read Sidharta and most of the wow moments happened in India. All of these experiences are very intimate to me, cause they are the new steps of my spiritual journey. But, I would like to talk about my last wow moment, which happened yesterday and put all the stones to the places in my brain.

When after that amazing story with Felipe Liz was talking about her love to her friend, all of the questions in my mind have found their answers. Yes. It is that. There are no forevers. There just moments in life, to be savored, to be cherished and to be lived fully. And there is not such a thing good or bad, right or wrong. Everything has some kind of reason behind it. We are all dealing with our own demons and we are all here to go through these all together. Our life is like a puzzle and every person, every situation has a role in putting these puzzles together. We most of the time keep grudges to people who were not able to keep their promises. And sometimes we even hurt ourselves for not being able to keep our promises. We think that the feelings we and the people around us have today must not change, it must be stable, it must be forever.  But forevers do not exist. All of the people we had in our lives, all of the experiences we had all lead us to one more piece of the puzzle of our soul. We come together, we give some lessons to each other and then we evolve. It is not that when that people or we gave promises we were lying, it is just that we change. And when it’s time to let go, we have to let go.

Again coming to Elizabeth Gilbert and my wow time. Yes, she was in the state where one can be so close to their own soul. She was not keeping herself responsible for the promises she made. Most of the time to keep our promises we betray our own soul. And if someone else cannot take promises we feel betrayed. However, if we just could try to understand our soul as much as we are trying to reach our soulmates, we could be more satisfied and harmonious. Yes, at a time to make a sense how that piece adds up to the whole puzzle  can be difficult, but by time we see it more clearly. As they say, “The sun is always there, it’s your clouds that makes it not to be seen.”

Coming to an end, today I firmly believe that the most incredible journey and the most incredible relationship is the one we have with our soul. Before having any type of beliefs, values or imaginations of life we can connect to our soul. And we must not be disappointed if our beliefs and values change. It means we are evolving. Cause only after connecting our soul, only after being rooted so deeply in ourselves we can enjoy what we have at a given moment. Cause we will know that the source of joy is within us, not in others, not in situations, not in circumstances. And after that time we will feel like a water. Smooth, transparent from which the people, the situations will come and go, just with a flow, without attachment, without any hurt. And the first step leading to your soul is always saying truth to yourself. If you are sad, if something is not right just accept it. Do not lie to yourself about how you feel, cause this is the place where your power resides. And if one day, you will reach that power, this will be your wow time. The step to a new beginnings, where the clouds will start to fade, where you will start to see the beams of the sunshine, where your heart will be full of mercy and compassion to yourself and to every living being. Cause we are all human beings, and we have our demons to fight.  

Search your souls and in this search, you will meet soulmate, maybe soulmates. But, none of them will complete you, cause you are complete, and a masterpiece with such a unique power within. Stay blessed and be love.

P.S. I would like to send my deepest gratefulness and appreciation who were a part of my soul journey and who still are. Thank you for being there, thanks for the ones who cheered me up, who broke me, who disappointed me and who left me behind. I forgive you and set you free. And to the ones whom I disappointed, broke and left behind, I hope I was also able to be a piece in your puzzle. And hoping for your mercy and forgiveness.