Becoming the Best of Yourself by Letting Go

Process of Growth is normally not an ecstatic, thrilling and enjoyable – it is a blend of down-times and up-swings.

In our lives, we are constantly losing and leaving behind many things – but it is really an opportunity to rebuild, recreate, metamorphosize your life – should you focus and learn to let go.

It is guaranteed that we will lose family, friends, relationships, jobs, social circles, positions, may be finance, health, dreams etc etc – time to time.  And ultimately, we will one day lose our own existence entirely.

But these loses, even though few of them inevitable as well as painful – gives us the opportunity to create a greater and more gratifying life – if only we can accept our losses, let go and move on.

We lose big-time when we have many mental, physical and emotional attachments – and when we are clinging to our past

Letting go is liberating, exciting and exhilarating.

The Things That We find it difficult to let go of

1.      Our mental beliefs

2.     Our damaging habits, along with those habits- we know are bad

3.     Our toxic relationships

4.     Our past mistakes

5.     Our ability to accept mistakes and making it up

6.     Our Guilt, shame, anger

7.     What we should have, could have done or not done

8.    Our hurts, our sadness, our griefs, our regrets

9.     Leaving Our comfort-zones

10. We fall in love with Our ideas & ate unable to view them objectively – plus we can't let go of our "idea of our future" – that might have become totally outdated and irrelevant

11.  Our Egos

12. Our false self-images

13. Our relationship with ourselves[many of us actually dislike our own selves as we are maybe ashamed of our weaknesses and what we have done] – loving, caring respecting ourselves fully and unconditionally

14. Our grudges, Our feelings of revenge towards those who have hurt us

15. Our comparing ourselves with people

16. Our expectations from others

17.  Our material possessions, Clutter of mind

18. Our beliefs about what is impossible for us

19. Our worrying over what other's will think

20. Our tendency to focus on glamorous but meaningless at the cost of our most profound and significant and essential needs

21. Our need to prove that we are right and that we are powerful and that we matter

Why Holding onto the past prevents us from moving on in life – especially when all of us know that our past teaches us valuable lessons

1.      Although it is an absolute truth that our mistakes, failures and past is a great teacher – BUT – what we learn is a filtered learning – all of it in that form may not be very effective in all our future situations and with all we come across 

2.     Because of our experiences we are constantly evolving and turning into newer versions of ourselves – so anything suitable for our earlier edition may not be right for now – unless adapted, fine-tuned and customized

3.     But in many cases, the lessons learned are the ones, which held us to develop into our better selves

4.     Then none of us can fully apply our past experiences to present situations – especially because none of the situation exactly identical to a particular circumstance happened a while back

5.     Many times, we use our past experiences to justify our doing or not doing something [or to avoid taking responsibility]– although the situations are different, people have changed and therefore and the results too will be different

6.     None of your past relationships will ever get duplicated – even if two exes get back together again – you can never replicate the same good experiences

7.     The most profound reason is that when we Rely fully on our past experiences – they actually prevent us from experiencing everything new that the life has to offer

8.    We need to treat our past almost irrelevant to enable us to experience wonderful creative present – OTHERWISE OUR PRESENT AND FUTURE BECOMES PAINFUL EXPERIENCES

Why You Should Let Go of The Past

1.      Because No one can change the past – to influence our present and thereby our future [also the past which our present will turn-out into] – we need to take responsibility and act through self-correction and continuous improvement

2.     To form new relationships

3.     To identify and work on to get rid of all those which caused hardship in your life

4.     To discover, find and connect with yourself

5.     Because – what is gone is gone, what is not yet with you – is not there

6.     Remembering your suffering creates more suffering for you

7.     Being angry and plotting revenge on the person who hurt you – gives more power to that person to hurt you even more [without that person being even aware of this] – WITHOUT ANY-ANY benefit to you whatsoever

8.    Our past, which we are not able to let go of –becomes our identity – and in turn holding you back some more – THEN IT BECOMES A VICIOUS CYCLE

9.     Letting go is never easy for anyone – but it is possible by creating a non-stick mind, a think skin, a real not give a damn attitude

10. This requires a disciplined* way to train your mind

Why we have difficulty in letting go and move on with our lives – 10 Reasons

1.      We try to justify our actions and behavior

2.     In this process we adopt a victim mindset and create a martyr out of ourselves

3.     When instead of focusing our energies on how to get out of our present predicament – we focus on postmortem – it an impossible unresourceful state to get out of

4.     It feels comfortable as there is no hardship of taking action – just blaming on the situation, the luck, other people

5.     In many instances we expect the person[who caused us the pain] to understand, apologize and correct their mistakes – but it is a wishful unreality as it will never happen

6.     We become recluse, passive and give-up AND let circumstances and others control our lives

7.     We are unable to take full responsibility for out life and begin anew

8.    Blaming is a two-way street — when we can’t forgive others is because we can’t forgive ourselves too. Others did something wrong but, deep inside, we believe we did something wrong to cause it. When we feel guilty, it becomes harder to move on

9.     We start believing in our stories forgetting or failing to realize that Our stories are part of our experience and past - but are not who we are

10. We let our happiness be dependent on others - we fear losing that person and all the emotions attached to then – this too is one reason, we can't move on when a loved one hurts us. There’s nothing wrong with loving someone and enjoying to be with that person. There is nothing wrong with forming bonds of love and friendship. The problem is attachment — when we become dependent to clinging on to others

72 Ways on How to Let Go

1.      Face the reality that everything ends and that ending becomes the start of something else

2.     Learn to manage your emotions effectively*

3.     Understand that Freedom & Liberty is a mindset -If you are in a relationship which you don’t like, your relationship is your prison AND If you are in a job that doesn’t give you satisfaction, you would feel suffocated

4.     If you are doing for others and expecting something in return - then you will be frustrated

5.     When you enter a relationship without expectations, you are leaving space for things to happen. That’s why most of us love surprises

6.     If you are having a beautiful moment, enjoy it. Don’t compare it to others (past or future) moments.

7.     Practice to stop judging others

8.    Letting go is one of the most challenging things in life. But it’s a skill worth developing

9.     Theodore Roosevelt said, “Nothing in this world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty. I have never envied a human being who led an easy life.” - for full How to Let Go in success unlimited mantra