The Bedtime Routine

The Bedtime Routine

It’s not easy being a parent. Whether you work at home managing the family operation, work from home or local office, or travel as extensively as I do, it is immensely challenging to balance the many things in life that deserve your attention.

For example, my job as the senior leader of my company is a responsibility I take incredibly seriously and where I devote the lion’s share of my time. But at the end of the day, the most important and meaningful job in my life is raising my two sons to be good people, conscientious citizens and honorable men.

Naturally, my job as dad often conflicts with my job as CEO, so I have to work hard to reconcile the two. To me, that includes making a concerted effort to be 100% present and engaged when I am spending time with my boys. As experienced parents will tell you, every stage of childhood is fleetingly short. I want to soak it all in and make each minute together count.

To be the best dad I can be, here are a few things I make a point to do:

1)     Unplug. When I get home, the phone sits on the kitchen counter while I give my boys my undivided attention. Seriously – for the next few hours, I don’t touch it. If I am distracted by the phone, I’m only halfway present and that’s not good enough for me. Sure, I might miss reading a few emails in real-time, but magically, the emails are still there after the kids are in bed.

2)     Create consistency. Every Friday night we have family night. The kids get to pick what we have for dinner and the evening activity. It’s usually Chipotle, hamburgers or sushi and a movie or games. I try to be home for family dinner as much as humanly possible, but Friday family nights are uniquely sacred and worth the late Thursday night flights or weekend calls to preserve them.

 3)     Be there for the big moments. First T-ball game. The 2nd grade music recital and “live” book report. A recent example – we moved to Dallas, TX from Phoenix, AZ a few weeks ago. Even though there was a work dinner that I would have liked to (and usually would) attend, I excused myself early and went home so that my wife and I could put the kids to bed together on their first night in our new home.

When I can manage to be home, I most look forward to being there for bedtime.

4)     The bedtime routine. There’s something special about that quiet time when they’re settling into bed. Of course, they typically want their mommy to read to them, but I can usually coax them into letting daddy read if I promise to end with a story “from when I was a kid.”

I don’t remember my dad reading to me much – his work hours were necessarily long trying to provide for our family and modeling what it means to have work ethic, integrity and honor. While he may not have said these words out loud to me, each night during bedtime, I share with my sons the lessons my father taught me:

1)     Always do your best – at everything you do. (Grandpa Tyler said, “never give up.”)

2)     Believe in yourself.

3)     Be positive.

4)     Be true to who you are. Don’t let others shape you into something you’re not.

5)     Be kind, especially to those in need.

My hope is that they will take these small (but powerful) lessons and live them out – and in time, pass them along to their own children, perhaps with some iterations of their own.

My boys are still young enough that they get excited when I come home, look for me in the crowd during their school singalong and listen with big eyes to the stories from my youth. I know this will change as they age. But for now, I savor every moment. I’ve been blessed to have an incredible career, but truly, my greatest joy and honor is to be my boys’ father. Being a parent is pretty darn amazing.

Happy Father’s Day to all the Dads… and to mine, we miss you Pop.


Anthony Joseph

Appraisal Specialist - TD Insurance Private Client Advice High Net Worth

5 年

Well written and great points. I am in the beginning stages of my children’s lives and it is true that each stage passes by fast. Thanks for sharing this I enjoyed the read.

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Amanda Bounds

Sr. Director - Contract Administration

5 年

This is awesome. Parenting is a blessing but it does take work. Thanks for this! I am glad to work for a company that cultivates flexibility and supports the importance of family. ??

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Michael Oriente

Director of Regulatory Affairs at McKesson

5 年

Thanks for sharing Brian.? Good points to remember.? Fatherhood is awesome.

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Jason Zimmerman

Account Manager at McKesson

5 年

Good read and good takeaways. Thanks for sharing

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Makes me think of your beautiful boys

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