Becoming the Leader You Want to Be: Leading with Impact

How to step outside your comfort zone and become the kind of leader you want to be :

If you are a leader who wants to understand how to influence without pulling out the "I am the boss" card, then continue reading.

7 Steps to Becoming a Better Leader

Step 1 — Know Thyself

There has been a lot of talk about "authentic leadership " in the news these days. Fake Jakes and Janes are becoming less popular. We all want to follow leaders living their convictions and not just preaching them.

Understanding your unique strengths is the most important part of becoming an authentic leader. In Shakespeare's Hamlet , Polonius' advice is summed up with the lines:

'This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.'

This involves self-awareness, recognizing strengths and weaknesses, values, and personal motivations.

When you know what you are good at and become confident in your strengths, you are more willing to step forward and use those strengths to help your team. When you know where you lack strength, you can better select people who complement your team rather than compete with you.

Taking assessments like Clifton StrengthsFinder and DiSC can help you hone in on your own strengths. Taking the assessments as a team can promote a better understanding of how your team can work collaboratively.

You should also know the values that are important to you. What are the top three values that define your worldview? Understanding your values can help you hone your authentic leadership style. It is important that you choose the values that you live and not the ones you aspire to.

When you understand your strengths, what you are not good at, and your values, you are better positioned to select the behaviors and areas of focus for your leadership journey.

Step 2 — Practice Humility

Humility is a key trait for successful leadership. Acknowledging mistakes, being open to feedback, and valuing the contributions of others create a positive and collaborative work environment.

It is unfortunate that in some circles, the exact opposite is both worshipped and admired. Leaders who are arrogant, confident, know-it-alls often get the most attention. While their quieter and more humble counterparts move about silently making unrecognized impacts.

Humble leaders who are approachable and inspire trust among their team members are less likely to be attention seekers. Yet the people who follow them respect and trust their authority.

One of the most compelling aspects of humility in leadership is the ability to acknowledge mistakes openly. When leaders admit their errors, they create a culture of accountability and learning within their organization. Team members are more likely to take ownership of their actions and decisions when they see their leader doing the same. This transparency not only builds trust but also encourages a culture of continuous improvement.

Humility also opens the door to receiving feedback gracefully. A humble leader actively seeks input from their team, valuing the diverse perspectives and insights that each member brings. This open-minded approach can lead to innovative solutions and stronger decision-making, as well as making team members feel valued and heard.

In a humble leader's approach, there is a genuine appreciation for the contributions of others. They recognize that no single person has all the answers, and they empower their team to shine. This empowerment creates a collaborative and harmonious work environment where each member feels motivated to contribute their best efforts.

Contrastingly, leaders who exude arrogance and unwavering confidence may command attention in the short term, but their approach can lead to a toxic and divisive atmosphere over time. Such leaders may find that their authority is based more on fear than respect, which can be detrimental in the long run.

When you practice humility, you inspire loyalty and respect, creating enduring relationships and results.

Step 3 — Learn about Leadership

How much do you know about leadership? Most people who step into the role of a leader often emulate what they have experienced while watching others lead. And it is not until they experience bad results that they pause to consider what they may be getting wrong.

In the 21st century, we have an advantage here as we can access a deep body of knowledge about what does and does not work. So, while we may start with what we know, we must be on a continuous journey of discovery to grow our leadership acumen. Continuous learning is crucial for leadership development. This step involves studying leadership principles, models, and successful leaders' experiences. Gaining knowledge about different leadership styles and approaches enables a leader to adapt and evolve.

Learning about leadership is crucial for aspiring leaders because it fosters self-awareness, skill development, and the ability to adapt to changing circumstances. Self-awareness helps individuals understand their strengths, values, and leadership style, while skill development equips them with essential leadership competencies such as communication, conflict resolution, and decision-making. Additionally, leadership education enables leaders to stay updated on industry trends and navigate evolving challenges effectively.

If you want to be the best leader you can be, you must have a plan for growth.

Step 4 — Embrace Not Knowing

Leadership often involves navigating uncertainty. Embracing ambiguity and acknowledging that not all answers are immediately available fosters a culture of innovation and adaptability.

In contrast to traditional leadership approaches that revolve around the leader having all the answers, our world has become increasingly complex and diverse. Nowadays, people have access to a wealth of information at their fingertips thanks to their smart phones. This means that today's problems require talent that goes beyond a lone genius — which is actually just a myth anyway.

