Before Lean In there was Lillian

My friend Lillian Vernon was a public figure and much of her narrative is known: born in 1927 in Leipzig, Germany; fled the Nazis in 1933 with her family to Amsterdam and then onto New York City in 1937.   In 1951 she founded her eponymous mail order business which grew to include a business-to-business division, two websites, 9 catalogs, 15 retail outlets and yearly revenues of $300 million. Lillian was the first woman to own a company listed on the American Stock Exchange.   President Clinton appointed her Chairwoman of the National Women’s Business Council.

When Lillian passed away in December much was written and said about her dramatic life story and stunning commercial accomplishments.  What I will treasure are the precious tidbits of advice she imparted over the years—in words and deeds—that illuminated a path to a successful life as a businesswoman.  Below are but a few:

1. Stand your ground.   Before “leaning in” was a mantra, Lillian knew the meaning of making her presence known.  She was unapologetic in her ambition.  She believed in herself and, if you were fortunate enough to be her friend, she believed in you too.
2. Ask a lot of questions.  Lillian was full of inquiry—interested to know what was new, what you thought, where you’d been.  She never used disabling preambles many women hide behind like “maybe this is a dumb question, but…” If she wanted to know, she’d plunge right in.  The effect was endearing.
3. Look good.  I never saw Lillian look anything other than perfect.  Coiffed.  Tailored. Bejeweled. Manicured.  She was beautiful and managed an improbable combination of gaiety and gravitas, appearing cheeky and regal at the same time.
4. Be appreciative.  On our most recent lunch date, I spoke to the waiter in advance to ensure I’d receive the bill.  I wanted to treat Lillian and didn’t want to have to fight her for the bill.  She wasn’t going to take that without a response.  Within an hour of returning to my office,  a gift arrived from Lillian – a Valentino handbag!

In a world full of symposiums, books, lectures and talk shows dedicated to the advancement of women in the workplace, I’ll hang onto the no-nonsense wisdom of one of America’s greatest success stories.