On becoming Emotionally Antifragile

That Covid has disrupted our lives would be a gross understatement. From physical turmoil to emotional turmoil, from loss of livelihoods to loss of lives, it has provided us with a continuous infusion of stress, disorder, shock and volatility. We like our external environment to be calm, relaxed, stable and ordered, but Covid has ensured that there is a constant flux in our lives. No wonder the global statistics indicate a 30 percent rise in cases of anxiety and depression due to Covid. Covid has opened the pandora's box of paranoia, stress, depression, and anxiety in our society that has exposed the fragility of our emotional health in case of a calamity.

Covid is a 'Black Swan' event in human history. A 'Black Swan' event can be described as "an event that can have a positive or negative effect on society; comes as an unpredictable surprise and which has a major impact on the history and future functioning of a society." The two World Wars are examples of such Black Swan events, so was the Great Depression of the 1930s, the rise of the internet and the personal computer. These events were unpredictable and disruptive that have had a lasting impact on human history and affected the systems and functioning of society. Similarly, Covid, too, has come as an unpredictable surprise and will bring about a change in the way our society functions.

As a species, though, we humans have faced numerous such Black Swan events in our young history, and each time so far, we have successfully managed to evolve our systems and way of life." Anything that doesn't kill you makes you stronger" Nietzsche, the German philosopher, has aptly captured the collective mentality of our species. Whenever a Black Swan event strikes, there seems to be an 'invisible force' that drives us homo sapiens to become stronger in times of crisis and threat. This 'invisible force' trumps over individual paranoia, stress, depression, and anxiety during a Black Swan event like the ongoing pandemic.?

It's quite obvious that, for the ways of the society to change, change has to happen in the individuals of the society. So, it's certain that this 'invisible force' must emanate from certain individuals, amongst us, who would act as catalysts and accelerate the process of change in society. Such individuals are somehow able to transform hopeless situations into challenges and emerge stronger from the ordeal. Such individuals have a mentality that's not weakened by stressors and shocks but are able to thrive and grow under uncertainty.

This raises a very important question, why is it so that while some people are weakened by stress, others gain strength from it? Why do some people thrive in challenging circumstances while others are overwhelmed?

If Nassim Nicholas Taleb, the author of the books "The Black Swan" and "Antifragile", were to be asked this question, he would inadvertently say such people who gain strength from stress and challenging circumstances are "Antifragile".

In his book Antifragile: Things that Gain from Disorder, Taleb describes the term Antifragile as:

"Some things benefit from shocks; they thrive and grow when exposed to volatility, randomness, disorder, and stressors and love adventure, risk, and uncertainty. Antifragility is beyond resilience or robustness. The resilient resists shocks and stays the same; the antifragile gets better. "?

Carrying on, from what Taleb says, it becomes clear that the 'invisible force' we talked about, which drives our species during a Black Swan event, comes from individuals who are "Emotionally Anti-fragile".

To understand what it means to be "Emotionally Antifragile", we must first understand what it means to be "Fragile" emotionally.

An emotionally fragile person is someone who:

-?????????Is driven solely by his genetic and social needs.

-?????????Is completely dependent on the external environment for his emotional stability.

-?????????Is resistant to any kind of change.

-?????????In a new situation, he is constantly thinking about how others will perceive him, always worried about creating a wrong impression or about doing something inappropriate.

-?????????He is mostly either anxious or bored in a new environment.

-?????????All his thoughts and actions are centred around his self. Such a person is averse to any kind of disorder, stress, risk and uncertainty.

-?????????He suffers greatly from chaos and randomness because he has more to lose than gain during volatile times.

An emotionally fragile person would find it difficult to enjoy life in the best of times, let alone during a Black Swan event like Covid. Such a person would not know how to give order to his thoughts, and therefore his attention would be drawn to whatever is most problematic in his present external circumstances. An emotionally fragile person would focus most of his attention on an imaginary pain that is completely out of his control or on some grudges or frustrations and would ruminate on it constantly, playing it again and again in his head like a broken record. We all know such emotionally fragile people, and to a degree, we are such people. Consciously or unconsciously, we are all driven to a large extent by our external circumstances and thus are bogged down when misfortune strikes.?

