Before Moving a Parent in With You, Consider These Nine Areas

Considering a multigenerational living situation? While it can be a family bonding experience, it’s important to realize that both generations have established ways of doing things and personalities and lifestyles have evolved. No matter how close and loving your relationship may be, adding another person to the household changes the dynamics for the entire family. Here are eight areas to consider before you move a parent to live with you.

First, determine if your parent(s) wants to move in with you.

1.?????? Are they resistant to making a move citing their independence and privacy?

2.?????? Will taking them away from their communities make them happier or more miserable?

3.?????? Can they be safe and stay where they are?

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Second, decide if YOU can really live with your parent(s).

1.?????? What has your relationship with them been over the years?

2.?????? If you had a difficult relationship with your parents, is caring for them realistic?

3.?????? Do they have any habits, such as smoking or drinking, that violate rules and boundaries?

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Third, consider space restrictions.

1.?????? What about current/future modifications to accommodate a walker or other equipment?

2.?????? Can you share common spaces and/or do you want to share them?

3.?????? Do you or they have pets and/or does someone have allergies [to pet]?

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Fourth, determine what to do with their possessions.

1.?????? Where will personal belongings be stored?

2.?????? Are they willing to downsize or sell unneeded items?

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Fifth, explore varying interests in entertainment.

1.?????? Are your parents OK alone so you can have a life?

2.?????? How does your spouse feel about it? Your children?

3.?????? What if you want to take a family vacation? Can you?

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Sixth, assign responsibilities.

1.?????? Are your parents able to participate in household chores?

2.?????? Are there household rules to follow that are important to you?

3.?????? Are they safe using appliances?

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Seventh, determine expenses.

1.?????? Will your parents pay rent or contribute financially with expenses?

2.?????? Will you keep separate accounts?

3.?????? How do other siblings feel about this arrangement?

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Eighth, decide the roles of childcare and child rearing.

1.?????? Is it clear that you are the parent and make the rules?

2.?????? Is there an arrangement that parent(s) will provide childcare in any way?

3.?????? What is their relationship with their grandchildren?

Ninth, discuss the need for eldercare and assistance

1.?????? Can you provide the physical care that may be required?

2.?????? Will you require them to pay for outside help?

3.?????? Does a parent have dementia and are you ready for this type of oversight?