Because I'm Not Black

I'm not Black. Plenty of people look at me and think I am, but I'm not. Because I'm not Black, I haven't had to live my entire life in constant fear of being harassed, assaulted, or killed because ignorant people hate or fear me solely for being Black.

Because some people think I'm Black, I’ve twice had the police called on me for jogging through a nice neighborhood carrying a backpack. One of those times, it was my own neighborhood. But because I'm not Black, I could laugh it off with the cop and carry on unharassed, unbeaten, and unkilled. The cop could go back to the neighbor who had called about me and ease his or her mind with the assurance that I wasn't Black after all.

If I was Black, I might have been nervous, afraid, or worse, tired of the bullshit – just because of how Black people are often perceived and treated just for being Black. If I was Black and had shown those emotions or been anything but friendly and relaxed, even a good cop – as most of them are – might have taken my worry, fright, or exhaustion as an indication of guilt. Then, rather than seeing an unconcerned jogger, he would have perceived a probable criminal, a threat. Even then, a good cop, as most are, probably wouldn't have let things escalate unnecessarily – as most don't – because I wasn't actually a thief, just a Black jogger, no need for any trouble.

If I actually was Black, I would have been stopped by the police for jogging far more than two times. The more often it happened, the more I would naturally tend to be frightened, anxious, or annoyed – just for being Black. The more often it happened, the greater the chance that I would eventually encounter a cop who wasn't as good as most, who was ignorant. Or a cop who, for whatever reason, also happened at that moment to be concerned, tense, or impatient. Or a cop who was not adequately trained in, or prone to, de-escalation. If I actually was Black, this would be my ever-present dread. It would be the ever-present dread of my parents.

Without exception, every Black person I know lives with this persistent peril, for them and their loved ones, just because they're Black. Every one of them has run into those cops who are not as good as most, who are ignorant, who are in an uneasy mood, or who are not prone to deescalate. Their education, job, personality, intelligence, wealth, reputation, achievements, respectability, and kindness don't matter – because they're Black.

Because I’m not Black, I can’t fully understand the danger that is their continuous burden. I can’t fully appreciate their exhaustion and outrage. I can’t now fully feel their hope for awareness and change. Although I’m not Black, I can share their voice. I can advocate. I can stand up for every Black person I know.

I’m not Black, but I know there’s a problem. Most cops are good, but a few cops betray the profession with their ignorance, fear, and hate. Most people are good, but racism exists. If I was Black, I’d know that ignorance is stubborn, but I’d be optimistic that change may finally be coming. Although I’m not Black, I can do my part to help bring about that change.

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Brian McLaughlin is a film producer and co-president of Emerald Elephant Entertainment. He is a mentor in the Producers Guild of America's Power of Diversity Master Workshop, a past member of the University of Notre Dame's Alumni Diversity Council and Asian Pacific Alumni Board, and recipient of an Exemplary Asian Pacific Alumni Award. His essay on a possible solution to the Oscars voting diversity problem was published in The Hollywood Reporter in February 2016. An active member of Veterans in Media and Entertainment, he is a former Army major who served briefly in Afghanistan and returned as the media production advisor to General Petraeus. He has an undergrad business degree from Notre Dame, where he was later a visiting film professor, and an MBA from Boston University. He has a grown son, Collin.