The ability to take misfortune and make something good come out of it is a rare gift. It is the most admired quality in our society. These rare few who possess this gift are what I call 'Emotionally Anti-fragile'. As an example, think of some of the cancer patients or people with a severely debilitating condition, whom you might have met or heard from a friend or read about somewhere, who despite excruciating pain and with the knowledge that their time is nearly up, still fight with all their will-power with a beaming smile and an indomitable spirit.

These people are survivors whether they live or die. Their spirit lives on and inspires the lives of many. These people have an immense amount of 'courage' and 'resilience'. They are able to transform a hopeless situation into a challenge and find a way to enjoy this challenge to emerge wiser and stronger from the ordeal. They do not let the external environment dictate the contents of their consciousness; they stand firm for what they believe in and don't let any situation daunt them. They do not need the external environment to provide them enjoyment, and they take charge themselves to find happiness even in turmoil.

So, the question is, 'What makes these rare few 'Emotionally Antifragile'? and 'How can we transform ourselves to be 'Emotionally Antifragile'?'

?The 'Emotionally Antifragile' have a unique set of qualities and a mindset that is accessible to one and all. Recent studies on neuroplasticity have provided us with conclusive proof that our brains are extremely plastic and consequently can be re-wired and transformed if enough conscious effort is put towards a particular objective. So, anyone who is interested in growth, improvement and actualization of self-potential can strive to become 'Emotionally Antifragile'.

For becoming 'Emotionally Antifragile', one has to direct all his cognitive vigour towards this set of qualities which are elucidated below.

1.????Acutely aware of what can be controlled and what not: An 'Emotionally Antifragile' person develops an autonomous conscience. Such a person is acutely aware of the limitations of his own self and the environment around him. He knows that expending energy on things that one has no control over is a sheer waste of the limited energy that person has.

2.????Self-contained goals: An Emotionally Anti-fragile person learns to make choices. He takes ownership of the goals and is prepared to face the consequences and challenges for the pursuit of the goal. His actions are reliable and internally motivated.

3.????Learning to enjoy the immediate experience: A person who knows how to concentrate without trying hard and continuously develops skills that get him closer to his set goals, and is in control over the contents of his mind is someone who is 'Emotionally Antifragile'.

4.????Unselfconscious self-assurance: An 'Emotionally Antifragile' person has the implicit belief that his destiny is in his own hands. They are not self-centred. They do not spend their energies to exert power over their environment but strive to find balance and harmony with the circumstances of the environment.

5.????High adaptability to the environment: Emotionally Antifragile person is absorbed in the environment. They are able to observe the environment as part of their selves. They see the environment as an extension of their selves as a harmonious whole and thus, are able to be highly adaptable and flexible.

6.????Great inner strength and clarity: An Emotionally Anti-fragile person sees challenges as opportunities to grow. The more the challenges, the happier they are. They constantly challenge their capabilities to ever higher heights and come out stronger out of the ordeal.

7.????Embracing challenges and experimentation with different skills, ideas and disciplines: An Emotionally Antifragile person works in the intersections. He experiments with different ideas and tries to connect them in his own unique way.

8.????Courage to take charge without fear: For an 'Emotionally Antifragile' person, failure is part of the process. Courage for him is to try again when failure strikes. He tries and tries again without fear, ever willing to strive harder yet content with what he has. This equanimity of mind is what sets such people apart from the rest.

9.????Hunger to discover new solutions: An Emotionally Anti-fragile person knows that to achieve his goals, obstacles from the path need to be removed. He is acutely aware of these obstacles and exerts all his attention to try to find different alternatives to seek the solution to his problem.

10.?Order in the contents of Consciousness: An Emotionally Anti-fragile person knows about his inner desires and works with purpose to achieve them. His thoughts, actions and feelings are in sync with each other, and therefore, such a person achieves inner harmony and has order over the contents of his consciousness.

To conclude, I would like to point that when as beings, we understand better why we are as we are; when we begin to appreciate what drives us, how society controls us, and how we can find harmony between the two is when we begin to get close to the goal of becoming 'Emotionally Antifragile'.

Thank You for reading.