'BECOMING' - how do we become the best versions of ourselves in life and career despite the constant challenges we face daily?

It was a beautiful evening yesterday when I delivered a presentation in a virtual session to our 'learned colleagues' :) When Mahmudah contacted me to come to speak with some young female lawyers, we played with some dates, and I must say I’m glad that we finally made it work. What she didn’t prepare me for was that the same session would be graced with the presence of Mrs. Funmi Roberts – past Chairperson of the Board of Trustees of Women in Management Business and Public Service (WIMBIZ), Professor Oluyemisi Bamgbose SAN –the first Female Professor of Law in Nigeria to be conferred with the rank of Senior Advocate of Nigeria and the immediate past chairperson of the ?Nigerian Bar Association Women Forum (NBAWF). Also in attendance was Mrs. Chinyere Okorocha?the current Chairperson of NBAWF and more legal top shots. I was truly pleased to have them in the session. This speaks volumes about the association, where the leaders are constantly throwing down the ladder and looking out for the growth and success of young lawyers. After all, when one wins, we all win.

My topic was ‘Becoming’ – how do we become the best versions of ourselves in life and career despite the constant challenges we all face daily? Happy to share the summary of my notes here.

·??????We all need 4G – Grit, Gut, Grace, and Google on the journey to Becoming.

·??????Zero cobweb clarity and goal precision remain an absolute necessity; what is that thing you want to achieve? I talked about the Japanese concept - Ikigai – which is the intersection of what you love, what the world needs, what you can get paid for, and what you are good at. This concept is similar to the Hedgehog Concept for Organizations.

·??????Grit – courage and resilience to - despite the roadblocks - maintain the enthusiasm to achieve our career and life goals, the ‘we die here’ spirit of a typical Naija person and not the ‘I cannot come and die’ attitude we find in some people. Enthusiasm to succeed is common, and endurance is rare. To ‘become’, we must follow through and finish whatever we have started. We have to be tenacious and committed to our dreams. I also shared my ACCA journey, a story of grit despite life getting in the way. I shared a link on how to know how gritty we are - https://angeladuckworth.com/grit-scale/ And also steps to strengthen our grit muscles.

·??????Guts – I put this as the ability to dare to take alternative directions/actions. The destination should not change, but the route to get there can change. I talked about Murphy’s Law – whatever can go wrong in a plan will go wrong. So we should be prepared and we should be open to options and be solution-oriented. ?I talked about James Stockdale Paradox – that we must never confuse the faith that we will prevail in the end with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of our current reality. I shared my personal story here and hope it inspires the listeners that no matter the challenges life throws – we can confront them and still prevail in the end. We just have to be open to alternatives. It is never a straight line.

·??????Grace – We cannot take the place of Grace out of the equation. Grace has no manual but we have to come correct to expect it. And I shared my views on this; deep connection and constant communication with the supreme being, absolute trust in His plans and timings (Tawakkul), the belief that no one will get what is mine and I do not want what is not meant for me, and to remember to be kind to people – to be their guide and compass in career and life and not to be an anchor to hold them down (Karma is real)

·??????Google – The constant search for knowledge, the desire to continue to build capacity, the need to always challenge the status quo, to not look for ideas that will confirm our thinking, but rather look for trends that will disrupt our thoughts. I shared how I constantly pour into myself – reading books (I suggested some great books too), watching TED videos, and listening to my favourite speaker Les Brown's Podcast and Youtube. Some years back, for many months, I listened daily to Les’ 15 minutes Morning Motivation; same video everyday on Youtube (Check this out - you will find it mind-shifting). The goal is to continue to develop ourselves, prepare ourselves for opportunities. It is better to be prepared and not have the opportunity than to have the opportunity and not be prepared!

As always, with a speaking engagement comes learning opportunities. My learnings from yesterday – never stop putting your best foot forward – you will never know who is/would be watching. I am still soaking in the great feedback.

Prof. said I spoke like a lecturer and brought my points home, thanks ma’am. Mrs. Funmi Roberts was gracious to add ‘Character building’ to the list of must-haves to become our best selves and to grow. Mrs. Chinyere Okorocha complimented the presentation and delivery and hoped that when next I am called, I’d honor the invitation – absolutely ma’am. The video recording of the session was asked to be played to a wider audience.

I am glad I made the session worthwhile. And I am counting on us all to keep pouring into ourselves so we can become a fountain to others and not a drain, so we can become a voice and not an echo!

#adebolaidowulearningandsharing