Becoming a Social Pariah

Let's be honest here, no one likes to be shunned, ignored, or avoided. In this day and age, the term often thrown around is 'ghosted'. But there is an older phrase that was often used that sums up what this next topic is about as it relates to being an autism parent:

Social Pariah.

According to Urban Dictionary, a social pariah is a term used for "someone?considered?as?isolated, an?outcast, or different by others."

For many autism families, including our own, getting the diagnosis of autism for a loved one often meant less involvement from family members... and friends.

It took some time to accept this part of parenting a special needs child, but we had to remind ourselves that people fear what they don't know. The other aspect to this experience is that autism families who are just starting down this path are just figuring this aspect of life out and struggle to cope in addressing this very issue.

For us, we found out quickly who really are our friends, and who worked at ignoring us under the guise of a 'busy schedule'. Some family and friends were kind to us in a positive way, helping where they could, even if in moral support. Others, just thinking that they are being nice by not saying anything at all and often just 'ignored' our own personal efforts at reaching out. It is the latter group of which can hurt. Silence in these matters is worse than being blunt that someone doesn't want to be around us because of our kids.

The result of this is that for those friends and family that often don't want us around or create situations where we can't be involved - or have only limited involvement - often tend to just ignore us. Now to be fair, people don't know how to respond, or what to say or do. There's also the reality that people live their daily lives, and the world doesn't revolve around our daily situations. So, it isn't out of hatred or disgust, it's really just out of a lack of knowledge or understanding while people try to live their normal lives on a daily basis. However, the challenge with all of this going on and lack of understanding is that special needs families often become ignored or feel as though they are being treated as 'less than'.

Sometimes it's the need for extra accommodations that can throw them off or requiring a little flexibility and understanding. Suffice it to say that many special needs families may often feel 'left-out' or 'forgotten' by friends or family because those 'extra' things might be a bit much for them.

Whatever the reason is for lack of involvement or communication, the result is that parents and caregivers, and sometimes even the special needs individual, becomes a social pariah. To overcome this, it is highly encouraged for special needs families to get 'plugged in' to their local community and support groups. Something of which I can't express enough.

Now let's take quick note to the origin of the word Pariah, "Pariah?comes from Tamil pa?aiyan and its Malayalam equivalent pa?ayan,?words?that refer to a member of a Dalit group of southern India and Sri Lanka that had very low status in the traditional caste system of India."

This is the root of the issue at hand, and what many autism parents are challenged with as they navigate what their child needs to become a more independent individual as they grow up. What we experience as parents in this area, we don't want our kids to experience. I dive into this and more on an upcoming addition to the Autisable Dad's podcast.

Now for the Podcast News…

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And now, for more!

Sometimes an individual and organization need a bit of a shoutout, as they are making great strides in helping the autism community in some way. Here is this week's highlight:

1. Autism Today Foundation?- is quickly on its way to providing more information and entertainment by and for the autism community. Check them out!
2. Autism Radio?- with their flagship show HOPE Saves the Day, hosted by Paul Cimins is on iHeart Radio nationwide, and their podcast is on many streaming platforms. They help many autism families with a variety of services available nationwide!
3. MSP Design Group?- a promotional marketing company that helps you sell more of your product or service, engage with prospects, influencers and your community and motivate your employees.?

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