BECOMING UNF*WITHABLE - from doubt to confidence

In this weeks newsletter we are warming up for our Workshop next wednesday.

So far we have been looking at "How to Rewrite the Rules of Success", we explored "The Joy Formula - How to live a truly joyful life" and now we are diving into unshakable confidence or what Vishen Lakhiani calls "becoming unf*withable".

Are you ready?

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So let's dive in:

"Confidence"? It’s a word we throw around like confetti at a party, everybody wants it, but nobody feels worthy enough to have it.

How many of us truly own it?

Not the Instagram-highlight-reel kind, but the deep, unshakable, “unfuckwithable” kind that roots you to the earth like a wise old tree in a storm. If you’ve been chasing confidence and feeling like it’s playing hide-and-seek with you, you’re not alone.

Let’s break it down, reframe it, and uncover some unconventional ideas to becoming the unstoppable, flawesome and grounded powerhouse we were born to be.

What Is Confidence anyway?

Here’s the thing: confidence isn’t about being the loudest person in the room or strutting into a meeting like you’re the main character in a movie montage. Real confidence is quie. It’s not thinking you’re better than anyone else; it’s knowing you don’t have to compare yourself to anyone at all. Because YOU know who you are and what you’ve got.

Confidence is the art of trusting yourself. It’s walking into a situation and knowing you can handle whatever comes your way, even if the stakes are high and the Wi-Fi is low. It’s believing that you’re worthy—not because of your achievements, but simply because you are you. Now that’s “being unfuckwithable”.

Why Do We Lack Confidence?

Let’s spill the tea: many of us weren’t exactly handed true confidence on a silver platter growing up. Our parents lacked it, our teachers lacked it and so whenever we showed our innate childlike confidence, they would shut us down, one brave act at a time, until we were so quite that their lack of confidence was no longer reflected by us. Likely you were told to shrink yourself, to play it safe, or that your value depended on things like your grades, your job title, or how “nice” you were to others.

Then there’s our inner critic, that nagging voice in your head that’s a mix of all the mean high schooler gossips, the belittling comments of teachers and the disapproving words of our parents. “You’re not ready.” “If you continue like this you’ll fail in life” “Who do you think you are?” If this soundtrack has been on repeat in your mind, it’s no wonder confidence feels elusive. Isnt it?

But wait—it’s not all bad news. Confidence is not a personality trait thats reserved only for extroverts. It’s a skill you can re-build, brick by brick, moment by moment, one bold daring act at a time. Don’t wait until you magically feel confident one day, do things despite the lack of confidence and strengthen the muscles of confidence.

How to Gain Unshakable Confidence

(and become 99% unf*withable)

Let’s get to the good stuff. Here are some unconventional strategies for building the kind of confidence that’s as solid as your favorite pair of yoga pants. ??

1. Practice Tiny ACTS OF BRAVERY

As I just mentioned confidence doesn’t come from one grand leap; it’s built through small, consistent acts of courage. Speak up in your relationships, in the meetings.

Introduce yourself to someone new, even if you feel intimidated and unworthy. Say “no” to the thing you really don’t want to do. Then celebrate yourself, each and every single time. Each tiny win adds to your confidence score.

2. Channel Your INNER WEIRDO

Confidence isn’t about fitting in—it’s about owning your quirks and mastering true belonging.

Wear the bold outfit, share the goofy joke and embrace the hobby, follow that passion that makes you light up, even though people may question your sanity.

The more you lean into your authentic self, the more magnetic your energy becomes.

3. REWRITE THE STORIES in Your Head

Your inner critic loves a good drama, but you’re the screenwriter, director AND the actor here.

The next time your mind starts spinning worst-case scenarios, stop and ask: “What’s another way to look at this?

A more empowering one?” Replace “I can’t do this” with “I’m learning to do this.” Confidence grows when you start treating challenges as opportunities instead of threats. #LFG

4. Set BOUNDARIES Like a Boss

If you’ve been a people-pleaser, boundaries might feel scary at first.

It might feel like saying “no” is an act of rebellion. But here’s the secret: Boundaries are acts of love, both for yourself and others.?

When you say “no” to things that drain you, you’re saying “yes” to your own energy, happiness, and growth.?

And that’s a huge confidence boost. I swear. Try it.

5. FORGIVE Yourself (yes, really!)

You’ve made mistakes. Spoiler alert: so has everyone else who has ever walked this earth. EVERYONE! Confidence doesn’t come from perfection; it comes from embracing your imperfection with compassion.?

• Forgive yourself for the times you played small, messed up, or didn’t show up the way you wanted to.
• Forgive yourself for the thing you said yes to when you wanted to say no, or the thing you rejected even though you really wanted it.
• Forgive yourself for blaming yourself, beating yourself up for no real reason, or talking badly about your behaviour.

Every time you let go of self-blame, you’re clearing space for confidence to move in.

? The Secret Ingredient: Self-Compassion

Here’s the magic sauce no one talks about: the ability to love yourself truly and knowing that you are enough and belong. It’s the fuel that keeps confidence going, even on the hard days. Compassion for yourself when you stumble. Recognizing that you were born flawesome* AF?

But also compassion for others when they don’t meet your expectations. Knowing that each and everyone of us is fighting their very own inner battles.?

When you lead with kindness, you step into a higher version of yourself—one that’s steady, strong, and unshakeable.

* the word "flawesome" has been brought into my vocabulary by the wonderful Kristina M?nd-Lakhiani who has written an entire book on the topic, highly recommendet

Wrapping It All Up for now

Becoming unf*withable isn’t about being perfect or fearless. It’s about showing up, flaws and all, and trusting that you’re enough.?

It’s forgiving yourself, setting rock-solid boundaries, and walking through life with the kind of quiet confidence that doesn’t need to shout to be heard, it simply knows it belongs and claims it.

So, take a deep breath now. IN and OUT. That’s it.?

Let’s just do it again: IIIIIIIN and OOOOOOUT, all right!!!

You’ve got this.?

And remember, confidence isn’t a destination; it’s a journey and you’re already on your way.

Have fun Be fabulous Live well

PS: Ready to unleash your inner badass? Share in the comments: What’s one small act of bravery you’ll take today to step into your confidence? Let’s cheer each other on. ?

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