Become an Extrovert...

 
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In This Issue:
     Quotes of the Week
     Become an Extrovert
     Bookmark - The Success Sutra
     Inspirational Words
     Spiritual Centre
     Story Time
     Time to Smile
     Feedback
 
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"Change Gears" eZine is a no-cost electronic newsletter dedicated to helping people be more effective and fulfilled--to be masters of change instead of victims of change. What follows are tips, strategies, quotes, resources and shortcuts to getting more done in less time and having fun in the process--to living a more productive and fulfilling life. We're always on the lookout for information to help you live and work more effectively.
 
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Quotes of the Week

"You will either step forward into growth or you will step back into safety." - Abraham Maslow

"Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus." - Alexander Graham Bell

"A doubtful friend is worse than a certain enemy. Let a man be one thing or the other, and we then know how to meet him." - Aesop

"The cruelest lies are often told in silence." - Adlai Stevenson

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Become an Extrovert
By Byron Van Pelt

Learning how to become an extrovert can be a daunting task. And if you're anything like me, just being told to "get off the couch" and "get out more" doesn't quite seem to cut it.

So I'm here to offer some tips and strategies you can implement into your life immediately to get some more results with your social life. And whether or not you're extremely shy, nervous in front of others, or already pretty confident and are just looking for the next level, you should benefit from what you're about to read.

But remember...

Knowing how to become an extrovert is only the first step.

You can know how to do anything, but knowledge in itself doesn't lend to results. It takes implementing what you learn - actually doing it - to create lasting change. Knowledge isn't power. Acting with knowledge is everything.

So, without further ado, here are the 5 tips for becoming an extrovert and being more sociable with people:

Tip 1 - Understand There is Nothing Wrong With Being Introverted

First, realize that being an introvert is not necessarily a bad thing. I used to be quite introverted, and found myself staying in most nights when I was younger because I simply preferred to. I really enjoyed writing and getting in touch with my creative side during these times. If you are passionate about an activity that brings joy and peace into your life, setting aside time to yourself can be a beautiful thing.

Many people who are shy make the assumption that they'll never be happy unless they can be comfortable going out and socializing on a regular basis. They feel that they're a failure of some kind for being alone during specific nights. This creates a completely unfair judgement of oneself and just leads directly to unhappiness.

So it's cool to stay in and spend time alone every now and then! The key is to do it with balance - if you've locked yourself away four weekends in a row, it's time to step your game up. Which brings us to...

Tip 2 - Join a Social Group that Holds You Accountable

Plenty of blogs and articles in the self-help arena suggest joining clubs, classes, and programs that you are interested in to become an extrovert. I think this is an awesome idea; connecting with others with similar interests is a sure-fire way to get out more and socialize more frequently.

But there's another key step to this tip. You need to find a group that holds you accountable. Don't just join a group where members fade in and out over time, coming and going as they please. Join one with a level of accountability. A perfect example of this is a book club. In a group like this, if you're not reading the chapters and showing up week to week, you're going to get left behind and be penalized for slacking off. In this situation, you're motivated to not only meet new people, but to stay consistent with your commitment to getting out of the house.

Tip 3 - Maximize Your Time When You're Being Social

When you're out among friends, classmates, or co-workers already, leveraging your time gives you an increased amount of options for further socializing. The most convenient method of doing this is by creating or joining activities others have planned in the future.

Here's an example: if you're at work and winding down for the day, ask a co-worker or two what they're doing for the weekend. Explain what you'll be up to if you have plans. As you get a better sense of what they have going on socially and they understand what you're up to, you open up the discussion for joining one another at a later time. You'd be surprised how many times you get invited along just by asking someone else what they plan on doing over the weekend.

Being proactive in these situations instead of keeping to yourself will give you more chances to get out of your shell and meet some new people.

Tip 4 - Socializing is a Learnable Skill

A big reason most introverts shy away from social scenarios is because they're not quite sure what to do to be comfortable in front of others. This is probably the #1 stumbling block for shy people who want to be more sociable with others but are terrified of doing so. In their minds, being at a party or social event can be far too daunting because this fear seems like a gigantic, unmoving, unfixable problem.

Instead of looking at it this way, think of being extroverted as learning a new language. If someone asked you to go directly to Tokyo at this very moment and converse with as many people in Japanese as it takes until you get accurate directions to the Hanazono Shrine, you would probably feel like the task was ridiculous. Where in the world would you even begin?

But if someone rephrased the request by asking you to spend a few months learning the Japanese language step by step, getting yourself accustomed to their culture, and then going to Japan to find the Shrine, it would be much easier, yes? Breaking the goal down into specific parts made it more manageable.

Now take the same approach with socializing. Instead of focusing on the fact that you might not know what to say or do in social contexts, think of one aspect you can work on. Maybe you'd like to practice smiling - so you remember to smile when you can throughout the event, noticing how much better you feel when you do so. Instead of going home and beating yourself up for feeling awkward, you get to reflect in the progress you made because you were focused.

The concept of learning anything is a never-ending process. It is much easier and beneficial to focus on one specific aspect of what you are working on at a time than to concern yourself with the whole enchilada at once.

