Before they cheat...

I cheated.

There I said it, I'm airing my dirty laundry for all to see.

I was in a long-term relationship with a vendor, and I cheated, I left, and I might have broke their heart.

But what I hope to do is explain how it happened, why it happened, and hopefully, help prevent it from happening to you.

I don't see many sales articles written by the prospect (they should be the ones writing them not us!) and I don't see many churn articles by customers.

Well, I'm writing as a customer today to try and explain how and why things like this happen, and how you can prevent it from happening to you and your customers.

In the Beginning

All was good in the beginning with me and V (Vendor). We had a fun and exciting courting process where I felt like the center of their world. They treated me well, said nice things, made me feel special, their product was great, and after some time I fell in love (bought).

So we started a committed relationship and stopped seeing other people, and honestly, it was great. V introduced me to her family (CEO, CMO, etc), I was given a great account manager to take care of me and keep me spoiled and happy. I was on top of the world.

V checked in on me all the time.

"Hey KD how's it going?"

"Are you happy? Is there anything I can do to make you happier"

"How can we make this relationship even better for YOU?"

If I had a question, boom immediate answer. Wasn't sure how to do something, V would hold my hand right through it and make me feel safe. When other vendors came calling I only had eye's for V, nothing could take me away.

But then things changed...

After a year or so into our relationship, I stopped hearing from V as much. My account manager changed, and I felt kind of alone. Sure I got the auto-generated emails from V, but for some reason, it just felt empty.

Requests for changes seemed to fall on deaf ears, even when I was asked for feedback, it seemed to fizzle out.

I didn't feel like part of the family anymore, didn't really hear from anyone really.

And to make it worse...no one held my hand any more, made sure I felt safe and secure. No checking it to make sure that I was actually using the product the way I should be. No ground breaking new and exciting things to keep me intrigued, and improving my business. So my own understanding and knowledge of the product were no longer where it should be.

Now I tried to stay faithful, I reached out to a couple people here or there, with questions. They'd get answered sometimes, and other times not. Nothing was broken, though, so I just stayed, I mean it wasn't broken or anything. I mean V would let me know personally if there was a better way to use their product right?

So I stayed with V, didn't make a fuss, I kept adding seats every month as we grew, I wasn't really looking, until something new caught my eye. It all started with a very simple question from a new potential vendor, we'll call her G...

"Hey can V do this??"

It was simple enough, not threatening, not really a cheesy pickup line "Quick Question" email, just a simple question. The honest answer was "Well I don't know". Since I didn't feel like I had some one directly to reach out to at V, I didn't pause to find out. And just like any affair, it started off with something simple, and in this case, a demo.

After that demo, my whole world was shook!

There was something new and shiny. Features I've never seen before! Things I didn't think V could do, or that I had asked V for but this new vendor, G, had it all!

Plus G started asking me those same questions V used to.

• What do you want?
• What would make you happy?
• Oh you want to talk to our VP of Sales? Our Head of Product? Yes let's go on a double date and make that happen.

All of a sudden I felt wanted and catered to again.

So the affair began, just a simple month trial wouldn't hurt right? I'm not technically cheating because I'm still using V right?

But then my team started to see G hanging out more, and they were interested too, it was something new and shiny for them to play around with too, G started to grow on the family. G was customizing things just for my team, demo after demo, coaching after coaching, plus they would give me a much better deal than V. It was starting to get serious when something crazy happened.

V found out about G!

To say it was awkward isn't giving it justice. G had started to brag about stealing me away, and word got around to V. Big mistake G, it almost cost you the entire thing.

At first, V was hurt and sad, but they also recognized that they had not been treating me as well as they could be. So, of course V asked for a 2nd chance, what can we do to make it up to you? I was torn.

Do I go with the new vendor in my life, the new, exciting, at my beck and call vendor? Or give old faithful another try, still a little hurt and worried that it might go back to the way it was before. PLUS G really does have things that V doesn't, but V is promising to do their best to fix it.

V really did their best, all of a sudden I was getting the same type of attention I did at the beginning. They rolled out a few new asks that my team had, and I started getting personal outreach from high-level people at the company. But was it too little too late?

It was a tougher decision than I think many people actually give it credit for. Leaving V for G was going to be hard... But I did it.

I did it because my team wanted it.

I did it because I THOUGHT I would get what was missing from V.

I did it because I was already too invested in G to turn back around and go back to V and wait/hope for things to get better.

But I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt... I thought me and V would be together forever. There is still a part of me that wonders if it was the right choice or not...

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So let me leave you with some tips on how to make sure your customers don't cheat on you!

Trust me when I say your customers WANT to stay with you a long time, they don't want to leave.

The overlay's between these tips and real world relationship tips are damn near identical. And for anyone that takes this advice and improves their personal relationships too... You're welcome :-)

1. Make sure you treat them just as well at 1 year as you did at day 1. Never stop asking how you can make them happy, what they may want or need. Everyone wants to feel wanted, make sure you find ways to do that.
2. Get to know their family! Aka their team and the reps/team members that actually use your product every day. At a certain point, the DM should no longer be your main point of contact. (but note that does NOT mean you don't stay in touch with the DM). Make the team love you, and the DM couldn't pay them to take it away.
3. Make sure they are getting the most from your product as they possibly can. If there is a feature that you can see they not using or an update they have not downloaded, do EVERYTHING you can get make sure that they do.
4. Find ways to Wow them. Surprise them with a discount out of nowhere for a month. Surprise them with a gift, a handwritten card, a gift card, whatever. Something that shows them you think about them when they're away.
5. Never ever ever let them start to feel like everyone else. I understand that not all customers are created equal, but there are still ways to make sure that the communication they are getting is meant for them and only them. If they ask for something, do it if you can, or just be honest and say you can't.
6. Get them involved with your family. You have a great company culture, share that with your customer, let them get to know you and your team. Encourage multiple people to talk to them. Link them up with people that could help them do their job better.
7. Silence does not mean everything is good. In fact, if you stop hearing from your customer, that might be a sign that they are starting to talk to someone else. Touch base BECAUSE you haven't heard from them in a while, don't just let it go.
8. G's BEWARE! If you steal one of your competitor's customers, you have to remember something very important, that if you slip up, it is SO EASY for them to go back to V. Many companies brag/beat their chests if they get a customer from their competitor, well keep in mind there is always going to be a fear that your customer made a mistake, and if you slip up, they'll just go right back to V.
9. V's don't give up! Stay in touch. Stay around, send the "late night text" from time to time to see how things are going. Let them know that you'd still take them back if they are willing. Show them that you really have improved, you really have learned a lesson and are committed to never making those mistakes again, you never know when G might slip up.

I hope you have enjoyed this little story and can use it to prevent heartbreak down the road.

Kevin "Before They Cheat" Dorsey