Becoming Flawesome, The Illusion of Progress & The Pace Paradox

Welcome back! Here are my 3 highlights for May:

1.??Mindset: Becoming Flawesome

“A stranger’s opinion is a little bit like a Sch?dinger’s Cat (the famous quantum physics thought experiment) – it’s just as likely to be a rejection as it is not.”

– Kristina M?nd-Lakhiani , Co-Founder of Mindvalley

Insightful words indeed! This quote is taken from Kristina’s new book “Becoming Flawesome ” and is a wonderful reminder of how our thoughts create our reality.

On our journey as ambitious, mission-driven entrepreneurs, it's common to encounter moments of self-doubt and fear of judgment. We may find ourselves seeking external validation and worrying about what others think of us and our endeavors.

However, it's essential to recognize that the opinions of others, especially strangers, are often a reflection of their own perspectives, biases, and experiences, NOT of universal truth.

Let me ask you 2 questions:

1.??Do you often feel negatively judged by everyone around you?

2.??Is mind-reading part of your skillset?

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A considerable portion of us will likely respond with a "yes" to the first question, while the majority would confidently answer the second question with a resounding "no." Yet, it is fascinating to observe how often we catch ourselves behaving as if we had replied positively to both questions.

Feeling negatively judged by everyone around you can be a challenging and disheartening experience. That's why it's so important to realize that this perception may stem from our own insecurities and self-criticism.

We often project our fears onto others, assuming that they hold negative judgments about us, when in reality, people's opinions are diverse, and it’s us who do the judging. By recognizing this, we can shift our focus from seeking external validation to nurturing our self-belief and confidence.

I know it’s cliché, but before you can truly perceive, embrace, and even expect the love of others, you must first nurture a profound love for yourself. You don’t have to be perfect to be lovable - embracing your flaws and imperfections makes you "flawesome," just like everyone else

We cannot accurately discern what others are thinking or feeling without clear communication and understanding. Assuming we know how others perceive us will lead to misunderstandings and unnecessary anxiety.

Instead, it's more productive to engage in open and honest conversations, actively listen to others, and provide space for different perspectives. Building strong relationships and connections based on genuine communication can help dispel the illusion of mind-reading.

Ultimately, the key takeaway here is to recognize that we have the agency to create our own narrative, one that aligns with our vision and values.

Stay tuned for Kristina's interview on the Wired For Success Podcast, where she shares more insights on "Becoming Flawesome."

In the meantime, you can download a free chapter of her new book “Becoming Flawesome” here . #becomingflawesome

2. Business: The Illusion of Progress

This is a related topic Seth Godin recently mentioned on the Tim Ferriss show, that got me thinking: How do we judge people and things when we have incomplete information about them?

That’s where stereotypes and proxies come in. In this context, a proxy refers to a substitute or stand-in measurement that we use to gauge progress or success. It is often a simplified or misleading representation of the desired outcome. It's important to note that proxies are different from stereotypes.

While stereotypes are generalizations or assumptions about a particular group, proxies are specific indicators we use to assess performance or achievement. For example, a stereotype might be labeling all entrepreneurs as risk-takers, whereas a proxy could be measuring success solely by the number of social media followers or revenue generated.

?So I think it’s important to just name it, there are false proxies in our life and they’re expensive. They get in the way of our output and they also steal our soul.” -??????Seth Godin

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Have you ever found yourself chasing numbers or metrics that seem important but don't truly reflect your growth? False proxies create an illusion of progress, diverting our attention from what truly matters.

In business, it might mean obsessing over social media followers or short-term revenue spikes while neglecting the long-term value creation and customer satisfaction.

Embracing false proxies leads to businesses allocating resources inefficiently. We might invest heavily in short-term gains, disregarding vital areas like research and development, employee well-being, or innovative strategies.

Similarly, in our personal lives, we may get caught up in external validations like material possessions or social status, overlooking the pursuit of meaningful relationships and personal well-being.

People who focus solely on external markers of success might find themselves spending their hard-earned money on pursuits that bring little fulfillment or genuine happiness.

In a nutshell: When you’re chasing false proxies, you’re paying an opportunity cost. Take a look at your own life and assess your success metrics: Are they truly reflecting success or progress or are they false proxies that have you spin your wheels without getting anywhere?

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3.??Managing Your Energy & Projects: The Pace Paradox

Pace plays a crucial role in our endeavors, whether it's completing a marathon, embarking on a project, or growing a business.

Recently, I had the opportunity to WALK a marathon, and the experience made me realize how much pace impacts the challenges we face.

Walking a marathon is an entirely different experience from running one. In this case, the focus was not on speed but on having fun, enjoying nature and good company, as well as good food along the way.

That said, it was not a stroll in the park. We didn’t take long breaks nor did we walk at a snail’s pace – and it still took us 11 1/2h to get to the finishing line.

As I took each step, I realized that the pace of walking created a unique set of challenges. The journey was much longer, requiring more patience, mental resilience, and endurance. The interesting and counterintuitive realization was that in some ways, it feels a lot easier to run a marathon in less time.

Pacing is important in a business context too: In the world of business, the pace can be all over the map.

Some companies skyrocket from zero to hero, while others take the scenic route, enjoying the view along the way. Rapid growth businesses encounter the thrill and challenge of managing unprecedented demands, ensuring quality doesn't fall by the wayside, and avoiding a spectacular burnout.

Meanwhile, businesses cruising at a slower pace require the patience of a saint, an unwavering focus on long-term strategy, and a knack for finding contentment in the journey rather than just the destination.

Here's the secret sauce: there's no one-size-fits-all pace for success. Just like we each have our unique walking or running style, projects and businesses require a tailored approach. It's all about figuring out the sweet spot for your endeavor.

Whether it's sprinting towards a short-term goal or embarking on a marathon-like venture, finding the optimal pace ensures you'll reach the finish line with a smile on your face.

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As we wrap up this edition of the Wired For Success newsletter, remember to embrace your flaws, nurture self-belief, and avoid the pitfalls of false proxies. Set your own pace and enjoy the journey as you build your multi-million-dollar business without sacrificing your sanity.

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Until next time,

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Claudia

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