Tip 5 - Shift From Getting to Giving Value

A key concept in transforming from an introvert to an extrovert is understanding the importance of value. Human beings naturally enjoy being around people who they feel have a high degree of value. They will invest more time with them because they receive something from hanging out with them. Sounds simple, but what does this mean in social context?

Think of it as what you're bringing to the table. When people are typically labeled as "boring" it usually means they don't have much of anything to bring to the table. No engaging stories, no interesting information, and no ability to affect others' emotions. When someone walks away from a "boring" person, they walk away feeling no better than they were when they met.

Don't worry, I'm not suggesting you suddenly have to become the most interesting man in the universe. You just need to shift your thinking whenever you find yourself communicating with others. Take your attention off of yourself, and the emotions you're "getting" when spending time with another person, and put it onto what you'regiving.

Are you giving 100% of your focus and concentration to what that person is saying? Are you giving information you've come across that could potentially help the person? Are you giving away specific compliments to make him or her feel better?

If you give enough, you will have a plethora of opportunities to get out more and have your value sought after. Your options will widen significantly, and you will find yourself becoming an extrovert.

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Bookmark - The Success Sutra: An Indian Approach to Wealth
Authors : Devdutt Pattanaik
Price: Rs.259.00

The success sutra is packed with unique and profound insights into how individuals can create wealth and achieve success in life by following indian principles of strategic thinking and decision-making.

most human beings hunger after riches and success. there are any number of management books which provide theories and techniques on how to become rich and successful. all of them advise us to chase lakshmi, the goddess of wealth, in order to make her our own. but the indian approach to prosperity and fulfilment warns against the relentless pursuit of the goddess, writes noted thinker and mythologist devdutt pattanaik, as it will result in conflict. rather, we have to give in order to get, we have to satisfy the hunger of others in order to satisfy our own. if we learn and practise this fundamental truth, lakshmi will enter our homes and our lives.

derived from his acclaimed bestseller business sutra, this book is filled with lessons and insights into management, business and the creation of wealth and success.

Features:

By devdutt pattanaik, the author of more than a dozen bestselling books on mythology and management, leading columnist for business newspapers and one of the country’s foremost motivational speakers.

The book takes a practical and distinctive look at wealth and how to achieve success in life, using stories, symbols and rituals from hindu, jain and buddhist mythologies.

Devdutt pattanaik hosted widely popular tv show business sutra on cnbc. his ted talk on mythology and management received over 8, 10,000 hits online.

The success sutra carries creative and informative illustrations by the author that elaborate the concepts being discussed.

Plenty of insightful anecdotes and examples of people from all walks of life that readers can relate to.

Booklets with excerpts, business cards, posters and an extensive tour by the author to top management institutes, business schools and leading corporations as part of the marketing plan to promote the book.

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Inspirational Words

"Men often applaud an imitation and hiss the real thing." - Aesop

"Excellence is not a skill. It is an attitude." - Ralph Marston

"The most splendid achievement of all is the constant striving to surpass yourself and to be worthy of your own approval." - Denis Waitley

"My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment." - Oprah Winfrey

"Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at it destination full of hope." - Maya Angelou

"Beware that you do not lose the substance by grasping at the shadow." - Aesop

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." - Mahatma Gandhi

"When you reach the point of becoming independent of external events, youíre truly free." - Steve Pavlina

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Spiritual Centre - Spiritual Destiny

Spiritual destiny has everything to do with the purification of the subtle body by removing the layers that surround it.

(C) Shri. Kamlesh D. Patel - President, Shri Ram Chandra Mission - https://www.sahajmarg.org

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Story Time - The Three Questions

King Akbar was very fond of Birbal. This made a certain courtier very jealous. Now this courtier always wanted to be chief minister, but this was not possible as Birbal filled that position.  One day Akbar praised Birbal in front of the courtier. This made the courtier very angry and he said that the king praised Birbal unjustly and if Birbal could answer three of his questions, he would accept the fact that Birbal was intelligent. Akbar always wanting to test Birbals wit readily agreed.

The three questions were:

1. How many stars are there in the sky

2. Where is the centre of the Earth and

3. How many men and how many women are there in the world.

Immediately Akbar asked Birbal the three questions and informed him that if he could not answer them, he would have to resign as chief minister.

To answer the first question, Birbal brought a hairy sheep and said, ìThere are as many stars in the sky as there is hair on the sheepís body. My friend the courtier is welcome to count them if he likes?.

To answer the second question, Birbal drew a couple of lines on the floor and bore an iron rod in it and said, ìthis is the center of the Earth, the courtier may measure it himself if he has any doubts.?
In answer to the third question, Birbal said, ìCounting the exact number of men and women in the world would be a problem as there are some specimens like our courtier friend here who cannot easily be classified as either. Therefore if all people like him are killed, then and only then can one count the exact number.?

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Time to Smile - Life is Like That

Grey Hair...

A curious child asked his mother: ìMommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey??

The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: ìIt is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!?

The child replied innocently: ìNow I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.?

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