On Becoming a Memoirist

We all have the innate desire to be seen and heard, to know and be known. And we manifest this with the urge to share our stories with others. But to do this with the greatest satisfaction, we need a safe place, a place to rediscover ourselves as we tell these stories, first to ourselves and then go on to share with others. And that's where the literary genre, memoir comes in -providing us with a safe place to do this, and in the process understand ourselves better.

What is a Memoir?

A memoir is a French word for memories.

Memoir is a nonfiction that tells one's past events or memories.

A memoir is a slice of life.

A memoir is a real story, not imagined or made up and told in an interesting way.

A memoir is a personal story that depicts the private experiences, knowledge and insights of an individual.

A memoir is a creative recollection of memories that centres on a particular point in time of the author's life.

Memoir is a journey an author takes to rediscover their selves, using a narrative arc to captivate readers to accompany them on such journey as witnesses to their transformation.

A memoir is a true story that uses the narrative point of view of the writer to narrate their personal and most private experiences. The memories or experiences the writer chooses to focus on are largely influenced by how they had completely shaped their world view and their relationship to it.

As true and lived experiences, memoir writing can be overwhelming as the memoirist move back in time, striving to make meaning of their experiences through reflection.

Who is a Memoirist?

Although people craves the need of knowing others and being known, not everyone wants to risk being rejected, judged or vulnerable. To let ourselves be known by others is to share a part of ourselves (our most vulnerable) with others.

The best way to share ourselves with others is by sharing our vulnerable stories, the experiences that forms the fabrics of who we are. To discover how experiences have changed us, and our own response to these changes requires courage. And the one who possesses this courage is the Memoirist.

Put simply, a memoirist is someone who writes a memoir.

But a memoirist is far more than that. As you would have noticed, he doesn't just write his story but makes time for reflection.

A memoirist doesn't just tell every of his experiences, but sieve through the most significant ones. Sharing his lessons, realizations, epiphanies, wisdoms and insights along the way.

The memoirist is compassionate. He teaches us from his life experiences and light the way for us to cope on our own journey.

The memoirist teaches us about kindheartedness, empathy, compassion, and gives us a new lens with which to view the world.

A memoirist begins a journey on one side and comes out at the other end whole, new, different for each moment lived.

A memoirist not only recount his stories, he relives them with all its emotional, fear gripping and torments.

A memoirist is a person who looks back on his life to say to others, "Here is what it was like to be me, to face what I faced, to lose what I lost." - Thomas Larson.

A memoirist employs the use of fiction as a bridge to connect readers so he can make his stories, theirs.

A memoirist is the person who dares to wash his dirty linens in public, revealing his flaws, vulnerabilities and imperfections.

The Challenges of a Memoirist

Writing about ourselves can be challenging, more challenging is when we write to share the lessons learned from our experiences with others. This means it needs to read like a story, to read like a story one needs to step out of the shoes of a storyteller and into the shoes of a writer.

Here are some of the challenges of a memoirist:

1. Translating Emotions

A lot of people have this assumption that telling one's story is a litanies of what happened. But far from it, memoir transcends what. It's focus is more on who and it's effect on the person. True, people need to know what happened. But channeling your attention on what is to dismiss the one it happens to and its consequences. As a memoirist, you want readers to empathize with you. To achieve this effortlessly, you should pull them into your story by connecting emotionally with them. Translate those feelings of anger, hate, uncertainties, confusion, restlessness, etc. Translating these emotions demands that the memoirist look back to those moments no matter how painful and overwhelming it must be. Only then, can he successfully pull the readers into his story.

2. Assuming the Role of a Character

Viewing yourself as a character does not in anyway strip off your story as a true story. It might sound fictitious but that's what a good memoirist does; borrows the elements of fiction writing to advance his story. When a memoirist has leaped pass this hurdle, it gives him a better stage on which to stand and tell his story. As a character, it awards you the distance you need to recount your story with maturity, honesty and sensory details.

3. Focusing on Pivotal Moments

With a ton of lived moments and experiences to choose from, a memoirist is faced with the challenge of what memory to focus on and which to leave out. A memoirist has to constantly ask himself; how does this memory relate to what I am saying? How does this memory advance my story? In the end, it is not the lack of moments to write about that assaults the memoirist, but what to leave out.

4. Telling Your Truth

One challenge that confronts the memoir writer is baring his self on the pages, exposing your vulnerabilities and flaws. You should know that, you can't be perfect on the pages. No one is perfect. Choosing to reveal the bad choices you made, the scars you had picked along the way, your deviousness and the contribution to your misfortunes or abuse is something that will endear you to readers. Your flaws are what makes you human.

Sometimes, it's even the agonizing feeling that comes with sharing your truth that will be challenging. But as a memoirist, you've chosen truth -your own truth and as challenging as it might be, it is something you have to do. And as you tell your truth, you'll be discovering so much about you, things that might have been hidden will reveal themselves to you. This is what we mean when we say that, writing a memoir is an act of bravery.