On BECOMING: Goal Setting and Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

Its goal setting season - lots of planning and strategizing for the new year. Unfortunately, for many, a lot is holding us back from setting the goals we really want to achieve? In our heads, we keep telling ourselves:

"Who am I to ...........?"

Some of us experience the 'intellectual self-doubt' that manifests as imposter syndrome. Many of us tend to downplay our achievements. In attempt to be humble, we brush them off by saying our success was just a product of “luck” or “good timing.” While humility is admirable, self-doubt can have lasting negative effects on our personality, confidence, risk-taking, and ultimately, our chances of further success. Every academic achievement, promotion, big opportunity, and exciting lead is another chance for you to let self-doubt take hold.

I remember that as a child, ... I could never do things my mates were capable of doing: tell time; know by heart the multiplication tables; recite state and capital and memory verses... stuff like that. Turns out, I utterly dislike rote memorization. The truth is, I prefer to understand principles and "why" things are the way they are. I guess that is the reason I only remember what leaves a lasting impression on me.

All these standards, norms, expectations were set and people told me that I did not measure up... but I learnt how to changed that. As an adult, I have come to terms that it's downright alright not to overexplain myself to people, work at my own pace, make new mistakes and still produce outstanding results.

You cannot overcome what you do not understand - there are different types of imposter syndrome. Getting to understand the challenge is the first step to take positive action with your goals. I have experienced all types of imposter syndrome based on Dr Valerie Young's 5 types of the imposter.

Here's an introduction to the five imposter types, and ways I have practically dealt with them to inspire you as you set your goals...

1. The Perfectionist. This type involves believing that, unless you were absolutely perfect, you could have done better. You feel like an imposter because your perfectionist trait?make you believe that you're not as good as others might think you are. Overcoming Ms. Perfectionist: I do tasks in 10 - 15 min chunks and embrace "I can continue later". I am also learning to do things at the right time even if it is easy and it does not take time. Getting started is the most important step. Incomplete is "in progress". It does not have to be perfect.
2. The Expert. The expert feels like an imposter because they don't know everything there is to know about a particular subject or topic, or they haven't mastered every step in a process. Because there is more for them to learn, they don't feel as if they've reached the rank of "expert." Overcoming Ms. Expert: I take a look back at how far I have come, set goals based on my expertise while acknowledging I do not know everything. The truth is, no one knows everything. Sometimes, you don’t know how much knowledge or expertise you really have until you share it. So I decided to also actively mentor and volunteer.
3. The Natural Genius. In this imposter syndrome type, you may feel like a fraud simply because you don't believe that you are naturally intelligent or competent. If you don't get something right the first time around or it takes you longer to master a skill, you feel like an imposter. Overcoming Ms. Natural Genius: I learnt to continue to learn. There is no shame in the journey of learning. I am also learning to go "Agile". Agile is a great learning framework when executed well, set quick pacy goals, fail fast, learn and move on.
4. The Soloist. It's also possible to feel like an imposter if you had to ask for help to reach a certain level or status. Since you couldn't get there on your own, you question your competence or abilities. Overcoming Ms. Soloist: I surround myself with advisors. I have learnt to accept that I do not know what I do not know ... It is not a crime to ask for help. The truth is that there is a real richness when you share your goals with others, it leads to better outcomes and brilliant shortcuts.
5. The Superperson. This type of imposter syndrome involves believing that you must be the hardest worker or reach the highest levels of achievement possible and, if you don't, you are a fraud. Overcoming Ms. Superperson: I set goals around what makes me proud of who I am. I become my own source of validation, keep contact with people that see my vision and cheer me on. I constantly celebrate my wins, no matter how small.

Now I tell myself - "Who am I not to be a Change Agent with deep purpose and focus on creating wealth, jobs and economic growth in Africa".

Conclusion

You didn’t get where you are by sheer luck or overnight success. It is time to start recognizing your fantastic self! You are not an imposter, you are actually pretty amazing! Feel free to Share your amazing story with me in the comments.

I leave you with this quote from Marianne Williamson:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”?

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