Leaders must now help their teams think and imagine future solutions in an innovative way. This requires embracing the unknown without fear. Leaders who act boldly and are comfortable with uncertainty inspire confidence in their teams.

Work cultures that embrace the statement "I don't know" are able to foster an environment where people are curious and creative. Work cultures that focus on valuing "I know" will foster fear of not knowing and cause people to hide rather than be vulnerable and learn. In the "I know" cultures, you will often hear the phrase "knowledge is power." And the behavior it drives is one of pretending, grandstanding, and hoarding of important information.

Saying "I don't know" is directly tied to the practice of humility. Leaders who are able to express themselves are not only seen as humble, but they are also seen as authentic, down-to-earth, and inspirational. People who follow such leaders understand that they are valued for what they think and what they know. And this creates a culture of innovation for everyone's creative talent is unleashed.

Step 5 — Lead Where You Want Them to Follow

Effective leaders lead by example. As John Maxwell says, "They don't just know the way. They show the way." Great leaders embody the values and work ethic they expect from their team.

Unfortunately, some leaders will follow the "Do as I say and not as I do" philosophy. They use their authority as a license to enrich themselves and selfishly further their influence. These leaders are often caught in unethical decisions and immoral behaviors that they have learned to hide through the use of their cunningly cultivated network of resources. Bernie Madoff is a great example of this type of leader.

Modeling the behavior and standards you wish to see in your team creates a positive and motivating work environment. People understand that "what they see is what they get." And this will inspire confidence in your leadership as people understand what they can expect from you.

Leaders who fail to model the behaviors they want to see from their team often resort to manipulative tactics of fear to motivate people. I have heard people say this phrase:

"Sometimes you must use the carrot, and other times you must use a stick."

I don't believe in the "carrot and sticks" type of leadership , but one thing I have observed is this: leaders who consistently use "the stick" will find themselves in a perpetual cycle of needing to use it more often.

Leaders who focus on embodying the traits they wish to see in their team will garner admiration and command respect. And this will create a culture where the team is more likely to apply discretionary effort to their tasks rather than doing "just enough to get by."

Step 6 — Confess Your Sins Quickly

No one is perfect, and leaders are no exception. Great leaders may seem to have superhuman abilities. But at the end of the day, they are people just like the rest of us.

Let's face it. Failures and setbacks will happen. The world is not set up for us to win every time. We all have made bad choices and terrible decisions at some point in our lives. But only the humble are willing to admit to it.

Leaders who exhibit grace in the face of failure understand the power of quickly confessing to the role that you played in it and taking radical responsibility for the outcome . Admitting mistakes promptly and taking responsibility for them builds credibility and trust. Most people, if they respect you as a leader, are not out to crucify you. In fact, confessing to your errors and mis-steps will endear you to those you lead. It lets them know that you understand the gravity and impact of what has happened.

Taking this step encourages a culture of accountability and demonstrates that everyone, including leaders, is fallible. And it will improve the odds that your team will bring you their own mistakes rather than hide them. This kind of transparency requires a lot of courage from you as the leader. But it is one that pays dividends in fostering a culture of trust.

Step 7 — Keep the Focus on Them

If you have reached this part of the article, you have already realized that leading people is not about you. It is about them. People do not commit to leaders who do not in some way support their goals, wishes, and desires.

Successful leaders more often prioritize the needs of their team and organization over their own needs. I hate to use the term "servant leadership ," as it has become a worn-out phrase that means multiple things. But it really is true: great leaders focus on serving others rather than being served. They ask questions like:

• How do we better serve our customers?
• How do we create a better environment for our employees?

The emphasis is put on others so that all benefit from what is produced in the marketplace.

A successful leader also prioritizes the development of their team members. It has been said that "Great leaders produce great leaders." These leaders foster a positive and supportive environment by focusing on the growth and well-being of individuals within the team. This step involves active listening, providing constructive feedback, and addressing the concerns and aspirations of team members.

Creating such an environment may sound easy, but it requires all the previous steps listed. All of the "steps" are connected and weave a web of psychological safety within your team's culture. When psychological safety is present in your environment, employees feel safe to express their concerns and are more open to hearing feedback.

Keeping the focus on your team and how you can support them will help you as you practice all of the previously listed steps.

Great leaders aren't born — they are made. They are made by practicing all of the above steps consistently. Implementing these steps can contribute significantly to your personal and professional growth as a leader , ultimately leading to a more effective and cohesive team.