Becoming vs. Achieving: The True Path to Fulfillment

I work with high-achieving professionals driven by goals and accomplishments. Despite their high achievements, they feel unfulfilled, guilty for not doing enough. ?The more success they achieve, the more they feel alone and a bit like an imposter.

I understand this feeling deeply. There's a profound difference between merely checking off a goal and truly becoming the kind of person it takes to achieve them. ??

The Marathon and the Credential: A Tale of Two Achievements

?In Q2 2024, I set two major goals: Earn my Professional Certified Coach (PCC) credential through the International Coaching Federation and complete the Utah Valley Marathon. I achieved both, but the experiences were vastly different.

The Credential

I did not want this PCC simply to add letters to my title. I wanted to master my skill, to learn new methods, to challenge my thinking, to make a bigger impact. Rather than focus on test day – I focused on all I could to learn and develop mastery. I knew the PCC requirements would give me the roadmap.

With this perspective, I knew that even if I didn’t pass the test, I met all the other requirements, and I had grown exponentially as a coach, leader, entrepreneur, and human!

I did pass. This accomplishment required thousands of hours of coaching, being coached, studying, mentoring, practicing, and attending classes. It challenged my thinking. Opened my mind to new perspectives. Introduced me to people all over the world. The journey lead me to achieve many other goals because of who I was becoming.

The Marathon

My marathon experience was different.

The difference in mindset was crucial. You see, I was ready to run the marathon in 2020. But it was canceled because of the pandemic. I felt I had unfinished business, so this time, I just set out to close that loop.

My 2020 training was about seeing how far I could stretch my comfort zone. I tested my limits. I nurtured my body. I practiced mental fitness. In 2024, I focused on training to finish the race without injury or messed up knees. ?So, I just ran what I thought would be “enough” to get me through the race.

When I crossed the finish line, I wasn’t celebrating the physical and mental strength, the belief in myself, my transformation. No. I was celebrating being done. I felt a sense of incompletion and disappointment despite the fact only 0.13% of Americans have done this. I didn’t feel like I deserved to join this elite group.

The Point

When we evolve to become the kind of person it takes to achieve a goal, we gain the ability to repeat that success. We develop the habits, thoughts, emotions, and identity of that person. ?It becomes part of who we are, not just something we've done.

In contrast, simply ticking off a goal results in superficial transformation and fleeting fulfillment. We don’t recognize how much we gained.

To cultivate lasting success and fulfillment, focus on who you want to be, not just what you need to do. Focus on the journey to becoming that person, not the finish line.

And when you cross the finish line, celebrate who you are and all you’ve done to get there. Here is where you’ll find the fulfillment and own your success.