Been There. Done That.

"It's good to remember that the past is behind you."

I have that quote on my wall. I was talking to a friend who had done an interview with an old music business A&R / manager type guy. They were discussing older artists. Some who've managed to continue creating, and working and some who crash and burn in some way, or are just generally pissed off that the glory days are behind them. This quote hit me at just the right time.

My life has changed a lot in the last few years. I've gone from traveling all over the state, and elsewhere, performing with a band to mostly being at home with a few gigs here and there. I still get to do some really cool stuff, play with great people, do a yearly tour in Europe, and I'm even working on finishing a new record, but it ain't like it used to be. That was hard for me to wrap my head around for a while. But, things change and it's good to remember the past is behind you.

Part of me wants to hold on though. To hold on to some unrealized dream. To some version of the past that may or may not even be true. Some story in my head says I need to keep things the same that I should be doing what I used to do. That I should want to. It's something I notice in other people as well. Maybe it's just fear of change. Maybe it's more than that.

There was a time when if I were asked what I did for a living I would say, "I'm a musician." As in, I AM a musician. It's how I identified myself since I was 12 years old. It's the people and peer group I always sought out. It's where I felt the most belonging. (still do) All of a sudden playing music wasn't the central goal of my life. Honestly, I never made a great living at it, and I've always been interested in other things, but it felt wrong to me. My whole identity was tied up in being a musician, but I'm more than that. I am a musician, a writer, a coach, a father, and so much more.

Life is always changing. That's a good thing, though uncomfortable, and it reminds of another quote, "Your life is unfolding exactly as it needs to." It's supposed to change. We grow. That's how we're designed. Things get really weird when we resist growing. I might say, "Your life is unfolding exactly as it needs to...? If you let it." Easier said than done sometimes. It's uncomfortable to face growth. The chaos, the uncertainty. Sometimes you just have to trust that it's all working out the way it's supposed to. We get to make choices along the way, but it's easier to make good ones when we're not clinging to the past.

When my brain starts holding onto the old stories, or I get nostalgic or have Instagram FOMO, my new mantra has become, "Been there. Done that. What's next?" That opens up the whole playing field. Life gets big. Full of possibility. I can let go and let it unfold.